Category: Marina

Dorin

Marina

I was standing in a parlor at the Dumanis Manor, batting a fan against my hand. I hadn’t been in Dorin since Emily and Alex’s wedding and having to stay here longer than a few days to kiss rings was making me anxious. Anya Norvine had shown us to our rooms and made it clear she was happy for our company but did not require it, which I appreciated.

We did not get so lucky with Carland Dumanis, who “kindly extended an invitation to dinner,” a week after our arrival. Tristan walked in and saw us.

“Thank Cornan,” he mumbled. “Uncle Trey thinks we’ll have a ship tomorrow.” I looked at him gratefully.

“Why the delay?” Raymond asked. Tristan shrugged.

“Because it’s my grandfather,” he said, “and the world is his to command.” I looked at him. “Mostly he was trying to convince me to bring Caro back here when we return.”

“Will you?” Evan asked him. Tristan sent him a glare. “So, no?”

“No,” I said. “I think the only person who hates Dorin more than Carolina is Athena.” Tristan sighed. “Has it been awful?”

“No,” he smiled at me. “My aunts and Charlotte have been keeping people away, for the most part. I barked at some poor apprentice when he asked after Athena’s health so I think that ended any thoughts of socializing.”

“Why?” Evan said. “Surely most people are curious about Athena’s health these days.”

“We’re not supposed to let any of the Dumanis know anything about Calla or the new baby,” I explained. “Athena doesn’t trust the old man to not manipulate the situation.”

“This all makes me feel like my family is functional,” Evan muttered.

“Oh the Dumanis make me feel like my family is functional,” Raymond grinned. “And I’m reasonably sure they’re all trying to murder one another regularly.” I laughed. They were trying to relax me and I was grateful for it. Tristan looked at me.

“Marina,” he whispered. “I promise we’ll leave as soon as we can.” I nodded. The doors of the parlor opened and Trey Dumanis walked in.

“Duchess,” he smiled. I smiled back at him as he took my hand and kissed it. “A pleasure to see you again. I think it’s been far too long.”

“I agree,” I said. “We all missed you this winter.” He smiled.

“How is your father?” He asked gently. I looked down. Papa’s mind was so far afield lately, I shouldn’t be surprised he hadn’t written to Trey, but it still hurt me to realize it. “I’m sorry.”

“He has his days,” I smiled. “But they are fewer and farther between.” He looked at Raymond next.

“Mastero, I hope the books I sent Caro were appropriate.” He smiled.

“They were much appreciated,” Raymond said. Evan grinned. “No one else thought to give gifts.”

“You were the first Mastero to take vows in a generation,” I objected. “No one knew what was appropriate and Caro thinks we’re all insane for not giving gifts when someone breaks wind.” Trey laughed.

“Ah, I see we’ve settled in,” Carland joined us. “Duchess,” he took and kissed my hand.

“Chancellor,” I said. “Thanking you for having us. Duchess Norvine was not feeling well, she sends her regrets.” He raised an eyebrow.

“Of course,” he said, “Mastero Quents, Lord Allred,” he bowed. Evan and Raymond returned it. “Now, what is this rush you and my grandson have to get to Rastan?” I swallowed.

“King Raniere has offered me a marriage proposal,” I said simply. “I’m afraid I must answer him in person.” Carland looked startled.

“That would shift things,” he said. I nodded. “Will you accept him?”

“Grandfather,” Tristan said warningly.

“It’s alright,” I said. “The Queen has told me I’m under no obligation to do so, but may if I like.” It’s the truth, after all, even if she was joking. I smiled.

“But surely as her heir, she can’t have you linked to another throne,” he said with a smirk, “unless there’s been a change.”

“No,” Tristan and Raymond said at the exact same time.

“My cousin Captain Chastain and the Queen are announcing their intention to marry, when they return to Dovetail,” Evan came in smoothly. I exhaled a smile at him. “With her own marriage settled and children likely coming, I believe Duchess Marina will have a good deal more freedom.”

“Of course,” Carland said. “A disappointment for us of course. We had high hopes for our Calla.” I smirked.

“I’d hardly call Countess of Pantona a lacking prize, Father,” Trey said. I smiled. But I wanted to scream. We were talking politics and petty gossip while two days sail away my enemy was sitting in wait like a spider.

“Excuse me,” I said and stood up, “I think I need some air.” I walked out and pressed against the rail of a terrace.

“Marina,” Tristan came out and found me after a while. “I’m sorry, I know this is torture.” I closed my eyes as he wrapped his arms around me. “Have you been Dreaming?” I swallowed and looked at him.

“I wish I had been,” I said softly. “Then I’d know something, but instead it’s all dark. I’m afraid to meditate, I’m afraid I’ll see Amina again.” He planted a kiss on my forehead. It was so comforting. It would be so easy, here, away from everyone, to have each other. He senses it too.

“Rina,” he whispered. “What do you want?”

“If I said you,” I whispered back, “what would your answer be?” He looked at me.

“No,” he said, “but I also don’t think you’re really asking.” I swallowed. “Oh Marina, what good would come of that?” I sighed and stepped away, “it isn’t that I don’t want you, you know that.” I smiled.

“I crave it, sometimes,” I admitted, “your touch, your eyes on me. Nika saw all of it, and she finally couldn’t take it anymore.” I looked down. “That night we were together was the most selfish I’ve been in my life.” He looked at me. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, because I’m so afraid I’ll be selfish again.”

“Rina,” he said softly.

“If it comes down to Damian or the world, I don’t know that I’ll choose the world, Tristan,” I swallowed. “I don’t know that I can.” He held me close.

“It won’t come to that,” he whispered. “I won’t let it.” I swallowed. “This is my job remember?”

“Annalise is your job,” I said. He cupped my face.

“She told me to protect you,” he whispered. “So right now, that’s my job.” I let him hold me. But I realized he didn’t understand. Because he’s never had to make this choice. No one else ever has, and I chose the world and Annalise once.

And I couldn’t, wouldn’t, do it again.

Advertisement
Posted on by Reenie 0

Revelation

Marina

We’d arrived at our first camp and were discussing the signs of The Dark Lady (drought, mostly) when the messenger arrived.

“Word from Rastan,” he said. He handed a paper to Annalise and then one to me.

“You’ll excuse us,” Annalise said and we all rose with nods. I opened my letter.

Dearest Marina,

I gasped seeing Damian’s handwriting and sat down.

