Aimee & Simon

Annalise

Our arrival in Brinecliff wasn’t quiet. We were expecting it to be, but apparently Queen Aimee Saw us coming. A ferry intercepted us with a note.

My Darling Boy, when will you learn you cannot sneak up on me. We will greet you at the dock. – Mother

“I hate when she does that,” Eric muttered. I looked at him. “Truly, it’s very irritating.” I laughed. “I’m glad you came,” he whispered. I rested my head against his shoulder.

“I don’t actually know how long I can stay,” I sighed, “Aaron wasn’t thrilled about the idea of regenting, he hates it.” He laughed.

“If you need to go earlier than planned, I’ll make sure Marina comes back to you strong and whole,” he whispered. I exhaled. “She’s already a good deal better.” I sighed. Her memory was back which I wasn’t sure was better. Ending the pregnancy took a lot out of her physically, but seems to have steadied her mind and dreams.

“I know that,” I smiled. I leaned back into him. Here I was again, at a crossroads, with Eric in front of me. Will he wait again? Do I want him to? “I missed you so much. Every day.”

“I missed you too,” he whispered. “I thought I was going to die without ever seeing you again.” I sighed. He says these things, and we’re sleeping together and we still can’t know what’s ahead.

“Eric,” I whispered, “what are we going to have to do, to stay together?”

“Immediately?” He said, “get my brother to pull his head out of his ass, and approve the engagement.”

“What if before your brother pulled his head out of his ass,” I whispered, “I had married Prior, what would you have done?”

“Kill him,” he said casually and I laughed. “Which I suppose will be difficult with someone I like as much as Prior.” I shook my head at him.

“You couldn’t kill anyone on purpose,” I whispered and kissed him. “You’re too gentle.” He pulled me close. I was baiting him, I’d just last night been reminded how gentle Eric wasn’t. And how much I loved it.

“Excuse me Captain, Your Majesty,” A sailor approached us and cleared his throat. I was vaguely amused by how his crew called him Captain rather than Your Highness, “We’re docking so I suggest you get ready. You know how The Dowager hates waiting.” Eric sighed.

“Are you ready to meet my mother?” He asked and I grinned. “I don’t like that look. I have this feeling the two of you together are going to be the death of me.”

“Don’t be silly,” I said bouncing ahead of him.

“Drowned to death by the suffocating mercurial love of psychic queens,” he muttered. I rolled my eyes. Marina was already waiting, her arm looped through Lefty’s. She was thin, but her color seemed returned. She was smiling. She didn’t smile much anymore, I could live on it.

“You feel it don’t you?” She whispered to me. I nodded. I glanced at the dock and saw her standing there. “She’s so warm.”

“She smells like sea foam,” I said. We all experience other magic users auras differently. Marina feels temperature, and Nika and Raymond see lights. I smell things. A gang plank was rolled up and I walked out over it. Queen Aimee smiled warmly at me.

“Your Majesty,” she said softly. “Welcome to Brinecliff.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” I smiled.

“Well,” Aimee looked at Eric, “are you just going to scowl at me or are you going to greet me properly.” Eric walked over and kissed her on the cheek.

“Hello Mother,” he said. “Where’s Simon?”

“Working, no doubt,” Lefty chimed in, she nodded, “your majesty,” he kissed her as well, “may I present Duchess Marina Sanpierre.” Marina dipped into a small curtsey.

“I am so glad you’ve both finally come,” Aimee said, embracing Marina. “My gods, you do look like Marie.” And then she looked at me. “But you’re your father,” we started walking. “I danced with him once, Anton.” She sighed. “He was very handsome and quite attentive. My first husband was so kind but he was an old man, when it came to it. Anton and John DuGarry were far too much for me to take.” I laughed.

“Did Lady Katrin come home safe?” Marina asked.

“Oh Kat is fine,” Aimee shrugged, “back in Vacana, helping Karina plan her wedding. Amazing isn’t it? For his daughter our king moves the whole world,” it sounded liked she was winding up for a rant and I grinned.

“Mother,” Eric said gently, “don’t.” She sighed.

“Tell me, Queen Annalise,” Aimee smiled over her shoulder at her son, “did you know how ashamed of me my son was?” I giggled.

“He hadn’t mentioned it, no,” I said. She sighed loudly.

“It’s a trial to have such a willful and ungrateful child,” she shook her head. “Damian and Kat are much kinder to me, thank Rana.”

“I’m her favorite,” Lefty chuckled and Marina giggled with him. “Something about not having to actually give birth to me is endearing.”

“It does help,” Aimee nodded. We walked up to a compound of smallish brightly painted houses. Marina’s face was completely lit up, which made my heart swell. “Welcome to Brinecliff, my dears. I’m so happy to have you.” She instructed some servants to show us to our villa and Eric paused.

“The Queen will stay with me,” he said. Aimee exhaled through her nose. “And the Duchess with Lefty.” Her eyebrows raised.

“You are not in Cammadan now,” she said, her voice gentle, but firm. I looked at her, as I watched Eric nod, chastened. “While I am glad it appears you two have reconciled, I will not risk the queen’s reputation under my roof.” He dropped his shoulders in defeat, as if this had been a long fight between them. Had this been an issue with Talia, I wondered?

“Of course,” He mumbled, “Anya,” he kissed my hand. “I will see you later.” He left. I smiled at her.

“You must teach me to do that,” I said. She laughed hard.

“Will you be alright?” Lefty said softly. Marina nodded and he kissed her forehead. “You are not to be brave, if you need me, send for me.”

“Of course,” she smiled. Aimee nodded and we followed her to one of the buildings, painted a comforting seafoam color.

“I hope you two find comfort here,” she said and kissed my cheek again and squeezed Marina’s hand. “You are safe, you feel it, don’t you?”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Marina said gently. “And I thank you.” She smiled and left us. “I like her.”

“I worship her,” I said and landed on a couch. “Did you see how she quieted the boys? I’ve never gotten Eric to agree to anything so quickly.” Marina laughed.

“What are you going to do?” She asked. “Now that you’re here?” I sighed.

“I’ll have to go to Vacana, I think,” I said, “I can’t just come to Brinecliff and then head home without properly meeting Daniel.” Marina made an affirmative voice. “What will your father say?” She laughed.

“After the past few months, I worry Papa will sprout wings and fly us back to Brightcoast himself, if we stay away too long,” she said. I smiled softly at her. “I am getting better, Lisette,” I nodded. She wasn’t telling me the truth. The ship was small. We all heard her screaming at night. But she’d stopped shrinking from Lefty when he went to hold her. That was something. “You’ve been busy.”

“He’s energetic,” I giggled and fell back against the bed, “either I’d forgotten how skilled he was, or he’s improved.” She laughed. A maid came and asked if we wanted baths, which we both accepted and I soaked happily, clear warm water and rose scented oil soothing me.

“This is a sight I dreamed about,” Eric said softly, standing in the doorway. I looked up at him. “Though I was hoping I wouldn’t have to sneak to you.” I smirked and slid back.

“Do you want to join me?” I whispered.

“More than the whole world,” he said, “unfortunately I’ve been sent to fetch you both. Simon is insisting on family dinner, which wasn’t something I knew we did, and is exceptionally odd because Kat isn’t here.” I laughed. Marina walked in, wearing one of the wrap dresses I’d noticed several women around the compound wearing, brightly colored, patterned, this one a lively gold with little white birds on it.

“Is it alright?” She asked.

“It suits you,” I said, her hair was combed out and puffy too, she’d skipped her makeup. She looked so soft and natural. I rose out of the tub and on instinct, Marina picked up a towel and wrapped me. It had been years since she dressed me.

“I’ll leave you both,” Eric kissed me. “You do look nice, Rina.” I rolled my eyes.

“I’m sure there’s one for you,” Marina said to me. I looked at her.

“No, I’ll wear the training dress that’s clean,” I shook my head. She looked at me oddly. “It’s not that I’m not happy to be here, I am, but I’m the Queen of Cammadan. I have to be that the whole time.” She exhaled.

“Of course,” she helped me dress and then left. Eric was sitting waiting for me in my bedroom.

“I don’t think I’ve spent much time in this one,” he looked around, “getting to know it should be interesting.” I rolled my eyes and went to leave, “where do you think you’re going?”

“We’re having dinner,” I said. He raised an eyebrow and half smirked. “You said we didn’t have time.”

“I’ve changed my mind,” he said, “come over here.” I crossed my arms. “Now, My Queen.” My heart stopped, the way he says it makes me shiver, not deferential, but commanding, possessive. I’m his. I step closer to the bed and he stands up and bends me over it. “We’ll have to be quick, but we’ll manage.” I inhaled sharply as he entered me.

Lefty

I stood sipping plainly on the glass of rum, leaning against the porch watching the tide role in. Gods, I loved it here.

“So you’ve brought her,” my father came to my side. “What next?” I exhaled.

“I pledged myself to Annalise,” I said. He looked at me with a sigh. “It was the only thing to do at the time, Da. I didn’t know that I could ever bear to come back, if she’d,” I couldn’t finish it, couldn’t even think it.

“What does Eric say?” He asked. I looked skeptically at him. “So you two are still there, then? That’s a shame.”

“It won’t ever be the same,” I shook my head. “Not after this.”

