Note: Y’all, it’s Bridgerton Week! Which means I’ve been thinking in those terms and I just couldn’t help but spit out this little interlude about Caro’s debut. I also have felt like I wanted to flush out her and Alex’s friendship for a little while…

Carolina

I tugged at my dress as she stood in front of the guild hall. Mama had decided on a deep blue, trimmed in gold, and my hair was pinned up in a pile that felt like it was weighing me down.

“Stop fidgeting,” Mama said sharply and I swallowed and made myself still, like the stone reliefs around us. “I thought they were coming.” She sounded let down. I looked around the room. Most everyone we knew was here. Even people I knew didn’t like me very much, mostly here to speak with Papa of course, and some to get a peak at Emily.

I knew the truth, Emily was our family’s actual great hope, not me. But I’m older so I’ll do what I have to do for now.

“Who?” I asked her. She glanced at me and frowned. “Oh,” I sighed, “them, well, Alex said they were coming,” I muttered.

“All of them?” She asked. I shrugged. I had no idea why The DuManis hadn’t appeared and Alex had promised. Though whether that meant simply him and his mother and father, I couldn’t say. “Smile, Caro, honestly,” she exhaled, “you’d think you were being tortured.” I did my best to smile. Emily was standing off to the side with one of the Dutrin boys, carefully wrapping her hair around her finger and smirking. “Will he propose?”

“Mama!” I said sharply. “We’re friends, he’s mentioned other things, but,” she looked down, “I don’t know.” She sighed.

“It would be a good thing, Carolina, you must know that,” she softened her voice. “Think how pleased your father would be.” I nodded. Yes, marrying Alex, becoming Madame DuCray, eventually inheriting main control of The DuManis family interests, that would please him.

There were a thousand reasons why it was unlikely to happen, not least of which among them is that I’m reasonably sure Alex doesn’t look at me that way, and I know that’s not how I see him. I like Alex. He’s pleasant. But anything beyond that feels like a foreign country.

“She has to dance eventually,” Papa walked over. “What is the delay?” I bit my bottom lip.

“We’re waiting on the DuCray boy,” Mama said simply. “Is there anyone else?”

“New captain,” he muttered, “doesn’t signify, not if Alex is coming.” I nodded and the chamber doors opened, and they walked in, all of them.

The DuManis were stunning, when they put on a show, the whole city knew it. Lead by Chancellor Carland DuManis, the old man leaned only lightly against his cane, his blue and gold tunic striking, behind him were his three surviving children, their spouses and following after that the grandchildren. I smiled as they walked up, genuinely this time, as Alex had met my eye and winked.

“Miss DuKarras,” The Old Man stepped forward and took my hand and kissed it. “Congratulations,” I smiled gently.

“Thank you, Chancellor,” I said demurely. “It’s a great honor for you to have come, and quite unexpected.”

“Oh I doubt that,” Trey DuManis winked. “Tonight’s festivities were quite the discussion all week, Alex wouldn’t stop talking about it.” I was genuinely concerned Mama might swoon, and I felt my cheeks flush as Alex stepped up, all sandy blond hair and overly pleased with himself smile. I scrunched my nose at him.

“Missstress DuKarras,” he kissed my hand.

“Master DuCray,” I smirked back. “You’re late.”

“My apologies,” he said, “they love to make an entrance,” he whispered. I laughed and took his hand as the music started. “My mother is going to speak to your father.”

“Alex,” I said cautiously. He smiled congenially. “Are you sure?” He nodded.

“We both have to marry, Caro,” he said, “wouldn’t you rather be with a friend?” I exhaled. He wasn’t wrong of course. But the idea made my heart stop, being absorbed into the machine that was merchant life’s heart, The DuManis Family.

Six Months Later

I sat opposite the new one. I hadn’t bothered learning his name, he was Rastani, with cool blue eyes and straight blonde hair that he’d combed back. At least he was under forty, which was an improvement. Emily was pouting because Alex had left for Dovetail and I didn’t know how to tell her that I missed him too.

“What do you think, Miss DuKarras?” The suitor met her eyes with a satisfied smirk. “Do you think your girl queen is going to awaken a new age?”

“I’m sure it’s all very interesting,” I covered, with a sly smirk. “Though it will be strange, having a queen my own age.”

“Younger actually,” Papa pointed out. “You’re eighteen, Caro, the queen is seventeen.” I nodded. Another reminder that another year had gone by.

“Captain Arrain,” Mama asked, “do you plan to return to Rastan soon?”

“I had hoped to stay here in Dorin, actually,” he said, meeting my eyes. “As long as you’d have me.” I blushed a little.

After dinner I was sitting in the courtyard, Emily had dramatically taken to bed, and I wasn’t interested in going to comfort her. The quiet made a nice change.

“May I?” Captain Arrain walked out and sat with me. I nodded. “I’m glad to get to spend more time with you.” I eyed him and smirked.

“My father likes you, Captain Arrain,” I assured him, “you’ll get your contract without pushing for my good opinion.” He chuckled.

“No one mentioned you were clever,” he said, my heart beat. “I knew you were beautiful.”

“I’m not,” I shook my head. I was pleasant. There were beauties in Dorin, I wasn’t one of them.

“I was at your debut,” he said, “I knew then, I had to have you.” I blinked at him and he kissed me.

“Alex was courting me then,” I said. He shrugged.

“I was patient,” he said, “I waited out the Dumanis.” I smiled. We kissed again.

“Andrei,” I mumbled.

“Carolina,” Mama walked out and I drew back. “I think you ought to get to bed.”

“Yes Mama,” I said softly looking over my shoulder at him, Mama did not look pleased. He smiled at me.

He stayed with us two more nights, which was odd, the third day, I was walking past Papa’s office when I heard them arguing.

“I don’t like it,” Mama insisted. “He has nothing! She can do better.”

“She had one suitor who then went to Emily,” Papa said back. “It is done, Portia, Caro will marry Captain Arrain.” I smiled, I was wondering when he would propose. Would he take me to Rastan? I rushed to bed and lay down, hoping to dream of my handsome captain husband. The door clicked open.

“Emily?” I asked, but then I saw Andrei’s face lit by a candle.

“A disappointment?” He teased and walked over and sat down, pushed my hair out of my face.

“You shouldn’t be here,” I mumbled and he kissed me gently. “Andrei, my parents.”

“Sweet one,” he laughed and kissed my neck, pushing my nightgown off my parents, “your father has agreed to our marriage.” I gasped as his hand moved down.

“Andrei,” i whimpered, “when we’re married, will you take me away?” He laughed and pressed me under him.

“Anywhere you like,” he murmured, pushing my nightgown up. “First home, though,” I bit my bottom lip. “You’ll love Rastan City, my beauty, it will fall at your feet.” He pressed into me. It hurt a little, but it was mostly, pleasant. “Oh Carolina,” he groaned. I closed my eyes tightly as he thrust into me. It didn’t feel like it was described in Emily’s books, or when I touched myself. There was no explosion of pleasure, no wave of overwhelming joy. It was vaguely pleasant, and Andrei seemed to be enjoying himself. After he finished he kissed me gently and held me throughout the night.

A few weeks passed, and I knew Andrei was in with my father, dealing with our contract, and at night he would come into my room and whisper that he loved me, that we would go to Rastan and he would make his fortune.

He left to get things settled. I begged him to take me with him. I didn’t need the whole society wedding, I just wanted him, to be his wife.

Instead I waited, and no word came. And I realized it was over.