I’ve been told that my silence has worried you. For this I beg forgiveness. Lady Dugarry assures me this will reach you safely, and that were I to claim you, you would still be mine. What a relief it is to know that.

I exhaled. He hadn’t moved on. He wanted me still. I could live on it.

“Rina,” Annalise said, “look at this.” I put mine aside.

Brayton is ensconced at Raniere’s court. He’s posing as an exile named Braga. He has been here for a year.

I looked up at her and then stood up and rushed to my tent.

“Marina!” She followed after me, as I began rifling through my trunk to a sack. “Marina, what are you doing?”

“Figuring out how much my horse can carry,” I said. She looked at me. “Then going to Dorin, I suppose and then Rastan.”

“Marina,” she sighed indulgently.

“You can’t stop me,” I said, “Damian is there with Brayton, he’ll,” I exhaled, “oh I don’t know what he’ll do, but it will be awful.”

“Lefty has been in Rastan for months, and is safe enough to write to you,” Annalise said. I swallowed. “It’s a trap, you must see that.”

“I don’t care!” I screamed. “I don’t. He’s there, alone, Eric isn’t with them. Raymond is with us.” I looked at her. “He’s alone, Lisette.”

“I know,” she whispered and took my hands. “And I know you want to protect him. But Brayton wants you running up there without a plan.” I hated that she was right. “He’s safe.” I started crying. “If you don’t want to go to Rastan at all,” she started and I stared at her. “No, no, of course you’ll go.”

“Yes,” I said. She swallowed. “I have to, you know that.” She nodded.

“I heard there was a messenger,” Tristan walked in. I looked at him and swallowed. “Is Caro alright?”

“Yes,” Annalise said softly. “Brayton is there.”

“What?” He said. “Then she isn’t alright! When are we leaving?”

“See,” I said, “it’s not just me.”

“Oh because he’s always had a level head,” Annalise rolled her eyes.

“Marina you’re not still planning on answering that sham of a proposal!” Tristan stared at me. I swallowed.

“Tristan,” Annalise’s voice was gentle. “We’re not the only people visiting for the coronation.”

“Lestoff’s there?” He asked. I nodded. “That’s why he stopped writing?”

“I think so,” I whispered, “I didn’t finish his letter.” He nodded.

“So, when are we leaving?” He repeated.

“Impossible,” Annalise threw up her hands, “both of you.” She marched out of the tent and I sat down again.

“Are you alright?” Tristan asked gently. I shook my head. “What’s troubling you most?”

“That I’m a little bit relieved,” I admitted. “He still loves me. He didn’t cut off for no reason.” I rested my head on his shoulder. “You?”

“That he’ll pursue her,” he whispered. I swallowed and nodded. We all knew about Brayton’s women. Girls sometimes. Left hollow and cool, vacant, when he tossed them aside. Some people said he used magic to warp their minds to him.

“She’s strong,” I said. “We can go tonight.” He kissed my forehead.

“Annalise is right,” he sighed, “we can’t go without a plan.” I swallowed. “Do you want me to find Nika?”

“No,” I said, “no, I have to answer him, and finish reading what he said.” He nodded and kissed me gently. “Tristan, don’t,” I said.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” I nodded and he stood up.

I picked up the letter.

I’m sorry I stopped writing. Every one of your letters to me was a treasure, but I knew that it would put you and more immediately, Katrin in danger if anyone found out we were still in touch.

I hope it doesn’t hurt you too much to know that I find Lady Dugarry utterly charming. She’s fascinatingly intelligent, and very beautiful and half of Raniere’s court thinks I’m trying to sleep with her, which I’m sure will further endear me to your Tristan.

I smiled at this. I liked the thought of them as friends. And Tristan absolutely wouldn’t.

I have been assured that you’re going to come here no matter what I say to dissuade you, so I look forward to that. To see you and be near you again. To touch you. I can’t wait for you to meet my sister, and see a place I like as much as Rastan. It won’t be the reunion I’ve always wanted for us, but we’ll be together.

I love you, and while I know this isn’t a happy time, I can’t help but smile knowing I’ll soon see you again.

Yours, eternally, yours,

Damian

I closed my eyes and breathed out a prayer of thanks and then another of protection. He still loves me. He’s still mine. I have to hold on to that.

Posted on by Reenie 0

The Dark Lady

Marina

As we ride to the first Westran camp that we’re visiting I notice a few things. Athena and Prior are both fruitlessly trying to cheer Tristan up, and most people wouldn’t notice because the difference between Tristan in a good mood and Tristan in a bad mood isn’t perceptible to most.

The other is that Brea and Lisette seem to be getting along.

“I think it’s a sign of the end times,” Aaron said to me, when Annalise laughed at something she said. I shook my head.

“They’re very alike,” Nika pointed out. “I’ve always assumed it was a matter of time before something broke and they became friends.” I smiled at her. “Or they killed each other, I never knew which it would be.” I laughed.

Nika and I seem to have found some balance, and I’m glad for it. I still miss her as my lover, but I’d also missed her as my friend and I have that at least.

“What changed?” I cocked my head to the side watching them.

“Damned if I know,” Harran sighed, “but it’s a relief.” I laughed. “I agree with Nika it was this or death.” I dismounted. “Is everything alright, Duchess?”

“I need to walk for a while,” I said. “I can’t explain it.” They nodded and I walked ahead of the group quickly. Trees were fewer and farther between, but I could feel the water rushing through each of them. But I couldn’t hear her, not even a whisper.

I wasn’t Dreaming. Normally in Westran the dreams flood in, I can barely focus, but it’s just silence, everything feels cut off and strange.

The off feelings started when I stopped hearing from Damian, and they’ve only gotten worse. I don’t know how to express it either, which is frustrating, there just seems to be something growing in my mind.

“Hello Little One,” I turned at the voice and saw Amina standing in front of me. Her pale skin and hair down around her shoulders and her tight black gown.

“Hello,” I said.

“You’re not afraid?” She smiled. I swallowed.

“Should I be?” I asked. She sighed.

“I should have claimed you,” she said, “why I let my sister,” she placed a cold hand against my cheek. “Things are shifting though.”

“Is that what I’m feeling?” I asked. She smiled.

“I hadn’t realized you were feeling anything else,” she said, “but I suppose so. We’ll speak again soon.” I blinked and she was gone.