“You’re brothers,” he reminded me. As if I could forget it. “And now likely to marry to women who are family as well.” I exhaled and nodded. He didn’t understand, I couldn’t explain it to him either, the way my heart had broken when Eric had refused to leave Rastan with us. “Gods,” he mumbled, and I smiled, Marina was walking up the beach dressed in an orange Pharras wrap dress, her hair brushed out so her curls stuck out in a round style. “You weren’t exaggerating.”

“No,” I smiled and walked over to her. “You look lovely.”

“I hope it’s alright,” she said softly, “my things weren’t unpacked yet, and it was in my room.”

“It suits you,” I whispered and kissed her. Gods, I want her, I can be patient, I waited four years, but being near her, and knowing that even to touch her, hurts her, it’s torture.

Marina

I feel so safe here, and how Damian is holding me, is making me shiver, but for once, I think it’s a good shiver.

“My lady,” the older man who’d been on the porch joined us.

“Marina, love,” Damian said gently, “may I present my father, Lord Simon Lestoff.” I smiled. “Da, this is Duchess Marina Sanpierre, my beloved.” The only claim he ever made on me, beloved, like he was nervous to ask me for anything more official. Like I would deny it, as I’d been denying him.

“To finally see you is the greatest of blessings,” Simon said and kissed me on the cheek. I smiled at him. “And where are the other two?”

“Right here,” Eric said bouncing up behind me, he was glowing and tucking his shirt in. It hadn’t been askew when I’d left them, Lisette was behind him, glowing in her uniform dress. “Hello Simon.”

“Eric,” Simon said with a sigh, “Your Majesty,” he bowed to Lisette who dipped lightly.

“Lord Lestoff, thank you for having us,” she said softly, I noticed a love bite settling on her neck. The Prince’s Glory was small, it wasn’t as if we hadn’t heard them, and Annalise never made a secret of her sex life, but she was rarely this brazen.

“Eric what did I say?” Queen Aimee walked outside and looked at her son and at Annalise. I burst into a laugh and Damian looked at me and started laughed. “My son’s clear disrespect for your reputation is my fault.”

“I can assure you,” Eric said stepping onto the porch and pouring a glass of rum, which his mother snatched from him, “that were we anywhere but home, we would be more discreet, wouldn’t we, love?” The sparkle in his eyes was complimented by Annalise sighing loudly. I liked this Eric, I realized, comfortable and playful, his anger and discomfort seemingly melted away.

“I’m sorry for disrespecting your rules,” Annalise said. “It won’t happen again.”

“That I don’t believe,” Simon snorted and I giggled. Aimee laughed too. These people were going to be my family, my heart felt full.

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Protector

Carolina

I cradled my son gently in my arms, he was squirming and Tristan was leaning against the doorframe.

“He’s perfect,” he said, “except the name.” I wrinkled my nose at him. We hadn’t settled on anything, though an idea had come to me as Elodie had handed him to me.

“He is perfect,” I said, “and how many fathers get to meet their sons before the mothers?” Tristan laughed and walked over. “I had a thought.” He sat down besides me and kissed me. “Chase.” He looked at me quizzically. “For Chastain.”

“Oh Caro,” he whispered.

“Prior’s your partner,” I said, “your brother.” He nodded. “And he’ll come home. This will be the promise of it.” Tristan was missing his people, and I knew it. Marina and Annalise and Prior, all gone with no word on when we’d see them again. It was hard for him.

“Chase, then,” he said. “Chase Dugarry.”

“Sir Chase Dugarry,” I corrected him, “Protector of the heirs of Dovetail.” Tristan laughed. “Unless your father ruins that chance again.” He kissed me. “Tristan,” I said softly.

“Yes, love,” he said.

“When I’m well enough,” I said, “we’ll follow the others to Dovetail.” He smiled.

“If that’s what you want,” he said. I frowned.

“Did you have other thoughts?” I asked. He sighed. “Tristan, don’t brood at me.”

“We ought to take him to Dorin,” he said.

“Ought we?” I raised an eyebrow. He’d stopped talking about Dorin once Annalise had reinstated him. I’d been relieved, as the prospect, as logical as it was, thoroughly depressed me. It was odd for him to bring it up now.

“Yes,” he said, “so that Emily and Alex can see him, and your mother, and Uncle Trey.” I shook my head.

“Are you speaking to Trey these days?” I said. He exhaled.

“Athena’s battles aren’t mine,” he said, “She and Martin always had each other, but I had Trey.” I looked at him. “And he got me to you, after all.” I smiled softly.

“I’d like my mother to see him,” I admitted, “the others would come to Dovetail, but my father would never let her.” He smiled. “But when Annalise and Marina come back from Phania,” he kissed me.

“They don’t matter in this,” he said. I shook my head.

“Tristan,” I said softly, “I don’t want you to lie about it. About loving them.” He looked at me. “I know it isn’t the same as us, as this.” I kissed Chase’s head.

“Still,” he said, “they’ll have him his whole life. They don’t need him first.” I smiled softly. He was putting us first, and not out of a lack of choice.

“What about Athena?” I asked. He sighed. “And Calla, you’re supposed to be training Althea for her.”

“Then it’s Dovetail,” he said, I smiled. “You, young man,” he stroked Chase’s hair, “have a very intelligent and determined Mama,” I laughed. “And she loves you.”

“I do,” I whispered, “just desperately,” I said.

“You need to rest now,” Elodie said walking in. I looked down at Chase again.

“A few more minutes,” I said. Elodie laughed.

“Tristan,” Elodie whispered, “you should go out to the parlor, they’re all waiting to hear he’s alright. And what you’re calling him.” Tristan kissed me softly.

“Get some rest, love,” he whispered, “he isn’t going anywhere.” I smiled. I’d waited so long, wanted him for so long, the idea of not holding him for as long as possible felt impossible.

“Sweet boy,” I whispered. He cooed and fell asleep. “You get to be whoever you want. You can become a protector like your papa, or stay here in Pantona and live, or join the guilds or join the Navy that Lefty is building, or any number of things. You are not on any path. We fought for that.” I looked at my son’s small face, smushed and sleeping, and perfect. He could have anything. No one would push him, or sell him. I’d kill anyone who’d try.

“I managed to sneak past,” Athena walked in and sat down. I smiled at her. “I’m sorry Emily couldn’t be here.” I sighed.

“It would have been nice to have both my sisters,” I said, but I was glad Athena was here. “Meet your Aunt Athena, Chase,” I whispered.

“I’m quite pleased to meet you,” Athena cooed. “He’s beautiful, Caro,” she whispered.

“He’s perfect,” I said softly. She smiled.

“He’s the third most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen,” she said. I laughed. “Have any gifts come? Besides that monstrosity,” she nodded towards the cradle.

“No,” I said, “I know they will, plus the offers, from the same men who ignored me and women who laughed, wanting their daughters to be on lists for him.”

“So eligible,” Athena teased, “another Dugarry that Dorin society desperately wants for itself.” I smiled. “I’ll let you rest.” She said and kissed my forehead gently and took Chase to the cradle. “He’ll still be here when you wake.” I exhaled and fell into sleep.

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Grounding

Marina

We were back at the manor. Damian had gone to bed, and I was staring at Tristan, he leaned looking out the window. Gods, he’s so beautiful, he’s always been so beautiful.

A lifetime of flames can’t be quenched by one hurried night Nika had said. Were they still burning? I feel so many things when I look at Tristan, but I don’t think I burn. Although at the moment all desire feels far away.

“Tristan,” I whispered and he looked at me. “What did she say to you, exactly?” He exhaled. “Amina, I mean.”

“You will be offered a great temptation,” he said, “And if you fall to it, you will lose this.”

“And you assumed that meant me, or Annalise?” I said, he walked over to me.

“What else could it mean?” He asked. I shook my head.

“All kinds of things,” I shrugged, “power, the kind she could give you, something about your grandfather and the guild, Amina’s not known for being straightforward,” he cupped my face and I shrunk back.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, “you’re not,” he exhaled, “Lestoff, and Caro, I know we can’t, I’m just, gods, look at you.”

“It isn’t that,” I shook my head, “I mean it is, but I also,” I exhaled, “being touched, like that, I can’t, I haven’t,” he nodded. “I don’t trust myself, to know what I want, that way. He,” I swallowed, “the things he did, the way it felt, it’s all still there, on my skin, in me, I can’t,” I started crying.

“What did he do to you?” He asked. I looked at him. “Say it out loud, Marina, it helps.” I sat down and he sat down with me. “Breathe,” he rested his hand on my chest, it wasn’t sexual, it wasn’t even tender, just pressure. “And then say it.” I took a deep breath.

“He took my mind,” I said, “he wrapped shadow around it, and made me,” I exhaled, “made me beg for him. And it was every night, however he wanted, sometimes tender, sometimes rough, sometimes he’d just have me touch myself while he watched.” Tristan nodded. “And I liked it, I liked pleasing him, I like the release of it. Except sometimes it would come back to me, this voice, my mind, and I was screaming, that I hated him, that I didn’t want any of it and it hurt,” he pressed his forehead to mine, “and when I wake up in the dark it’s still all there, when Damian touches me, when you touched me,” I exhaled. “It’s like it’s happening all over again, like I can’t say yes or no, I can’t choose, there’s like no choice.”

“It’s over,” he whispered, “when it happens, that is what you need to do, you need to take a deep breath, you need to remember that it did happen, but it’s over, and you need to remember where you are, where are you?” I closed my eyes, “don’t do that, keep looking at me, where are you, Marina?”

“I’m in the drawing room,” I said, “in Brightcoast Manor.” He nodded. “It did happen, but it’s over.” He nodded and I took another deep breath. “How do you know how to do this?” He smiled.

“Soldiers have these kinds of episodes a lot,” he said, “why do you think Martin meditates so much? Why he makes all of us learn how? It helps.” I looked at him.

“Do you?” I asked.

“Not so much anymore,” he said, “I used to. About taking Dovetail.” I nodded. “You said something about letters,” he whispered. I nodded.

“I took it,” I ran to the desk and pulled out the book. He opened it. “This is how he knew so much about me, about us.”

“Gods, I really did have a stick up my ass,” he muttered. I laughed. “How did I not know I was love with you? How did I miss it?” I glanced at the page he was looking at and smiled.

I find myself thinking of you, even when it makes no sense, I wrote, maybe when I was twelve, or thirteen? When I see the guards, or a golden horse, or at my studies, when one of the sister’s tells me to be more serious. I smiled.

I am sitting in the woods and saw two foxes trotting past, he wrote one time, it reminded me of dancing. Are you too grand and pious to dance these days? I swallowed and he looked at me.

“How did you get it?” He asked, I shrugged.

“I was still writing to you, even when I couldn’t send them,” I explained. “Some part of me knew I didn’t want him seeing, so I took it, and kept it on me.” He blinked.

“I waited for a letter,” he said, “sort of, I kept expecting,” he swallowed, “like it was any other time we were apart, that you’d write and I’d answer.” I nodded and flipped to the back.

Dear Tristan,

It’s dark and cold and dead here. I keep thinking about my little birds at Brightcoast, and I pray that they are well. Will you go to see them, and my father? When your baby is born, please take a small white one for them, and tell them about your foolish friend who traded her soul for something that is already dying in her.

He saw all of it, between us. There’s no reason to hope that it will be different this time.

Do swear to watch over Lisette for me. She needs to be loved so much, my poor heart.

Your Friend, Forever and Always

Marina

“You want my son to have one of our birds?” He said. I nodded. “A great honor for him,” I smiled, I leaned back against him. “It wasn’t for nothing,” he whispered. “What you traded, it wasn’t for nothing. You love him,” I looked at him. “Any of us would have, for the people we love.”

“Annalise wouldn’t have,” I whispered. He exhaled.

“Maybe not for Eric, or Prior or me,” he said, “but for you,” he looked at me. “She’d have done it for you.” I looked at him. “And maybe Aaron.” I laughed. “But mostly just you, you’re the person she loves most in the world, Rina.” I nodded and rolled over to be looking at him. “In some other world, some other Tristan was less foolish, and managed to keep you.”

“Even in this one,” I said softly, “you’re the one I trust with my soul.” I’d named it, finally, this permanent, impossible to break bond between us. It didn’t change anything, it didn’t make Caro or Damian matter less, but Tristan was mine, and I was his. “Go home,” I said. “The person you’d trade the world for shouldn’t have to share you anymore.” He cupped my face.

“The person you did it for is upstairs,” he whispered, “and he’s a good man, Rina.”

“What happened while I was down there?” I asked. “You two were practically at each other’s throats in Rastan.”

“For a while when you were taken too,” he said, “but he’s important to Caro, and you. So I am seeing the best in him.” I nodded. “I’ll go in the morning.” I smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

“I love you,” I whispered. “And thank you, for this.”

“I love you too,” he whispered. “Anything you need.” I smiled and went upstairs and undressed. I slid into bed with Damian and wrapped around me. I didn’t shrink away.

It happened. But it’s over.

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Impulses

Annalise

The wedding dinner has broken up and Raymond and Evan slipped away, Evan with a rather wicked grin on his face.

“He seems very sweet,” Eric sighed. “But Raymond blushes when you tease him about it.” I grinned.

“I think it’s something about Allred,” I shrugged, “they’re, creative, his mother was more than a little willing to overshare, and,” I stopped, he looked at me.

“Finish your thought,” he said. “I can handle it.”

“The way you were glaring at Tristan all night would be evidence to the contrary,” I noted. He downed his drink and stood up to refill it. As is the fact that he’s barely laid a hand on me. Kisses her and there, but my bed remained distressingly Eric-less. “We need to talk about it.” He exhaled.

“What do you want from me, Annalise?”He said. I frowned.

“I hate that we’re back to this,” I shook my head, “You being jealous over nothing!” He frowned.

“It’s not,” he muttered.

“You’re not jealous?” I said standing up, interrupting him.

“I am absolutely jealous,” he said. I nodded. “But it’s not nothing.” I stared at him. “I hate it, Anya. I hate that Tristan had you first, I hate that you love him, I hate that Harran got to be at your side while you became the woman I always knew you’d be. I hate that Prior Chastain, however briefly, got to tell the world you were going to be his. I hate that you loved someone else enough after me to even consider a future,” I swallowed, “and I hate myself for it because I have no right to that hatred.” I swallowed.

“But I chose you,” I said. He looked down. “Every time, I chose you,” I stepped closer, “the day you came to Dovetail, Tristan asked me, begged me to marry him and I refused him because of you, because I had to know,” I was holding his eyes, “Harran,” I exhaled, “With Harran, do you understand what I gave up?” I swallowed. “The tribes united with the crown, a promise of the stability of the border, of Westran,” I shook my head, “but no, there was you, always the possibility of you. And we got back from that terrible place and with Prior I would have been,” I exhaled, “I could have hidden with him, burrowed into the safety of him like I have for the past two years, because Eric, it was just that, safe and comfortable,” he was staring at me, I knew this would frighten him. He’s so cautious. Always. “But it’s you, Eric, I’m choosing you, please just choose me back.”

“I’m trying,” he whispered. “I am, it’s only,” he took my face between his hands, “gods, I want to know for sure.” I nodded.

“I can’t give you that,” I whispered. “I can’t change the past, Eric and I can’t see the future. But please know I’ll always choose you, when a choice is in front of me, I always have.” He stepped closer. “Kiss me,” I said. He smirked.

“Didn’t I once tell you to never give me orders in this particular vein?” He whispered. I bit my bottom lip. He was breaking.

“It wasn’t an order,” I said.

“It sounded like an order,” he teased.

“I am begging,” I said, “I am begging you to kiss me.” He nodded, mock seriously.

“What else will you beg for, Your Majesty?” He murmured.

“Everything,” I whispered and we collided then. The kiss was fierce and burning, it consumed me, lighting the fire in my guts that had been missing for so long. “Upstairs?” I whispered.

“No,” Eric muttered, moving to my neck and pulling back to an armchair, he unlaced. “I want you right here.” I lifted my skirt and straddled him. “I believe you said you’d beg,” I swallowed and kissed him.

“Please,” I whispered as he teased himself against me, “please Eric, I need you.” He arched up into me and I groaned. “Yes,” I exhaled.

“Ride me, Love,” he whispered, “we’ve waited long enough.” I exhaled and moved slowly on him, I’d missed him so much, every intense feeling rushing back to me, how perfectly he fit me, how good his hands on me felt. I exhaled as my pleasure overwhelmed me.

“Eric,” I moaned and he finished after me. I pressed my forehead to his. “Why here?”

“You probably don’t remember but there was a night in Dovetail,” he exhaled, “and this was all I wanted, I couldn’t quite resist the impulse here.” I smirked.

“I remember that night,” I said softly. “You told me you wouldn’t share me.” He nodded. “Eric,” I said softly. “You weren’t alone all these years?”

“No,” he shook his head, “no, when we go to Phania there’ll be an,” he laughed darkly, “well, an uncomfortable conversation waiting for me. Talia had tempered expectations of me, but expectations none the less.”

“Talia?” I said standing up. He sighed. “Who is she?” He shook his head. “It’s my turn to be jealous.”

“Lady Talia Warwick,” he said, “she’s one of Elana’s ladies in waiting, she was widowed young, she’s my age, but her husband’s ship went down.” I nodded. Of course, an unmarried Phanian woman would never be in his bed, certainly not a noble.

“Do you love her?” I asked.

“No,” he said. “I’ve only ever loved you.” He stood up and wrapped his arms around me. “I sometimes wished I did. I’ve always envied your open heart,” I smiled. “Shall I have my things moved to your rooms?” I nodded.

“I don’t want another night without you,” I said. He smiled. “You know I hate to sleep alone.” He kissed me.

“I have no intention of letting you sleep, my Queen,” he whispered, I giggled as he swept me off my feet.

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Wedding

Marina

I don’t know whether to touch him or not. He looks terrified.

“You saved me,” I said, instead.

“It was a group effort,” he said, his skin turning red.

“No, not,” she swallowed, “not this time. But all the others.” He looked at me. “I wrote to you.”

“Marina,” he stepped closer.

“I wrote to you and you wrote to me,” I whispered, “and we loved each other and it saved me. It kept me,” I exhaled, “it protected me, from him.” He took my hand. “We’re Magic, Tristan, you and me.” He nodded. “He read them.”