“Marina,” Tristan ran over to me, “you shouldn’t go ahead like that, it isn’t safe.” I stared at him. “A messenger arrived, Caro got to Dorin.”

“I need to talk to Lisette,” I said, “and Raymond.” He frowned at me.

“Marina,” he said softly, and went to take my hand. I jerked back.

“Don’t touch me,” I said, “no one should, I can’t.” I walked back to the group and found Annalise sitting with Brea. “Lisette, I need,” I swallowed. She looked at me. “I just saw Amina.”

“What?” Annalise stood up.

“I was walking and I was trying to center, and I haven’t been able to lately,” I swallowed, “and then she was just there. She said things were shifting,” I exhaled. Brea sighed.

“The alarm that you all use around the Dark Lady is so tiresome,” she stood up and brushed off her robes. “She can’t hurt you, you’re alive. She’s frustrated by that fact, I am sure.”

“She touched me,” I growled. Brea’s eyes opened wide.

“Oh,” she said, “well, that is different, then.” I nodded.

“She touched you?” Annalise asked. I nodded. “And you didn’t faint? Or send out light?”

“No,” I said, “her hand felt cold, but then she disappeared.” I sighed. “I don’t know, I’ve been feeling something for ages, and I think it might be whatever this shift she was talking about is.”

“Do you think it’s got something to do with Rastan?” Annalise asked. I shrugged.

“I don’t know, I wish I did.” I sighed. “Can we stop for the day, or do we need to press on further?” Brea bit her bottom lip.

“I’ll check with Harran,” she said, “I’m sure we can rest for now.” She walked away. Annalise hugged me tightly.

“Why are you and Brea being friends?” I asked. “It’s really alarming all of us.” She laughed.

“I’ve decided if Prior and Tristan can be actual partners,” she sighed, “I can at least be pleasant.” I raised my eyebrows. “I’m going to try with Caro too, when she comes back.”

“That is big of you,” I nodded.

“I know,” she whispered. “Are you alright?” I shook my head.

“No,” I whispered. “But there’s not a lot to be done about it for the moment.” She sighed. “I’ll be fine, but I want to figure this out.” I sighed. “What if I’m hers now?” I said. She presses her forehead to mine, that confident smile of hers clear as crystal.

“I refuse,” Annalise says. “Even if she wanted you, wouldn’t the pledges protect us?”

“It should,” Raymond snuck up on us. “That pledge is strong magic. Marina would have to break it herself.”

“Don’t do that,” Annalise said. He grinned and looked at me and held out his hands.

“Hands, Marina,” he said.

“Do the Mastero vows do it?” Annalise muttered. He looked at her. “Make you into an insufferable bossy infant with no manners?” He chuckled as I lay my hands on his.

“You’re not carrying any shadow,” he said. I nodded. He knew it was what I was most worried about. Damian carried shadow with him for months after Brayton attacked him.

“Thank you,” I said softly. He nodded.

Posted on by Reenie 0

Another Move

Marina

“When is my daughter planning to tell me that you two have parted?” Chief Walkin asked settling in next to me. I looked at him.

“I don’t know,” I said, “I didn’t want to lie to you. But she didn’t want to disappoint you.” He nodded. “You must be very proud of Brea.”

“Brea will be an excellent leader at her husband’s side.” He said. “But she’s done little worthy of pride yet.” I raised my eyebrows. “I have always disapproved of your relationship with Nika and the choices it lead her to.”

“I am aware of this,” I said.

“Amina is unhappy with your queen’s troops in the desert,” he said. I exhaled.

“Amina should have thought of that before she imprisoned her siblings,” I said. He smiled and I giggled.

“She should have yes,” he leaned back. “Will Nika come home now?” He asked.

“You should ask Nika,” I said. “I don’t know her plans.” He nodded. “She does help us, quite a lot. Both of them do.”

“Hm,” he raised an eyebrow.

“Marina,” Athena walked over to me, “we need you.” She looked at Walkin. “My apologies Chief.” I nodded said goodbye and hurried behind her to a council chamber.

“What’s happening?” I asked. Annalise was seated, and Harran was leaning against a wall. Aaron and Tristan joined us quickly, Carolina following behind them.

“The king of Rastan is dead,” Harran shook his head. “Messenger couldn’t delay a day?” I sighed and sat down.

“We can’t skip the visits,” Annalise said. “It would be a terrible insult.”

“I agree,” Harran said.

“The messenger also brought a letter for you,” Aaron handed me an envelope. I sighed.

“I also got a letter from them,” Annalise said, “when I was crowned. Is Raniere allergic to the sea?”

“Hush,” I mumbled as I read it.

Duchess Marina Sanpierre,

My deepest regrets for not coming to you in person. My father’s health has prevented me from travelling as I ought to have. I would be most honored if you would join your cousin to celebrate my ascension and to discuss the possibility of a future together.

Please consider me. I have heard nothing but praise for your beauty, kindness and intelligence.

Yours, should you choose so,

Raniere, King of Rastan

I swallowed.

“It’s not the worst proposal I’ve ever gotten,” I shrugged. Tristan eyed me. “I have to go.”

“I need you here,” Annalise said.

“Lisette,” Aaron said. “Marina’s right. She can’t ignore a proposal from the King of Rastan, or dismiss it with a letter.”

“I could go,” Carolina said. We all looked at her. “While you all visit with the tribes, I could go to Rastan, stall, to give Marina time.”

“Caro,” Tristan said. She swallowed. “I thought,”

“I can help,” she whispered. “I can’t help on the visits, but I can go to Dorin first, and,”

“Alex’s father is Rastani,” Athena said. Carolina nodded. “He and Emily could go too.”

“It’s actually a pretty good idea,” Annalise mused.

“It’s a terrible idea,” Tristan growled. Carolina walked over to him and kissed him gently. “Caro, we agreed.”

“I can help,” she said. “We’ll come home together.” He nodded and she looked at Harran. “Has the messenger gone?”

“No,” Harran said softly. “I told him to enjoy the feast.” She nodded and swept out of the room. “That one’s a dark horse.” I smiled at him. “Are you going to be queen of Rastan now, Marina? You’re not grand enough?”

“I’m not accepting the proposal,” I said and sat up straight. I looked at Annalise. “Am I?”

“Of course not,” she said. “Unless you decide you want to after you meet him.” I rolled my eyes. “What’s our excuse for sending Caro?”