“I don’t understand,” he whispered.

“Our letters,” I explained, “he had an enchanted book and our letters were in it.” He stared at me.

“Ask me,” he whispered.

“What?” I said, he was so close. I was trembling.

“Anything, Rina,” he touched his forehead to mine, “I need to know,” I swallowed. “Ask me for anything.”

“Oh Tristan,” I whispered, “always so dramatic. Always the end of the world,” he exhaled.

“Marina, please,” he breathed. “I need it,” I looked at him.

“Leave me,” I said, he smirked. “Oh please, my darling, leave me, already, give Caro your whole heart, be the man your child deserves, please.”

“Damn,” he whispered, “you asked for the one thing I can’t give you.” I smiled.

“I wrote to you down there too,” I said. He looked confused by that. I knew I should explain, but I also didn’t quite know how to start.

“You were right,” Damian’s voice echoed, breaking us, “you don’t ever get used to it.” I flushed and looked at him and Nika looking at us.

“At least they’re fully clothed,” Nika shrugged. “Not always the case.” Damian chuckled. I was so glad they were friends.

“We were just,” Tristan started.

“No need for explanations,” Damain walked over and shook his hand. “I owe you a punch though.” Tristan grinned. “You came alone?”

“Yes,” Tristan said, they’re awkward together but the tension is gone. I think it’s an improvement. “Caro can’t travel, she wanted to come.” Damian nodded. I smiled softly. “I can’t stay more than a few days, in case,” I nodded.

“Of course,” I smiled, “come sit, the tide will turn soon and then Annalise is going to perform the wedding.” We settled in on benches, and I leaned against Damian.

“What did he want?” He asked me. I rolled my eyes.

“To talk,” I said, “and I think he wanted to test himself. Like I was going to ask him to run away with me or something.” Damian chuckled.

“In his vision Amina told him he’d be tempted by you again and if he fell, Caro wouldn’t forgive him,” he explained. I smiled.

“That’s ridiculous,” I rolled my eyes, “Caro has forgiven us both a million times and she’s the one who had an affair.” He kissed me gently.

“She’s not the one in love with someone else though,” he whispered, “two someones.” I sighed. “I could have told him you’d never want to run away with anyone. I tried that tactic, remember?” I giggled. “You asked me how we would take care of your father in the middle of the desert.” I nodded and kissed him softly.

Evan was talking to Tristan who smiled and hugged him. I realized he was probably asking him to stand for him, in Prior’s place, that felt right. Eric was standing with Raymond. We watched as the beach grew and the tide pulled out and Annalise stood at the driftwood altar on one side and Evan and Raymond stood on the other.

“I am honored, that these two people have asked me to bless their love and union,” she said. “Evan Allred, Raymond Quents, sons of Cammadan and Phania, scions, of great houses, families with roots that once entwined will deepen connections between you, and your homelands.” I smiled. I’m glad she noting how important this was. “Evan,” she turned to him, “do you vow to love Raymond, to cherish him and support him, to honor his will, joy and sorrows?” Evan smiled brightly.

“I so vow,” he said. She turned to Raymond.

“Raymond,” she said, “do you vow to love Raymond, to cherish him and support him, to honor his will, joy and sorrows?” Raymond was starting to cry.

“I so vow,” he said. Damian squeezed my shoulder.

“And do you both vow to share your home, warmth, and hearts, to build a family worthy of your ancestors,” Annalise asked, “and to honor and accept the guidance of The Goddess Rana as she watches over you?”

“We so vow,” they repeated together.

“And so now you are married,” she said, “by the power given me by the goddess and the laws of Cammadan, I bless you.” They kissed and Eric let out a whistle and we all laughed. We walked back up to the palace and settled in for dinner, celebrating.

At some point I glanced across at Damian and contemplated the wedding that we would, by all grace have one day. It’s funny I’d never considered it before. I knew for so long that I’d spend my life with Damian, but how we’d go about it had never occurred to me.

I’ve performed more weddings than I can count in the past few years. I was dressed as a bride when I killed Brayton.

Though I suppose before I marry him, I should probably be able to stand him touching me without shuddering, be able to make love with him again, quiet the voices in my mind which still hiss and laugh and taunt me. All that first.

After dinner I settled in a window seat and Eric walked over and sat with me.

“Is he staying long?” He asked. I frowned at him.

“He didn’t come for her,” I said. He shrugged.

“That won’t matter to her.” He said. I frowned at him.

“She’d have chosen you a thousand times if you’d just let her,” I said, “I won’t feel sorry for you.” He nodded. “He said only a few days. Caro will have the baby soon, he doesn’t want to miss it if he can help it.”

“Are you coming with us to Phania?” He asked. I frowned. “I think it could be good for you Rina. To go to Tumona especially, bathe in it’s spring. Think how rmuch being here has helped. More home waters.” I looked at him.

“Do you think it would help or are you just afraid Annalise can’t handle the diplomacy?” I said.

“Two things are allowed to be true at the same time,” he grinned. I laughed. “Do you really want to be separated again?” He looked at Annalise and Damian.

“No,” I said softly. “I don’t want to be separated.” I swallowed. “Would we go to Tumona?” He smiled softly at me.

“Yes,” he nodded. “We’ll go to Tumona.” I smiled and looked at them again. “She’s frustrated with me.”

“Can’t imagine why,” I rolled my eyes. He glared at me. “What’s your excuse this time? For keeping away from her?” He blinked at me and opened and closed his mouth. “She wouldn’t be this annoyed with you over whatever you did if you were sleeping together. Also, Evan is a gossip and he’s noticed you’re in separate rooms.”

“That’s beside the point,” he narrowed his eyes.

“You fell in love with Annalise,” she said, “and Annalise needs to be loved back, if you think that in the years without you she was looking for anything other than that, you’re a fool.” I stood up and walked to Damian.

“Everything alright?” He asked. I nodded. “Do you want to go home?”

“I think we should,” I glanced at Eric. Annalise frowned. “We’re bringing Tristan.”

“But,” she started, I glared at her. Like hell was I letting her avoid this conversation, and with Tristan under the same roof as them, it would be dodged. “Oh fine. Are you coming to Phania?”

“It would seem so,” I said. Damian brightened and we walked outside. “Pharras too, if you want.” He kissed me softly, I didn’t flinch.

“I do want,” he said. “Thank you, Rina.” I smiled.

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Summons

Carolina

After dinner we settled into one of the extra rooms as I was too tired to head home, I was ready to meet our boy so very much, if only because it would mean he was out of me. Tristan wouldn’t lay down though.

“What’s bothering you?” I asked. He looked at me. “Tristan,” he lay down.

“Is he kicking?” He asked.

“Yes,” I said, “but don’t change the subject.” He swallowed. That he wasn’t talking worried me.

“Marina wrote me,” he whispered.

“Oh,” I said softly. “She wants to see you?” He nodded and sat down beside me. “You should go,” I whispered.

“What?” He said gently. I exhaled and rolled to my side and looked at him.

“You won’t rest until you do,” I whispered. He kissed me softly. I knew he was thinking about what Amina had told him, that he’d be tempted again. And that I wouldn’t forgive twice.

But I’d already forgiven him a thousand times. She didn’t understand that. And I didn’t think he would betray me, not now. Not after everything that had happened.

“What if I don’t make it back in time?” He asked

“There’s still two months,” I said, “don’t stay in Brightcoast for longer than a week and we’ll be fine.” He looked at me. “Tristan, you’re not breaking your promise, these are extenuating circumstances. I’d go with you if I could, I want to know that she’s safe, that she’s better.” He nodded. “Just come back to me,” he kissed me.

“Have I ever not?” He whispered. I smiled. No. Not once. He always comes back to me.

“I love you,” I said, “I trust you.” He nodded.

Tristan

I rode straight, for as long as I could, stopping only when Elian rebelled, and it took a week when I reached the cliffside and looked out over the sea, and towards the palace, and the manor beyond it.

She’d asked for me. And I’d come.

You’ll be tempted. It echoed, the whole ride. Amina’s voice in my mind, her warning of what I could lose.

I got to the palace stable.

“You’re a sight for sore eyes, Commander,” Isaac, the groom who helped me said. “You’re here for the wedding?” My eyes got large.

“Wedding?” I asked. Of course, my heart broke, a breaking it had no right to. Annalise could marry Eric, Marina could marry Lestoff, I had no claim on either of them. “I suppose so,” I said. “Today?”

“Aye,” Isaac nodded, “at tide change, on the beach.” I nodded and walked down to the palace and into the hall.

“Tristan!” Lisette gasped coming down the stairs, in all of her sword of the goddess, queenly glory. She didn’t look precisely like a bride, in her green and gold gown and the crown of the goddess pinned into her hair elaborately braided, with small beads adorning it, shimmering down her back. She leapt into my arms. “Oh, when we didn’t hear from you we didn’t know.” I exhaled, holding her. Temptation, everlasting, burning, unescapable temptation. The girl on the hillside, daring me to show her how much I loved her. “Did the baby come? It’s too soon, isn’t it?” And then I was in the real world again, and she was beaming at me.

“No,” I said as she stepped back, “soon though.” She nodded. “I suppose I should congratulate you.” She looked at me oddly.