“Marina is nervous about leaving the country,” Aaron shrugged. I looked at him. “Given your childhood and the past few years.”

“Fine,” I said and stood up and walked out. Tristan followed after me. “What could you possibly want?” I said.

“Where are you going?” He said.

“To talk to Nika and write to Damian,” I said.

“Why?” He asked.

“Well,” I sighed, “because Nika has been lying to her family that we haven’t parted, so me leaving to answer a proposal could be embarrassing for her, and I don’t want Damian to do something stupid like try to kill the new king of Rastan when he hears he’s trying to court me.” He took my hands. “Don’t,” I said.

“She’s leaving me,” he whispered.

“Then go and talk to her about it,” I said, “I have other feelings to manage besides yours.” He frowned. “Tristan, I don’t ever expect us all to untangle this knot but let’s not make it worse. It will help us to have Caro and Alex and Emily go ahead of me to Rastan. I have to tell my lovers that a king wants to marry me and ask what they think of it.” He looked away. “If you don’t want to be parted from Caro go with her, or stay with Annalise and me. That has always been your choice. None of the three of us can make it for you.” I marched away from him and into my room.

“Rina,” Nika walked in. “Are you alright?”

“I have to go to Rastan,” I said. She exhaled. “Not right away, but, soon,” I shoved the letter at her.

“Goddess,” she mumbled reading it. “This is the biggest one, isn’t it?” I nodded. “Otto’s a crown prince, but his father is healthy.”

“And we met in person and he was as uninterested in me as I was in him,” I said. She nodded. “I have to write to Damian.”

“Of course,” she said and kissed me gently. “Are you considering it?” I swallowed and looked at her.

“I don’t know,” I said, “I know I shouldn’t be. It’s ridiculous.” I sighed. “But after these past few weeks, the idea of having a fresh start with someone who’s outside of all of my messes.” I looked down. “It’s silly.”

“I don’t think so,” Nika said softly. “Meeting you isn’t going to make him want to marry you less.” I smiled softly at her. “Oh Damian might find himself executed though. Raniere’s his friend isn’t he? He wouldn’t murder his friend.” I laughed then.

“Your father knows,” I said, “about us.” She nodded.

“Brea too,” she whispered. I nodded. “He’ll want me to come home.”

“He misses you,” I said softly. She curled up and snuggled close to me. “I’m still doing the visits.” She nodded. I threw my head back. “I hate this.”

“Me too,” Nika whispered.

Posted on by Reenie 0

Brave

Marina

I stood beside Nika a few steps behind Harran and Brea as their parents approached. Nika had her shoulders squared, and her face was placid.

I try to be understanding about Nika’s relationship with her parents, but having been only hovered over and adored by my father, their cool treatment of her and clear favoritism of Brea has always seemed strange to me. But Nika has asked me to support her and I will.

“Chief Walkin,” Harran smiled as their father stepped forward, “and Lady Anaia,” their mother, who eyed me sharply. I looked down. “Welcome.”

“Chieftan,” Anaia said with a smile, “Brea, love,” she kissed Brea on the cheek. “And Nika,” she moved to Nika. “Duchess.” She looked at me.

“Mama,” Brea said, slipping her arm through hers, “isn’t it lovely that they got here so quickly. They only arrived this morning.”

“We had thought we’d arrive before you,” Chief Walkin said as we all moved inside the keep. Nika nodded. “You look well, Nika.”

“Thank you Papa,” Nika said, her eyes downcast. Brea was babbling about something for the wedding in a few days and Anaia was nodding along.

“Is your cousin here as well, Duchess?” Walkin asked me.

“Yes,” I said, my throat dry. “But she is resting, I think. She hates long rides in full court. I prefer them because we move slower, the faster riding is what exhausts me.”

“Rina,” Nika raised an eyebrow at me. I clamped my mouth closed. I realized I was babbling. “Her Majesty offerred to perform the ceremony but Brea insisted on Mama.” I smiled softly at her.

“I would hope so,” Walkin said and moved past us. Nika exhaled as he left. I took her hand and squeezed it.

“That wasn’t so bad,” I said cheerfully. She looked at me.

“I suppose not,” she said. “Thank you.” I nodded.

“I’m sorry I was babbling,” I sighed, “I know your father hates idle chat.” She laughed.

“It’s alright,” she sighed and we walked to our room. “I’m glad we got here before them.” She fell back on the bed.

“You should go spend time with them,” I said. She looked at me.

“They won’t notice,” she said. I lay down with her again. I kissed her softly. She wrapped her arms around me. “We shouldn’t.”

“I’m not the one who doesn’t want to,” I pointed out. She exhaled. “I love you. I can’t imagine they don’t love you too.”

“They do love me,” she whispered, “they just don’t see me.”

“I see you,” I whispered and pressed my forehead to hers.

“Nika!” Brea ran in breathlessly. “Why does everyone keep disappearing on me?” Nika sat up and looked at her sister. “Mama is insisting we go over the ceremony.”

“Why?” Nika said. “We’ve all done it a hundred time.” She rolled her eyes.

“I don’t know, it’s Mama being crazy,” she threw her hands up. She glanced at me with a smirk. “Was I interrupting?”

“Of course not,” I mumbled and straightened my gown. “Do you need any help?” Brea smiled gently at me.

“No,” she said. “Thank you though. I look forward to when you two go through this.” She grabbed Nika’s hand and pulled her up. “Come on.” I laughed as Nika groaned following her sister out of the room. I flopped back again and took a few deep breaths. Stolen kisses were becoming more common, but we hadn’t had sex since that first night she’d asked me to pretend.

I missed it. I missed touching her.

“Excuse me,” Calla’s small voice came from the door. I sat up and looked at her.

“Yes, Lady Calla,” I said. She walked over to me.

“Do you know where my Papa is? Aunt Annalise and Chieftain Harran sent me to find him, but I cannot find him.”

“Perhaps we should look for him together,” I said and stood up taking her hand. She nodded and we walked out. “How do you like the keep?” She smiled.

“There are so many hiding places, I’m guessing,” she said. I laughed. “I found some good ones today, but Lady Mercy said I oughtn’t hide from everyone now that I’m the heir.” I knelt down.

“May I tell you a secret?” I said. She nodded. “Lady Mercy knows the best hiding places at the Palace in Dovetail. When she and I were small we hid all the time. Your Uncle Tristan knows good ones too.” She giggled. “But yes, you ought to stay in sight while we’re here. The Keep is very old and has a lot of secrets.” She nodded seriously.

“When you and my mama and Uncle Tristan were small,” she said, “you hid?” I nodded.

“I did,” I said softly, “and your Uncle Tristan and Lady Mercy. But never your Mama, she thought it was stupid.” She giggled. “Why do you hide?”

“Everyone is big,” she said. I nodded. “And loud, and I want to be brave, like Mama. But sometimes,” she sighed. “It’s just scary.”

“I know,” I said softly. “But there are lots of ways to be brave. Your Mama and Aunt Annalise are brave when they fight. But don’t you think it’s scary for your Papa and Me, to take care of all the people in our Provenance, and our family?” She nodded. “It’s big, and that’s scary. But doing it is brave. So while we’re here, you’ll practice being brave.” She hugged me. “And when we get back to Dovetail, I’ll show you all the hiding places.” She nodded.

“Your Grace,” she said softly, “what if I can’t,” I hugged her close.

“You can,” she whispered. “We’re all here to show you how.” She nodded. “Come on,” I picked her up. “We’ll find your Papa now.”

Posted on by Reenie 0

The Bruise

Marina

I was sitting quietly writing as we’d settled in for the night when Nika walked into my tent. She looked unsettled.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. She frowned.

“I have to ask you a favor,” she said.

“Alright,” I smiled. She was being overly serious. It made me want to tease her terribly, but I knew it wasn’t my place anymore. “What’s the favor?”

“When we arrive at the keep,” she frowned. “I need you to pretend we’re still together.” I gaped at her.

“You want to lie?” I said. She nodded. “About us? That’s not like you.”

“I know,” she said, “But I can’t do it. I can’t go through this wedding and these visits, with my sister and parents, having abandoned my people, my duty to them for a love that failed.” I stood up and went and held her hands. “So perhaps we could simply, pretend?”

“Of course,” I said quietly. “Or we could,” I choked on the words. I missed her. “We could not pretend, we could be together again.”

“No,” she whispered, “no, I can’t,” she swallowed, “I can’t do that anymore.” I nodded, trying to understand.

“I am so sorry, Nika,” I whispered, “I wish I were different, I do.” She put her hands around my face.

“I don’t,” she said, “oh, I would never wish you were different. I love you.” We kissed softly. “I just know you don’t love me, and I can’t take it anymore.” I pressed my forehead to hers. “I thought I could live with it, I really did. I thought that you wanting me, and me loving you and us having our life together would be enough.”

“I do love you,” I whispered.

“You love me as you love Annalise and Athena,” she whispered, “as your friend, and compatriot, but you don’t love me the way I love you, the way you love Lefty and Tristan.” I swallowed. “It’s alright, I made peace with it a long time ago, I just can’t do it anymore.” I nudged my nose against hers.

“Come to bed,” I whispered. She sighed. “Let me show you how I love you.”

“Sex isn’t love, Marina,” she said. “I never doubted you wanted me, or how good our sex was.” I blushed a little. “I think it might be the only way I am above the others in your estimation.” I laughed. “I mean, I have no doubt both Tristan and Lefty are both satisfactory lovers, the way you whimpered that it had never been like this our first time, was quite gratifying.”

“Alright, fine,” I sighed throwing up my hands. “Sex isn’t love, but you could still come to bed.” I took her hand and led her back.

“Rina,” she whispered.

“Nika,” I smiled and kissed her. “I miss you.” She sighed. “You won’t even talk to me.”

“I have nothing left to say,” she whispered. “What happened today?” I looked at her. “With Annalise?” I sighed.

“I suggested that you and Prior form a club,” I teased. She laughed. “Everyone saw, is all that happened.”

“Poor Carolina,” Nika said softly. I nodded. She took one of my curls around her finger. “Poor you.” I smiled.

“I’ll survive it,” I said. She nodded. “You’re wrong you know. I do love you.” She sighed and looked at me. “I’d have died without you, Nika. You saved me from despair a hundred times these past four years.” She kissed me.

“So you’ll save me this time?” She whispered. I nodded.

“I’ll be perfect,” I said and kissed her. “I might even fool you into taking me back.” She rolled her eyes and onto her back, I straddled her.

“Rina,” she warned, but there was a laugh in her voice. I grinned down at her and we kissed. “This is not going to be a regular occurrence.”

“Absolutely not,” I said, unwinder her veil and running my hands over her hair. “Only tonight.” I kissed down her neck and opened her robe, then down her breasts. “I will be perfectly behaved.”

“Mm,” she exhaled, letting her arms drift over her head. I took her breast into my mouth and sucked gently. “Oh gods,” she exhaled. I wanted to make her shake and moan, worship her body.

I traced kisses down her belly to her sex and licked and kissed gently. She inhaled and then let out a moaning sigh. She tasted so sweet. The tiny hitches in her breath, as I tasted her, pleasured her, everything about Nika is so controlled, except here, except with me.

“Marina,” she lifted her hips. “Oh, my love,” I pulled back and looked at her.

“Let go,” I whispered, working my fingers into her. “Just be with me.” I kissed her and she pulled me close as she came on my hand.

“Rina,” she mumbled as I slid beside her and held her. “We can’t.” I kissed her hair.

“I know,” I said softly. “But I want you.” She rested her head against me.

“You’re spoiled,” she mumbled. I laughed. “Getting everything you want.”

“You love me,” I whispered and then kissed her.

“Unfortunately for me,” she rolled over in mock submission. “Yes, I do.” I slid into her arms and she pulled me close. “It hurts, so much, Rina.”

“I know,” I said. “I want to make it stop hurting.”

“You can’t,” Nika said gently. “You’re the bruise and being with you is just pressing on it.” I understood now.

“You’ll have to tell them eventually,” I whispered. She sighed. “Brea might even guess.”

“Brea will not guess,” she said, “Brea won’t be able to see five feet in front of her. Brea is about to marry Harran, which is everything she’s wanted since she was five years old. That this is the only thing that matters to Brea right now.” I laughed.

“She once told me that she knew many curses that would make me wish I’d never been born,” I said softly, “if anything ever happened to you, if I ever hurt you.” She looked at me.

“Really?” She said. I nodded. “Brea doesn’t actually know any curses.” She paused. “I don’t think so at least.” I laughed and kissed her.