“What for?” She asked.

“Marina then?” I said. She blinked at me. “Getting married?” She threw her head back in a full laugh.

“Oh, that,” she said, “no not us,” she said, “Raymond and Evan.” I smiled. “I can’t get married in secret in Brightcoast, Tristan, Olivia would kill me before the month was out.” I laughed. “She’ll be so happy to see you.” She said.

“I’m happy to see you,” I smiled. She laughed. “Is she,” I drifted off, unsure how to finish.

“She’s better,” Annalise assured me, “still, odd, I suppose, even for Marina, but better.” I nodded. “Come on, everyone is waiting.” She took my hand and pulled me down a path to the beach.

“I think everything is ready,” Marina’s voice rang like a bell and my breath left my body, she turned and looked at me. “You’re here.” I smiled.

“Of course,” I said. And then I knew, if she asked me, I had no defenses, I’d flee this world with her if she asked me.

You’ll be tempted again.

“I’ll let you two talk,” Annalise said and kissed me on the cheek. I looked at Marina and swallowed, feeling something in me speed up and want to reach for her. Instead I’m frozen.

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Auntie

Athena

“This is very uncomfortable,” Carolina whined as she sat down. I laughed. “You never talked about this.”

“I’m reasonably sure I did,” I said as Jack cooed in my arms. “Go to your aunt, little warrior so she can see why it’s worth it.” I handed him to her and she laughed.

“Well, I already knew that,” she said. “They settled in Brightcoast.” She whispered.

“Did they?” I sat down. “Lefty wrote you.” She nodded. “And the pregnancy?” She shook her head, “I’m glad, for Marina’s sake.”

“Me too,” Carolina whispered.

“Do you know,” I exhaled, “did he find out?” She cocked an eyebrow.

“The Old Man?” She asked. I nodded. “Not that I know of,” she said, “Alex and Emily can’t always be trusted in that regard though. Why?”

“I kept thinking about,” I swallowed, “A Dovetail heir, Caro. And they had to go through Dorin and into Brightcoast Port, if he’d managed to waylay them,” I drifted off. “Controlling the dynasty? What he’d have done for that kind of control.” She nodded.

“He let Tristan marry me,” I pointed out. I nodded, that was true enough. But Tristan and Lisette had mostly parted by the time he’d chosen to go to Dorin. “How much longer can you stay?” I frowned.

“I’m not sure, we should go soon, I think,” I sighed, “while Annalise is in Brightcoast without a court, Calla really should be in Dovetail.” Carolina nodded.

“Of course,” she said. “Tristan will need to go.”

“Mm,” I shook my head, “no, he won’t.” Carolina groaned. “He’s driving you crazy?” I laughed.

“Yes,” she sighed. “I’m glad he’s here, really, I’ve wanted us to be together again for so long.” I nodded. “But he’s always there.” I laughed. “He’s supposed to be training Althea.”

“He does,” I smiled, “early in the morning, but frankly, The Protector role at this point is more of a playmate.” Caro laughed. “He could teach them to ride. Charlotte said they’re coming through soon, we could get them ponies.” She nodded. It was nice to not have to explain that buying Calla a pony from someone closer by would alienate one of the only relatives left I could actually stand.

“Mama,” the subject of our discussion ran in with her little protector not far behind. “May we go to Market today?” I looked at them standing together and smiled. Calla was in a dress made of fine woven dark blue cloth that Brea had gifted us, Cammadie in style, with it’s smocked waist and buttoned up back, but clearly Westran in craft, and Althea wore a child’s version of a guard uniform, the tailored coat and breeches that boys normally did though, not the short dress version I’d always preferred.

“You didn’t say hello,” I chastised her. She stopped and looked at Caro.

“Hello Aunt Caro,” she walked over and kissed her, “Hello little cousin,” she whispered to Caro’s belly.

“Hello Lady Dugarry,” Althea said with a curtsey so graceful for a five year old, I was going to have to ask Mercy for help.

“Lady Althea,” Caro said.

“You may go to Market if Uncle Tristan or Althea’s Mother or Mama will go with you,” I said. “Jack is being fussy so I can’t take you and you’re still too small to go alone and I won’t have you bothering Grandmama or Grandpapa again.” She giggled and whispered in Althea’s ear who also giggled and they ran off.

“They’re precious together,” Carolina said. I smiled.

“They are,” I said, “Olivia said that they remind her of Aaron and Lisette which is truly alarming, so I’m trying not to think too much about it.” She laughed. “I can’t have them that dependent on each other.”

“That feels hypocritical,” Carolina said, with a smirk.

“Tristan is my twin,” I shook my head, “we have literally never existed apart, it’s very different.” She laughed. “We could probably delay until the baby comes.” She looked softly at me.

“Could you?” She said. “I’d like Elodie to be the healer there, well, really I’d like Marina, but I know,” I smiled.

“Of course,” she said, “I think that Calla would be furious if someone else got to meet her cousin first.” Caro laughed. “We could send for Brea, if it would make you feel better.”

“Don’t you think Elodie would be offended?” Carolina raised her eyebrows. I sighed.

“Oh, probably,” I said. She laughed. She laughed so much more now, I realized. “Have you two come any closer to choosing a name?”

“We can’t seem to agree,” She shook her head, “I thought we’d landed on Thomas but then Tristan changed his mind again.” I laughed.

“I like Emile, I know that was a conversation,” I said. “Or Theo.” She shook her head.

“No one else has brought up Theo,” she sighed. I shrugged. “Thena, it’s not likely.”

“Spoilsport,” I grinned, “your aunt and uncle aren’t being very considerate, Jack,” I said leaning over him. He burped. Caro laughed.

“Don’t listen to your Mama, Little Warrior,” she cooed, I was glad my endearment had caught on. “Maybe your Aunt Annalise will name a prince or princess after her.” I laughed. “I hope they’re friends.”

“If they aren’t the world will probably shake,” I smiled. She looked at me. “Did you see William was back?”

“Hm,” she nodded. “Yes, we had a meeting.” I inhaled. “He’s still my best channel, Athena and I am over whatever it was between us.” I smiled. “This past year changed everything.” I exhaled.

“I suppose it did,” I sighed. “Still, be careful.” She exhaled and nodded. “Just stay here the rest of the day, I’ll send for Tristan.” I stood up.

“Athena,” she said, I looked at her, “if he had tried to take her somehow, he wouldn’t still be alive.” I nodded. She was right about that. “And however much you might fight it, he loves you, and Tristan, and he wouldn’t do something to hurt someone you care so much about.” I closed my eyes, I hadn’t considered, in a long time, that the Dumanis loved us.

It always mattered so little.

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Interlude: The Parting Of The Ways

Olivia

She groaned in pleasure as Anton finished and the collapsed against her. She giggled as he rolled over and exhaled and looked at her.

“Gods, that was wonderful,” he said. She smiled and rolled onto her stomach and kissed him.

“It really was,” she said and stood up.

“Are you going somewhere?” He said. She looked over her shoulder at him, and went to the table and poured a glass of wine. “Get me one too.” She smirked and poured another and walked back to bed and handed it to him. “You should move in here.”

“My father would love that,” she said and kissed him. “He’s already taken to grumbling about this whole situation whenever it comes up.” Anton smirked.

“Does it come up often?” He asked. “Or just when he does ridiculous things like try to marry you off to Caleb Pantona?” She laughed.

“Caleb isn’t so bad,” she shook her head, Anton kissed the spot between her shoulder and neck. “Tom wrote me,” Anton pulled back.

“Did he?” He said. She nodded. “And what did he have to say?” She looked at him.

“He was promoted,” she said. Anton nodded.

“Livvie, not to denigrate what I’m sure was a fantastic letter, but you do realize that I am the Crown Prince, and I was present, when the decision to promote Tom was made?” He teased. “He’ll be a fantastic Commander, probably general someday.”

“It means more money,” she said, he nodded, “And a house on palace grounds. So he’s asked me to marry him,” Anton rolled onto his side and looked at her, “I’m saying yes.”

“Alright,” Anton said. “May I ask why?” She frowned.

“I love him,” Olivia said. He smirked. “People do fall in love, Anton. Tom and I have.”

“Maybe I’m in love with you,” he said. She barked a laugh. “It’s not a ridiculous notion. You’ve been my mistress for a year.”

“It is a ridiculous notion,” she said, “you’re asking me now because you’re jealous, not because you want to, you’ve had a year to ask.” He looked at her. “I have to marry, Anton,” he pushed her hair off her face. “This has been fun, really, but,” he kissed her.

“You sound like my mother,” he whispered, “you’re having your fun, but you must get serious at some point, Anton,” she looked up at him. “I don’t see why you marrying Tom means we have to end things.” She pushed him off.

“You don’t mean that,” she said. “It would kill him.” He sighed. “He loves you, he’d die for you.”

“And you love him,” Anton said, “and I love you, even if you don’t believe me,” she looked at him. “Seems like we all love the wrong person, Livvie.” She frowned at that. She and Tom never discussed it. What his feelings for Anton were. If they were anything beyond friendship, she was afraid to ask. But she couldn’t explain what being in love was like to someone who wasn’t, who hadn’t been. Her mind was constantly occupied by Tom, even when he was away, even during her nights with Anton. And when he was near, it took everything in her to not touch him, not talk to him.

She never felt that way with Anton. She loved their time together, the sex was mind blowing, but it wasn’t the same feeling at all.

“Why?” He asked. Olivia looked at him. “You said you have to marry. Why?” She looked at him.

“I don’t want to live with my father forever,” she frowned. Anton took her hand and kissed it.

“I’ve offered you a way out of that,” he pointed out. She smiled.

“I want children,” she said. Anton sat back. “And there it is.” He exhaled.

“I could give you children,” he said.

“Not without marriage,” she said, with a raise of her shoulder. “I won’t end up like Allison Bettencourt, shuffled off to some country retreat because ‘Dovetail bastards aren’t kept in the capital.'” He frowned. It had been a long time since they had discussed his father’s former mistress, a girl not much older than them, who’d fallen pregnant and subsequently been banished from court. Olivia had been disturbed by the whole episode, and Anton had spent a lot of time reassuring her that she had nothing to fear, he’d never let such a thing happen to her.

“I’m not my father, Livvie,” he whispered. She looked at him.

“No,” she said, “you aren’t.” He looked at her. “I understand if you never want to get married, Anton,” she whispered. “I can’t imagine looking at your parents it seems particularly appealing,” he nodded, “but in that case, you should spend more time with your cousin.” He groaned.

“Brayton is not the answer to this problem,” he shook his head. Olivia shrugged and pulled a robe on.

“He’s next in line after you,” she said, “if you’re not going to marry and have children, he’ll be king eventually.”

“Gods,” Anton muttered, “that’s troubling.” She laughed. “If this is a ploy to get me to marry you, it might work.” She sighed.

“It is not a ploy,” she kissed him softly. “I don’t want to marry you. I wouldn’t mind it, but I love Tom.” She pressed her forehead to his. “I think I’ll do better at Madame Martin than I would as Queen Olivia.”

“So this is goodbye, then?” Anton asked. Olivia nodded. He stood up and went and pulled a rope, that she knew called a servant or guard.

“What are you doing?” She giggled.

“You rang?” John Dugarry walked in. “Cornan save me, Anton please cover yourself. Hello Livvie.”

“Hello,” she giggled.

“Lady Olivia and require something very luxurious to eat, and some of that sparkling wine from Brightcoast,” Anton said. John sighed loudly.

“I’m not your butler, get your own damn wine,” he said. “And you should both know that toasting her engagement right after whatever you two just did is in terrible taste.”

“Oh, John, you don’t mean that,” Olivia pouted. He looked at her. “How did you know?”

“Please,” he rolled his eyes. Anton had pulled pants on. “Tom has been asking me for months what I thought your answer would be.” Olivia looked at her friend.

“Really?” She blushed. Anton sighed. “Oh you’ll find someone else, stop being dramatic.”

“I won’t like her nearly as much,” Anton shook his head. “John, I was serious about the wine.”

“Anton, I was serious about not getting it,” John smirked.

“And what about you?” Olivia asked sitting down with him. “Are you going to Dorin soon?”

“Sometime this year,” John said. “My father is eager for the business to be done so he can wash his hands of Dumanis. He doesn’t trust him.”

“With good reason,” Anton shook his head, “Carlton Dumanis is merciless, my father calls him a thug in a velvet jacket.” John shrugged.

“Unless his daughter is also heartless, I doubt I’ll be through with him for most of my life,” John shrugged and poured himself a glass of wine.

Twelve Years Later

“I was so worried,” Olivia said opening the kitchen door and letting Anton in. He was holding Annalise against his hip, her little head leaned against his shoulder as she slumbered, “oh darling thing,” she whispered and took her. “Where is Marie?”

“We got separated,” Anton said, his voice cracking. Olivia looked at him. “I’m just telling myself that he wouldn’t hurt her, it’s the only thing keeping me sane.” Annalise stirred.

“I’ll send word to Trey first thing, he’ll find her,” Olivia said as they walked upstairs. Annalise stirred and woke up, her wide grey eyes stared into hers.

“Papa? Where’s Mama?” She asked. Anton cupped her face.

“She’ll be here soon, my love,” he whispered.

“For now let me take you to the nursery and you can sleep with Viscount Aaron,” Olivia said. The Princess stretched and yawned. “Sleep well, dearest,” Olivia kissed her. She hated this separation for Marie and Annalise. The idea of even a few nights away from Aaron made her feel itchy.

“Thank you,” Annalise said, “where’s Thena?”

“In Dovetail,” Olivia said softly, “looking after Mama.”

“Good,” Annalise said before snuggling and falling back to sleep. Olivia went downstairs and saw Anton sitting with Caleb.

“Did she fall back to sleep?” Anton asked. Olivia nodded.

“She asked for Athena,” Olivia sighed. Anton nodded.

“Are the Dugarrys coming?” Caleb asked.

“Not until we get Marie out,” Anton shook his head. “Alexia won’t leave her and John won’t leave Alexia and the twins,” he sighed. “Tristan is frightfully serious for a little one and Athena barely leaves Annalise’s side, I don’t think the separation will be good for anyone.”

“What about Anne and Les?” Caleb asked. “Last I heard they were leaving, but surely Marina’s a useful hostage, he would have tried to hold them back.”

“They got to Brightcoast,” Anton sighed. “Thank the gods. Marina can’t even crawl yet, I’m sure it was slow going.” Olivia smiled. “I shouldn’t have left the city.”

“She’ll be safe,” Caleb said. “You’re right that Brayton won’t see her harmed. Locked away maybe, but between John, Alexia and Trey we can work with that.” Anton nodded. Olivia always wondered what her former lover and her husband thought of each other. They hadn’t really ever been friends. But Marie and her brother adored Caleb, which covered a large swath of awkwardness. “Your son is growing well.” Anton snorted a laugh.

“Don’t even joke about it,” Olivia shook her head. Caleb looked at her indulgently. “They’ll use it against Annalise.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Anton said, “even if Aaron were my son, which is obviously impossible, Annalise is my child, born with my wife, she’d be ahead of him in line.”

“She’s a girl,” Olivia said. “And half Phanian. If anyone were to take it seriously that Aaron might be your son,” she exhaled, “it’s been enough this time.”

“None of this is your fault, Livvie,” Anton said. She looked at him.

“We were reckless,” she said. “I was,” she picked at her skirt.

“That’s your father talking,” Caleb said. She looked at him. Reckless little slut, she could still hear him yelling, feel the sting of a paddle or whip or belt. “This will all pass, Olivia. Aaron won’t be a weapon.” She smiled at her husband, always knowing what to say.

“I know you won’t sleep, Anton,” Olivia said softly, “but you should try.” He nodded and left the room. “Something terrible is going to happen.”

“It’s already happened,” Caleb said, “we’ll find Marie, Olivia, I swear it.”

Six Months Later

“Olivia,” Caleb walked into the nursery where she was stroking the sleeping Annalise’s head. “Everyone’s here, we have to talk about it.”

“We can’t send her away,” Olivia whispered. He kissed her head gently. “She’s his.”

“I know, my love,” he said softly. “But it’s not only up to us.” She stood up and walked down to the study. Tom and Alexia and John were sitting waiting. Les and Anne had just arrived, Anne holding baby Marina in her arms.

“Livvie,” Tom whispered and she ran to him. Maybe it was wrong, Caleb was right here, but she wanted to hold him. Only he would understand. “I’m so sorry, my dearest.”

“Me too,” she whispered. “She’s staying here.”

“Just like that?” John said. “It’s an awfully final decision to make.” Olivia stared daggers at her old friend. “We all lost them, Livvie, not just you.” She suddenly felt terribly guilty, why did John have to see everything so clearly?

“Anton and Marie are buried here,” Les whispered, “that matters.” Anne squeezed her husband’s hand. “And Brayton trusts Caleb, or at least doesn’t distrust him.”

“What about your cousin?” Alexia asked. Les looked at her and inhaled.

“Elana has offered us safety,” he shrugged, “and I’ve written two letters. One accepting her, and the other saying that Annalise disappeared with Anselm.” Anne frowned.

“We don’t necessarily trust her, or Daniel,” Anne explained. “Especially since Cyrus has been failing, and the little prince died.”

“Not Aimee’s son?” Alexia asked.

“No, Elana and Daniel’s,” Anne said gently. “Stillborn, poor thing. Eric is thriving, which is almost more worrying.”

“They’ll want a betrothal,” John said. “Especially if she’s living there.” Alexia snorted derisively. “Oh, do you have an opinion on it, Lexi? Please enlighten us, you’ve never mentioned it!” Olivia almost wanted to smile, she knew it was grief and exhaustion fueling John’s mood but at least he was acting like himself. That was a comfort.

“Children shouldn’t be pawns in power games,” she said sharply to her husband. He looked at her. “We got lucky. Annalise and Eric may not.”

“Don’t let your father or Trey hear you talking that way,” Tom said. “They’re already cataloguing Athena’s dowry.” Alexia glared at him. “Annalise is already half Phanian and in hiding. I don’t think that being raised out of the country will help matters.” He lifted her face. “You want her?”

“Of course,” she whispered. He smiled gently at her. “She’s Anton’s daughter.” He nodded and looked at Caleb.