“I’d really rather not risk it,” I smiled. She pulled me into her lap.

“Then stop hurting me,” she grinned. I sighed.

“I am trying,” I whispered and kissed her again.

“I know you are,” she said. “You’ll do this for me?” I nodded. “Thank you.”

Posted on by Reenie 0

Proud

Marina

“And then I’m going to anoint you,” I said going over the ceremony for Raymond’s Mastero vows. He was the first in nearly twenty years to do it. “Rose oil and mud mixed from the soil of the valley.”

“You anoint me with mud?” Raymond said. I shrugged. “Cornan’s so weird.” I laughed. “Then I say the vow, ‘I am at the service of the gods and their knowledge in this world, blah blah blah,” I nodded. “And then I’m a Mastero.”

“And then you’re a Mastero,” I said and smiled at him. He sighed. “We’re all very proud of you. I’m sure Eric and Damian are too.” He smiled.

“Will your father come?” He asked. I smiled. Papa was already on his way.

“It was meant to be a surprise,” I stood up. He laughed. “Evan is worried.”

“About me?” He said. I nodded.

“He said you’ve been Dreaming,” I explained. “More violently than usual.”

“Oh,” he said softly, “that.” I sighed.

“Yes,” I matched his tone. “That.” He sighed.

“It’s nothing new, the wheel, the two of them screaming. Karina on a throne engulfed in flames,” he sighed. “I’m supposed to help her but I don’t know how.”

“We’ll both help her,” I assured him. He nodded. “I’m a little jealous,” I admitted, “before the other week with the shadow, I hadn’t Dreamed in months.” He squinted at me.

“You don’t miss it?” He was disbelieving. I shrugged. “Gods, Marina, I thought we all hated it.” I smiled. “Have you and Nika made up yet?”

“No,” I said softly, “I don’t think we will honestly.” I sat down again. “I keep thinking about Damian. How much I miss him, and how he wouldn’t have been angry at me,” I frowned.

“You’re deluding yourself if you think Lefty finding you half dressed with Tristan Dugarry wouldn’t make him the angriest person to ever live,” Raymond said. “I know it’s been four years, but have you completely forgotten what he’s like, especially when it comes to you?”

“He wouldn’t!” I argued. “I mean he did, not the half dressed part. And I wasn’t half dressed that night,” I looked at him. “He was very understanding.” I crossed my arms.

“You’re romanticizing because you miss him,” Raymond said, slowly, as if talking to a child. I glared at him. “If you walked into a room, and saw Elaine Addison draped over Lefty, him whispering to her, you wouldn’t care?” I glared at him.

“I once walked into Lisette’s bedroom and she was riding Tristan while naked,” I pointed out. “And all it did was make me laugh.”

“I’m not talking about Tristan,” he said. “I’m definitely not talking about Tristan and Annalise. I’m talking about the person you love and gave your whole self to, with the person who you worry they’ve given more to.” I looked down. “Nika gave up her whole world, to be with you. And she left you, and now you’re here talking about someone else.”

“Stop being so damn wise,” I grumbled, “it’s annoying.” He laughed. “You’re wrong.” He said.

“Maybe,” he said, “but you never gave in to her, the way she did to you, because you’ve just been waiting. Waiting to find the gods, or Brayton, or for Lefty to come back.” I looked him. “But Nika gave up her life for you, you should be sensitive to that.” I looked at him.

“Do you feel that way?” I asked. He shrugged.

“Sometimes?” He admitted. “I could have gone home, been with my family, with Lefty and Eric and I wouldn’t have Evan, or you or have become a mastero,” he shrugged. “But I’d be safer, in ways.” I rested my head on his shoulder.

“I’m so proud of you,” I said softly. He nodded. “Do you know the thing I hate Brayton from taking me from the most?” He looked at me. “I hate that he took you and Lisette from me. I hate him for it, more than anything else. We could have grown up together, we could have had inside jokes and played and known each other better than anyone.” She exhaled. “And he took that from us. He took it when he killed Lisette’s parents, when he imprisoned my father and refused to let him take us back to Phania. Over and over again.” He looked at me. “He took so much, but the thing I hate him for the most was taking that from the three of us, what we could have had, what we could have been.”

“I’ve never thought about that,” he admitted. “I wish we’d grown up together too.” I sighed. “Have you tried apologizing to her?”

“Yes,” I mumbled. “She won’t even talk to me.” I frowned. “Some of the people arguing against Calla today,” I shook my head, “I had no idea that they were on my side. How could I not know that?”

“I don’t know,” he said, “They probably aren’t, they probably just hate Aaron.” I laughed. “I’m going to be a Mastero, Marina. When I came here, I thought I had no future. And now I’m a Mastero. We can change anything, we’re not bound to fate.”

“I know,” I smiled and hugged him. “I’m proud of you, like I said, I don’t think I’ll ever say it enough.”

Posted on by Reenie 0

The Heir

Marina

Nika has moved her things out of my rooms. She didn’t speak to me while she did it, and I didn’t insult her by acting like I didn’t know why.

But it still hurt.

Now I’m sitting in council and listening to them argue about Calla. Annalise is taking it well, Aaron looks furious. I don’t blame him, every comment feels like a backhanded insult to him and his father.

“Of course no one can deny your family’s sacrifice and bravery, in taking the princess in, Count,” Elliot Frears said languidly, “but surely, The Queen’s own blood line is more suitable.”

“My cousin and I do not share blood on our Cammadie side,” I piped up. Annalise looked at me. “It makes no difference to me.” He scowled. “I am in full support of The Queen’s choice for Lady Calla, please do not consider my feelings in the situation.”

Aaron smirked.

“So it’s settled then?” Annalise rose. Everyone joined her and nodded. “Good, Count, Duchess come with me and we’ll discuss how to handle things moving forward.” We walked out into her private office and she collapsed. “Thank the Goddess that’s over.” She groaned. I laughed and poured myself a cup of tea.

“It always amazes me,” Aaron grumbled, “If my father wanted the throne so damn badly why would he have raised you as my sister? Makes no damn sense.” I laughed. “I am glad it’s settled though, and thank you.”

“It’s really a relief to me too,” I smiled at him. “What do you want from me? For Calla?” He sighed.

“She should be here more, but I can’t be away from Pantona more than I am,” Aaron sighed.

“She should go to Brightcoast too,” Annalise said. “Perhaps not this summer, but next.” I nodded. “Do you want to hand the household over to her, when she’s old enough?”