“Anything,” Caleb whispered. “Anything she wants.”

Olivia lay in bed that night crying softly. She had every night for a week. Caleb came in and sat down.

“Olivia,” he whispered, “you know I’ve never questioned you,” she rolled over. “I swore I never would,” she looked at him.

“Do you doubt me?” She whispered. He cupped her face.

“Maybe your heart, a little,” he whispered, “I’m not a saint, my love.” She smiled. “I’ve never doubted your faithfulness, and I’m not jealous by nature,” he trailed off.

“I loved Anton,” she said, “he was my dearest friend,” Caleb nodded. “And when we were together it was, well, it was like living in constant sunshine.” She kissed him. “But we weren’t in love, it wasn’t like that, between us. Nothing like this, like us,” he smiled. “But she’s Anton’s, she’s a part of him and I can’t have lost all of him, Caleb, I just can’t.” He nodded and kissed her again.

“Alright,” he said. “She’s ours then.” She smiled. “She’ll need a new name.”

“And a story,” she whispered. He nodded. “Is she yours?” He laughed.

“Years of you being unfaithful and suddenly I had a Phanian mistress?” He said. She smiled. “There’s a war, Olivia, there are plenty of orphans and everyone knows we wanted more children, an adoption wouldn’t be that strange.” She nodded. “It will be hard on Aaron.”

“To have a sister?” Olivia asked and snuggled into him.

“To have a secret,” Caleb whispered. She nodded.

“It is a little selfish of me,” Olivia whispered, “maybe Brightcoast would be better. Les is her uncle.” Caleb exhaled.

“That’s too dangerous,” he whispered. “She and Marina together,” Olivia exhaled. He was probably right about that. Caleb’s mind turned that way, it was remarkable, he always saw four steps ahead of her, and she usually saw six steps ahead of everyone else. “No, here is right, even with the bonus that it will make you happy.” She looked at him.

“I might still have another,” she said softly. He looked at hver.

“After Joseph,” he said softly, “I don’t know that I can do it again, Olivia.” She looked at him. “I love you, and we can keep trying, if you really want to, but,” he closed his eyes. “We don’t need it.”

“Poor Joseph,” she whispered, she’d at least gotten to hold him. Which was somehow better and worse than the miscarriages. He’d come too soon, he was too small, he could barely breathe. And she’d held him until he stopped. And then Caleb had held her. Had let her cry and scream and curse the gods, and then he’d wrapped their little boy in satin, and let her look away while they put him in the ground. But Caleb hadn’t looked away, hadn’t blinked, hadn’t faltered.

He never did.

“Lisette,” he whispered. Olivia looked at him. “Her name.”

“That came quickly,” she smiled.

“It was the one I had in mind,” he admitted, “if Joseph had been a girl,” he drifted off. “It’s like a part of Annalise, I thought it would be nice, to honor her,” she looked at him. The depths of this man.

“Lisette then,” she said. “She’s ours.” Caleb nodded.

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Request

Annalise

Being in the summer palace without court felt bizarre, it was too quiet, too lifeless. I wandered the halls and flopped in empty receiving rooms, and waited for word from the manor that Marina was well enough to see people.

“Annalise?” Evan walked up to me one day. He and Raymond had stayed at least. I’d begged them not to go to the University Outpost instead, there had to be someone else besides me and Eric and the servants. “I thought you’d want to know Prior wrote me from the border keep.” I smiled at him.

“Thank you,” I said. He sat down with me. “I hope you don’t hate me.” He laughed and shook his head.

“No,” he said, “but give him time to grieve you. He loved you for longer than you even knew him.” I exhaled.

“I miss him,” I said softly. Evan smiled. “He said he wouldn’t go back to Allred.” He exhaled.

“My father is going to lose his mind,” Evan admitted. “We should all stay clear of Allred for a while.” I laughed. “Raymond wants to go back to Phania, when they go.” I nodded.

“Of course,” I said. “You should go with them.” He nodded. “Is there something else?”

“We’d like to be married when we go,” Evan smirked. I sighed.

“Evan,” I said, “you have my permission, but you know that in Phania they won’t,” he raised his hand to stop me.

“We don’t just want your permission, Annalise,” he said, “we want you to perform it.” I laughed.

“So then it can’t be denied without insulting me,” I said. Evan nodded. It was a truly brilliant plan. “Alright, when?” I gasped. “Oh, should we send for your parents.”

“No,” Evan laughed, “but when Marina is feeling better.” I nodded. “I’d like Prior to be there, but I doubt there’s time.” I sighed and leaned back against the couch. “Annalise, what happened, exactly?”

“We got back and I realized that,” I exhaled, “as much as I love him, and it’s so much, I couldn’t,” I exhaled, “I couldn’t live knowing that he’d always deserve more than I could give him.” Evan hugged me. “And I hate that Tristan and Aaron were right.”

“Well, we all hate when that happens,” he said. Eric walked in and looked at us. “Your Highness,” Evan said and stood up.

“Lord Allred,” Eric said as he left. “He is not going to warm up to me.”

“Probably not,” I said. “Prior is like a brother to him.” He laughed. “They want to go to Phania.”

“Oh, Lara and Elana are going to love Evan,” he groaned. “He’s so polite and responsible.” I leaned against him.

“What if I went?” I asked.

“To Phania?” He asked. I nodded. “Can you?”

“I think so,” I said. “Things went well enough while I was in Westran. I have to start visiting other courts eventually, and I want to know your family. You know mine.”

“You don’t want to know my family,” he said, “well, my mother, I suppose and Simon, and Kat, and maybe Karina, but the rest of them, no. You don’t.”

“Eric,” I said, “we can’t do this again. I win the horrible family contest every time. Brayton dragged Marina into a shadow realm where he brainwashed and raped her. Then she stabbed him repeatedly until he had no blood left.”

“Yes but you have the Pantonas,” he said, “and even though my mother and Simon are wonderful, they are also crazy.” I smiled. “I love you. And I want you to see Phania, I do, but is this the right time?”

“There’ll never be a right time,” I said, “but maybe if he sees me, sees us,” I exhaled. He nodded.

“I hate waiting,” Raymond walked in and plopped down. I raised my eyebrows at him.

“I just agreed to not only permit but perform your marriage, no complaining,” I pointed at him. He tossed a note at me.

I will tell you when she’s feeling better stop bothering me.

I laughed.

“Nika is very strict,” I shrugged. “We’re lucky it’s not Brea, Harran says while she was taking care of his father, she practically ringed the room in fire on days when he wasn’t up to visitors.”

“Ugh,” he said. “I want to get married and I want to go home.” Eric smiled.

“Anya’s coming with us,” he pointed out. I smiled.

“Really?” Raymond said. I nodded. “Oh good. Maybe my mother will let me open a window in Tumona if you go there.”

“I wouldn’t count on it.” Eric said. I laughed. “Lara finds the sun abrasive.” Raymond was grinning ear to ear, I’d known he missed home, and Eric, but how much had escaped me. “Should I write to Elana or will you?”

“You write to your mother, I’ll handle the queen,” Raymond said. Eric sighed. “Kari?” Eric stretched.

“We can let Elana handle Kari,” Eric said, “and Kat, we’ll give Lefty the honor.”

“Is this normal?” I said, “You three juggling the women in your family? Should I be preparing for something?”

“If you think they didn’t spend every minute they were here the first time juggling you two,” Raymond teased and Eric playfully tackled him to the floor, Raymond turned him over and pinned him. “Give?”

“Yes, I give, you maniac,” Eric said and kicked him.

“Boys,” I mumbled and they stood up, “how am I supposed to take my Mastero and my consort seriously when they behave like alley cats?” Eric looked at me, and it was like the it was the first time I’d said it out loud. I hadn’t asked him. He hadn’t accepted.

“Consort, hm?” He grinned. I rolled my eyes. “King Consort? Lord Consort? Prince Consort?”

“That’s not up to her, Your Highness,” Raymond said with a kick to his thigh which Eric blocked. “Council will debate it for years maybe,” he stood up and walked out. He eyes me.

“It won’t take years,” I assured him.

“It better not,” he kissed me gently and then pulled back as the door opened.

“Well, this is a cozy scene,” a young woman walked in, carrying a crate. I grinned at her. Elaine and Dorian Addison were staples in Brightcoast, and Lefty’s oldest friends. Lainey in particular saw to it that Marina and I were cared for over the past few years. “Your Majesty,” Lainey curtseyed.

“Mistress Addison,” I said.

“Lainey,” Eric said gently, she shot Eric a cool look.

“Your Highness,” she said, setting the crate down. “Please thank your brother, Queen Annalise, this year’s whiskey barrel is selling very well.”

“He’ll be thrilled,” I said, “what did you bring me?”

“The newest vintage of the Brightcoast wine, I know you like it,” Lainey shrugged, “and a bottle of Dorian’s rum, for him.” Eric grinned.

“I’ve been good Lainey, I swear it,” he said. She shrugged.

“I wouldn’t have taken him back if I were you,” she said to me. “Is Marina up for visitors?”

“Nika says no, but I’m sure Lefty would be happy to see you,” I assured her. She nodded and turned and left, hitting Eric upside the head on her way out. “What did you do to her?” I gaped at him.