“That doesn’t need to be decided now,” I said, “I rather like running the household honestly.” Aaron laughed.

“That doesn’t surprise me,” he said, Athena walked in. “Hello dearest, how is your family?” She scowled at him.

“Oh no,” Annalise sighed, “what did they have to say?”

“Oh nothing particular,” Athena muttered, “apparently Reiniere wants to marry Marina after his father dies. Congratulations.”

“Goddess,” I murmured and sipped my tea, “a guaranteed proposal from someone I’ve never met, my very favorite thing.” Annalise snorted. “I appreciate your fury on my behalf Athena, but this is hardly unprecedented.”

“Then they started talking about contigencies,” she sighed, “involving Calla.”

“Oh,” Annalise said. Aaron sighed.

“I’m sorry love,” he said and kissed her forehead. “It isn’t as though they don’t know how you feel about it all.” She nodded.

“I’m just so tired of it,” she said. “I’d prefer an open fight to all of this.” I smiled at her. “I’m sorry Rina, really.”

“It’s alright,” I shrugged. “I made my decisions. This would all be settled if I’d simply gone to Vacana and married Kieran Franz. The fact that he’s disgusting and Damian would probably murder him halfway through the ceremony would have been a bit of a hindrance but it would have made all of your lives easier.” Everyone laughed.

“You would be a lovely queen of Rastan,” Annalise kissed me on the forehead. “Though I think I’d prefer Failon. Otto at least bothered to come here.” I laughed. “At least the debate about Calla as my heir is settled.”

“Yes,” I said with a smile, “will there be a ceremony. I didn’t have one, but that was a bit different.”

“She’s three,” Athena reminded us. “I think simply having her beside you whenever you hold court will suffice.” I smiled. “I doubt she could make it through a ceremony without wiggling.”

“Good,” Annalise said, “I’m glad that’s settled. Marina,” she looked at me, “we have to meet with seamstresses about Westran.”

“I have to go to the University,” I shook my head, “speaking of ceremonies, we have to plan Raymond’s vows.” She exhaled. “Not that I wouldn’t rather watch you stare at fabric samples.” She rolled her eyes. “Mercy will be there, she’ll do better than me anyway.”

“Calla is going to demand constant service from Althea, by the way,” Athena grinned. I laughed.

“Imagine having a little girl toddling after you demanding your attention all day long,” Aaron smirked, “sounds like a complete nightmare.” Athena sighed and looked at the two of us.

“It is a trial,” she teased. I shook my head.

“I didn’t bother you, I was too terrified,” I said.

“You bothered me plenty,” Athena said. I laughed. “Althea’s a good choice though. Elodie is in the guard, and it will help Mercy repair the damage done her family by her father.”

“Ooh, I’m going to use that,” Annalise said, “if Mercy puts up any resistance.”

“No faith in her,” I shook my head, “any of you. She’ll be thrilled.”

Posted on by Reenie 0

Patience

Marina

I was standing quietly as Bethany did up my laces and jumped hearing the voice.

“If you were more serene, you’d be an actual statue,” Tristan’s voice was flat. “Mistress Bethany.”

“Sir Tristan,” Bethany blushed. “Are you alright my lady?” I rolled my eyes.

“I am,” I said, “Thank you.” She nodded and bounced out. “What are you doing here?”

“Caro’s asleep,” he explained, ” andI barely got to see you before.” I nodded. “Is something wrong?”

“Of course not,” I said and pulled a dress over my head. “Do me up?” He nodded and walked over carefully strung the delicate pear buttons through their loops up my back. I suppressed a gentle shudder. That was behind us, and by the end of the night, my body might remember what my mind and heart knew. “It’s been a while since you saw me in my underthings is all.”

“True,” he nodded. “The view hasn’t changed much though.” I sighed and looked at him. “A bit more filled out, but pleasantly.”

“Tristan,” I said, “what in the name of Rana are you babbling about?” He looked at me and sighed.

“I need to talk to you about William Santino,” he said. I blinked oddly at him.

“About William?” I said. He nodded. “I haven’t spoken to William in,” I paused, “well, three years? When did he end his engagement? Stupid idea.” He raised his eyebrows. “What did you need to talk about?”

“What is appealing about him?” He asked. I laughed. “Rina, I’m serious.” I sat down with him.

“Something happened, between him and Caro?” I asked. He nodded. “Oh,” I leaned back, “I don’t think that I’ll be terribly helpful,” he looked at me, “I was fifteen Tristan!”

“You were sixteen when we were together,” he pointed out, “and when you met Lestoff.” I sighed.

“William is,” I exhaled, “attentive, I suppose is the right word. I’d spent so long sighing after you having someone pay attention to me was intoxicating.” He nodded. “And he knew how to kiss, and he was quite good with his hands,” I exhaled.

“Alright, enough,” Tristan sighed. “I don’t know what to do, Marina.” I looked at him. “I can’t hold it against her, I was away for so long, and well, there’s you, and Lisette,” I sighed.

“Poor Tristan,” I said and rested my head on his chest. “Poor Carolina.” He laughed and kissed my hair.

“I missed you so much, love,” he said.

“I wish I could help you more.” I said. I listened to his breath rise and fall. The door opened and I shot up as Nika walked in, her eyes narrowed. “Nika,” I said and walked over to her. “I thought that the blessing,” my voice felt feeble, and she looked unbearably hurt.

“It was fewer people than anticipated,” she said, “Commander.” She seethed at Tristan.

“Lady Nika,” he said softly, his voice full of shame, he straightened his coat. “I’ll see you both at dinner.”

“Tristan,” I said gently as he walked out. Nika looked at me. “He was asking me for advice.”

“And you needed to be in his arms to provide it?” She snapped. I frowned at her.

“Nothing happened, nor will it,” I said and reached for her hands, but she pulled them away.

“I don’t ask much of you,” she muttered, “but I won’t be made a fool of. Aside from that, it’s cruel, to Carolina, to Annalise, to each other.”

“We were talking,” I said. She rolled her eyes. “You’re being unfair.”

“It’s always just talking,” she shouted. I swallowed, “Or just a dance, or too long a glance at dinner, or just a touch,” she exhaled. “There’s no just about it, and I’m sick of pretending it doesn’t happen.”

“I don’t want Tristan.” She laughed. “I don’t, it’s the past, I can’t erase it, but it isn’t,” I inhaled, “I don’t, not anymore.”