“There was an incident with some expensive and rare spirits that she got me,” he said. I raised an eyebrow. “She got me a barrel of Pharras rum that took her a month to find and I went through it in a week.”

“The whole barrel?” I said. “Gods, Eric!”

“Well, I wasn’t drinking it alone,” Eric said, “there was this incredibly limber and thirsty tavern girl, named, Ada with me,” I crossed my arms. “At the time, my dearest one, you were likely bent over some kind of furniture while Harran had his way with you.” He was trying to provoke me, I realized, we hadn’t had it out over my relationship with Harran. It worked.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Harran wasn’t that creative, he mostly liked to be ridden,” I said and stalked out. I had no right to feel jealous and I knew it. But I was more annoyed at the way he spoke about it. Like I’d done something wrong, when he was the one who walked away. Nika would have to handle it. I needed to see Marina. I walked down to the manor, only to be greeted by Marina herself splashing in a tide pool. while Uncle Les sat smiling in the sunshine. My fury at Eric melted seeing them, both free and happy, for maybe the first time ever.

“Oh Lisette!” Marina said with a giggle, “I’m glad you’ve come, look, there are starfish!” I smiled and went and joined her there were indeed, several, floating to the surface.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“Oh I’m fine, Nika is being a pest,” she said. Uncles Les walked over. “Where’s Eric?”

“Sulking,” I said, “but he invited me to come to Phania.”

“Did he?” Uncle Les said brightly. I nodded, waiting for his lecture about the danger I’d be in, as if my mind couldn’t grasp that those feelings had never been his. “Just Brinecliff, or will you be greeting my Aunt Lara as well?”

“Vacana and Tumona too,” I said. He nodded. “You could come with us.” He laughed.

“I’m feeling better about a lot of things, my dear,” he said softly, “but no, I don’t think returning to Tumona is the right course at the moment.” I nodded. Lefty walked down and saw us.

“Your Grace,” he smiled at Uncle Les, who nodded back. “What are you doing here?”

“I needed a walk,” I said, “he’s being impossible.” Lefty raised an eyebrow and we walked a little further down the beach. “He was picking a fight.”

“About what?” He asked. “The only thing you’ve ever done wrong as far as he’s concerned is sleep with other men and he knows better than to pick on you about that,” I looked at him. “No he obviously doesn’t,” he exhaled. “He knows he’s wrong, Annalise, it’s just,” Lefty shrugged, “he’s a Prince of Phania, women of a certain class are supposed to behave a certain way and you don’t.” I nodded. “And he’s jealous.”

“There’s nothing to be jealous of,” I said. Lefty looked at me0.0

“I don’t mean of the other men, although he is,” he exhaled, “he’s jealous of your nature,” I looked at him. “That you can love others, that your heart is big enough for them and him. He’s not like that, and he worries that he won’t be enough.” I looked down. “Be patient with him, he’ll get there.” I sighed.

“He didn’t have to start talking about tavern girls,” I muttered, “as if I didn’t know he basically had an open door policy into his bedroom,” I crossed my arms. Lefty looked at me. “I cared very deeply about Harran and we were trying to make it work because it would have suited both of our people and I loved Prior. It’s not the same.”

“I am not the person to have this fight with,” he said. I exhaled, “I’ve been having it with him as your proxy for four years.” I laughed at that. “He stayed this time, it’s an improvement.” I smiled, that was true.

“Raymond and Evan have asked to be married,” I said softly, “do you think arranging it will be too much for her?” He grinned.

“I think you asking her will cheer her up,” he said softly. “And she’ll be honest if it’s too much.” I nodded and we walked back.

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Termination

Note: So, here’s the thing, early early in my notes, I knew that Marina was going to get pregnant by Brayton, and in drafts before a year or so ago, she was going to miscarry. But at the moment, it feels very important to me that she chooses to end the pregnancy. Abortion is healthcare, and too many people who need it are denied it. If you can, donate to a local abortion fund, help women stay safe, healthy, and free: https://abortionfunds.org/find-a-fund/

Marina

Arriving in Brightcoast feels like the sun has banished the last of the grey clouds settled in my mind and then seeing my father it was like a thousand suns crashing through. I ran to him.

“Oh Rina,” he whispered.

“You’re so bright,” I said. “Your aura.” He smiled.

“I’ll explain it all, I swear,” he said, and cupped my cheek. “For now let me be glad you’re safe and home.” I hugged him.

Not safe yet. The voice, the one that stayed with me cackles. The part of me that stayed sane is now crazy. That’s the only way I can explain it. But Nika made the potion, tonight it will be done.

“It will be like when you bleed monthly,” she explained as we settled into my room in The Manor, where we’d spent so many nights together. “But with some more pain.” I nodded. “Are you sure?”

“Are you trying to talk me out of it?” I asked.

“No,” Nika said. “But it’s not my decision. Brea always makes sure. She’s better at this sort of thing.” I kissed her softly.

“I’m glad it’s you and not Brea,” I whispered, “she’d probably yell at me.” Nika laughed.

“I’ll stay with you the whole time, if you like,” she said.

“Nika,” I whispered, “why have you been staying with me?”

“Because I love you,” she said, “even if we aren’t going to be together, even if I know we’re all wrong, my love isn’t going to go away. It will change, but I’ll always love you.” I nodded. “Now,” she said softly and handed me one cup. “This is the one that will pull the growing seed from you,” I swallowed, “and this,” the one she was holding, “will put you to sleep while it happens. Not everyone uses the second, but the first few hours, as I understand, can be very painful.”

“I’ll sleep,” I whispered. I didn’t want to think about it, I just wanted it done. I sipped down the first potion, it was bitter but not unpalatable, and then took the second and slipped under into dreamless inky black.

I woke up stretched feeling a little groggy and sore. I looked over and saw Damian sitting in a chair.

“Where’s Nika?” I asked.

“She went to get something to eat and sleep a little,” he said gently, “but she wanted someone to watch you in case there was too much blood.” I looked down, the sheets were soaked.

“And you know what too much is?” I asked him. He smiled softly.

“Yes,” he said softly. I thought about his life and realized this probably wasn’t the first time he’d been through this. I didn’t ask, four years ago I would have. Now I didn’t care, it didn’t matter. “Let’s clean you up a bit.” I swallowed and stood up, I flinched when he reached for me. I hated that. I didn’t want to. I wanted to fall into him, to let him hold me and soothe me.

And I could see he wanted to, but I was still too skittish, something in me still unhealed. He walked me to my tub, which was full and smelled heavenly I stepped into it.

“Damian,” I said gently, and he took my hand and squeezed it. “You pulled me off him.”

“He was pretty good and dead,” he laughed, “I don’t think more stabbing would have done much.” I smiled. “He didn’t hurt you, though?”

“Not really,” I whispered, “he was cruel, mean. But physically,” I exhaled, “he pampered me, mostly.” He nodded. I could see that he knew I was hedging, but I couldn’t talk about the hurt yet, his hands too tight on my wrists, how raw I would feel between my legs in the mornings, the bruises on my buttocks, and thighs, the bites on my breasts, and how there was the deep broken part of me that liked it, “I need to see Tristan at some point,” I mumbled. I knew he’d hate that. But I also knew Tristan would see, that I wouldn’t have to explain it.

“He’ll come,” Lefty whispered, “after the baby.” I looked at him. “Or we can go there, the house is very pleasant.” I laughed for what felt like the first time in my life. “Is something funny?”

“You stayed in their house?” I said in disbelief. “And you two didn’t kill one another?” He grinned.

“No love,” he said softly. “I might say we’re friends now, even.” I looked at him skeptically. “Not good friends, but something like how Eric feels about Harran.”

“I see,” I whispered. I didn’t tell him about how Brayton had broken me, that it had been my connection to Tristan that did it. “Damian,” I whispered. “How did you know? About the blood?” He looked away. “Your mother?”

“Even after she,” he sighed, “well, she married my father, it wasn’t as though she was still,” he shook his head, “but she had friends and if there was trouble, her word,” I smiled, “they’d stay with us, if they needed to.”

“I thought maybe,” I sighed, “there was someone, before.” He laughed.

“I’ve always been very careful,” he said, “my father practically beat it into me. If I was going to be a scoundrel I was to be safe about it, and not put some poor girl in danger.” I looked at him. “But yes, I’ve seen what the sheets look like.” I exhaled. “How are you feeling?”

“Strange,” I whispered. “Tired,” he nodded. “Damian, can you kiss me?” He knelt down beside me and kissed me softly.

“I was waiting for you to ask,” he said, “you seem to not want me to touch you.” I sighed.

“I don’t know why,” I said, “when I think about it, it’s all I want, but then you go to and,” I shivered. “Maybe it will be better now.”

“Maybe,” he said, “but you do need to heal. There’s no rush.” He kissed me gently again, this time I opened my mouth and tasted him. After he pulled back we sat happily in silence while I continued to wash. “I’m going to change the sheets, and then we’ll put you back to bed.” I smiled. “I won’t have Nika angry at me for your care being neglected.” I smiled again and when I got out of the tub, I wrapped myself in a towel before finding a nightgown and pulling it over my head. I curled up in the fresh bed.

“Lay with me?” I asked. He smiled and did so. I fell asleep in his arms.

Safe.

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