“Now you’re just lying, my love,” she said. I swallowed. “Of course you want him,” I stared her down, her amber eyes dancing with fire. “Don’t pretend one hurried night quenched a lifetime of flames.” She turned around and left. I swallowed and sat down.

She wasn’t wrong. I did want him, desperately sometimes. But it didn’t matter. Nika was right, it was cruel. I looked in the mirror, straightened my gown and wiped my tears. I walked over to the Princess tower, where everything had been set for dinner.

“Marina,” Carolina rushed over to me and took my hands and kissed me on the cheek. I suddenly felt like my stomach had been ripped out. “I’m sorry I rushed off before, the last leg of the journey disagreed with me.”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” I said with a smile. She nodded. “How are you feeling?” She sighed.

“Much the same,” she admitted. “But now jealous too.” She looked at Athena. I squeezed her hands. “It’s wrong I know, but,” she sighed. I looked at Nika across the room. “Marina, I,” she sighed, “he said he talked to you and I know what you’re thinking,” I smiled softly.

“No,” I said, “you don’t know what I’m thinking, but you must know that I of all people am in no position to judge you.” She smiled. “And you have Calla.” She nodded with a sad smile.

“I do, and I adore her,” she whispered. “Nika seemed to have a storm cloud over her head when she came in.”

“I think she’s reached the end of her patience,” I sighed. “She’s not as good as you at hiding it.” Carolina laughed.

“It takes practice,” she admitted, “and a certain resignation to the facts.” I looked at her.

“I want so badly for it to be different,” I said.

“I know you do,” she kissed me on the cheek. “That’s why I can forgive it.”

Posted on by Reenie 0

Testing

Marina

It was dusk the next day, when I was sitting with Nika, Annalise and Evan in Raymond’s lab, to test a shadow against his new technique. Nika unwound her scarf a little and pressed her hands together.

“Are you two ready?” She looked at me. We nodded. If she lost control of the shadow, we’d have to harness it. Annalise picked up the block of obsidian and filled it with light and Nika’s pulled her hands apart and a shrieking shadow appeared. I flinched and Evan put his arm around me.

I’m grateful for him and his steady presence right now. I’ve never gotten used to shadows. Every single time we face one, I shudder, and right now hearing it’s voice hissing in my mind, it’s taking all my strength to not scream.

He’s coming for you, My Lady. His patience wears thin. I look forward to watching him bind you.

Annalise carefully pressed the brick into the shadow and it shrieked and broke up, Nika collapsed and looked pale, I ran to her and cupped her face.

“What did it say, my love?” I whispered. She looked at her.

“I betrayed her, abandoned them,” she sniffed. “The Dark Lady will make me pay for my arrogance.” I pressed my forehead to hers. “You?”

“He’s coming for me,” I whispered, “the shadows long for my binding.” She nodded and I kissed her. “You betrayed no one.”

“I would die before I let him take you,” she whispered. I nodded. I loved her so much. I would have died without her these past few years, I’m sure of it.

“Glad you’re both alright,” I turned hearing the singsong laugh in Annalise’s voice and then saw the beam of pride on Raymond’s face, “but more importantly, it worked!”

“It did,” Nika said, standing up. “It didn’t take too much out of you?” Annalise shook her head. “That’s good. When Athena gets here we should discuss weapon design.”

“Absolutely,” Raymond said. “But I think you two need to go lie down.” I nodded.

“Come on,” Evan said putting his hand gently on my shoulder. “I don’t think you should try to get back to the palace.” We walked carefully back to their little house and settled on a bed in their spare room.

I slept for a while in Nika’s arms, and found myself struck into a Dream. I shouldn’t have been surprised after dealing with magic all evening, but it’s still always jarring.

I was running through the black marble palace of Amina. I knew it as well as Dovetail now. I heard the laugh, Brayton’s cold, detached laugh.

Then I found a mirror and saw myself, dressed in white and vieled, a bride. I closed my eyes and opened them to Brayton behind me, his hands around my waist.

“Oh sweet one,” he whispered in my ear, “you’ll be mine so soon.” I woke with a start, and looked at Nika, glad I hadn’t woken her. I stood up and walked out into another room, where Evan was sitting with a book, and he smiled at me.

“A Dream?” He asked closing it. I nodded. “I felt the table rattle. I assumed it was one of you.” I laughed and sat down.

“It might be all of us,” I admitted, he poured me a glass of the wine he was drinking. “Thank you,” he looked at me.

“I’m worried about him,” he said softly. I nodded and took his hand. “Rina, I mean it. Not hearing from Karina or Lefty, his sister just repeating herself.”

“I know,” I said quietly, “but he’s working so hard, he’ll take vow soon.” Evan laughed.

“Yes, any day now,” he shook his head. “My father sent instructions for my council voting, I’m supposed to fight against Calla.” I bit my bottom lip.

“Does he have an alternative?” I asked. He sighed and pointed to himself. “Goddess.”

“Well, I’m also supposed to marry you, obviously, solidifying both of our claims,” he laughed darkly. “Are you interested? I don’t know how Raymond and Nika would feel, but I imagine the wedding itself would be fun.” I laughed and sipped my wine.

“Oh it would be very grand,” I nodded. “Raymond would perform it, I assume.” Evan nodded.

“If not the Queen herself,” he laughed. I smiled. “Of course, I imagine you’d get halfway through your vows and Damian Lestoff would simply appear, powered by pure anger.” I smiled.

“He would not be thrilled,” I shrugged, “but he’d prefer you to others, at least he’d still feel he could be my lover then.” He laughed. “If your father’s whole plan hinges on our marriage, I’m even less worried than I was before.”

“Mm,” Evan smiled. “He is predictable, and underwhelming. I think Prior being made consort is his backup.” I snorted.

“It’s more likely than us marrying, but not by much,” I sighed. “How does Prior feel about it?” Evan sighed.

“My cousin adores Annalise,” Evan admitted, “but if he has any hopes for the future, he keeps them to himself.” I nodded. “I’m worried about Raymond.” I sighed.

“I know,” I said, “I am too. And he’s worried about me, and Nika’s worried about you, and it goes around and around.”

“The wheel turns,” Evan nodded. I smiled at him. “The Border and Westran will be interesting.” I grinned.

“They usually are,” I said.

Posted on by Reenie 0