Tag: seeing

Dorin

Marina

I was standing in a parlor at the Dumanis Manor, batting a fan against my hand. I hadn’t been in Dorin since Emily and Alex’s wedding and having to stay here longer than a few days to kiss rings was making me anxious. Anya Norvine had shown us to our rooms and made it clear she was happy for our company but did not require it, which I appreciated.

We did not get so lucky with Carland Dumanis, who “kindly extended an invitation to dinner,” a week after our arrival. Tristan walked in and saw us.

“Thank Cornan,” he mumbled. “Uncle Trey thinks we’ll have a ship tomorrow.” I looked at him gratefully.

“Why the delay?” Raymond asked. Tristan shrugged.

“Because it’s my grandfather,” he said, “and the world is his to command.” I looked at him. “Mostly he was trying to convince me to bring Caro back here when we return.”

“Will you?” Evan asked him. Tristan sent him a glare. “So, no?”

“No,” I said. “I think the only person who hates Dorin more than Carolina is Athena.” Tristan sighed. “Has it been awful?”

“No,” he smiled at me. “My aunts and Charlotte have been keeping people away, for the most part. I barked at some poor apprentice when he asked after Athena’s health so I think that ended any thoughts of socializing.”

“Why?” Evan said. “Surely most people are curious about Athena’s health these days.”

“We’re not supposed to let any of the Dumanis know anything about Calla or the new baby,” I explained. “Athena doesn’t trust the old man to not manipulate the situation.”

“This all makes me feel like my family is functional,” Evan muttered.

“Oh the Dumanis make me feel like my family is functional,” Raymond grinned. “And I’m reasonably sure they’re all trying to murder one another regularly.” I laughed. They were trying to relax me and I was grateful for it. Tristan looked at me.

“Marina,” he whispered. “I promise we’ll leave as soon as we can.” I nodded. The doors of the parlor opened and Trey Dumanis walked in.

“Duchess,” he smiled. I smiled back at him as he took my hand and kissed it. “A pleasure to see you again. I think it’s been far too long.”

“I agree,” I said. “We all missed you this winter.” He smiled.

“How is your father?” He asked gently. I looked down. Papa’s mind was so far afield lately, I shouldn’t be surprised he hadn’t written to Trey, but it still hurt me to realize it. “I’m sorry.”

“He has his days,” I smiled. “But they are fewer and farther between.” He looked at Raymond next.

“Mastero, I hope the books I sent Caro were appropriate.” He smiled.

“They were much appreciated,” Raymond said. Evan grinned. “No one else thought to give gifts.”

“You were the first Mastero to take vows in a generation,” I objected. “No one knew what was appropriate and Caro thinks we’re all insane for not giving gifts when someone breaks wind.” Trey laughed.

“Ah, I see we’ve settled in,” Carland joined us. “Duchess,” he took and kissed my hand.

“Chancellor,” I said. “Thanking you for having us. Duchess Norvine was not feeling well, she sends her regrets.” He raised an eyebrow.

“Of course,” he said, “Mastero Quents, Lord Allred,” he bowed. Evan and Raymond returned it. “Now, what is this rush you and my grandson have to get to Rastan?” I swallowed.

“King Raniere has offered me a marriage proposal,” I said simply. “I’m afraid I must answer him in person.” Carland looked startled.

“That would shift things,” he said. I nodded. “Will you accept him?”

“Grandfather,” Tristan said warningly.

“It’s alright,” I said. “The Queen has told me I’m under no obligation to do so, but may if I like.” It’s the truth, after all, even if she was joking. I smiled.

“But surely as her heir, she can’t have you linked to another throne,” he said with a smirk, “unless there’s been a change.”

“No,” Tristan and Raymond said at the exact same time.

“My cousin Captain Chastain and the Queen are announcing their intention to marry, when they return to Dovetail,” Evan came in smoothly. I exhaled a smile at him. “With her own marriage settled and children likely coming, I believe Duchess Marina will have a good deal more freedom.”

“Of course,” Carland said. “A disappointment for us of course. We had high hopes for our Calla.” I smirked.

“I’d hardly call Countess of Pantona a lacking prize, Father,” Trey said. I smiled. But I wanted to scream. We were talking politics and petty gossip while two days sail away my enemy was sitting in wait like a spider.

“Excuse me,” I said and stood up, “I think I need some air.” I walked out and pressed against the rail of a terrace.

“Marina,” Tristan came out and found me after a while. “I’m sorry, I know this is torture.” I closed my eyes as he wrapped his arms around me. “Have you been Dreaming?” I swallowed and looked at him.

“I wish I had been,” I said softly. “Then I’d know something, but instead it’s all dark. I’m afraid to meditate, I’m afraid I’ll see Amina again.” He planted a kiss on my forehead. It was so comforting. It would be so easy, here, away from everyone, to have each other. He senses it too.

“Rina,” he whispered. “What do you want?”

“If I said you,” I whispered back, “what would your answer be?” He looked at me.

“No,” he said, “but I also don’t think you’re really asking.” I swallowed. “Oh Marina, what good would come of that?” I sighed and stepped away, “it isn’t that I don’t want you, you know that.” I smiled.

“I crave it, sometimes,” I admitted, “your touch, your eyes on me. Nika saw all of it, and she finally couldn’t take it anymore.” I looked down. “That night we were together was the most selfish I’ve been in my life.” He looked at me. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, because I’m so afraid I’ll be selfish again.”

“Rina,” he said softly.

“If it comes down to Damian or the world, I don’t know that I’ll choose the world, Tristan,” I swallowed. “I don’t know that I can.” He held me close.

“It won’t come to that,” he whispered. “I won’t let it.” I swallowed. “This is my job remember?”

“Annalise is your job,” I said. He cupped my face.

“She told me to protect you,” he whispered. “So right now, that’s my job.” I let him hold me. But I realized he didn’t understand. Because he’s never had to make this choice. No one else ever has, and I chose the world and Annalise once.

And I couldn’t, wouldn’t, do it again.

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Andrei

Carolina

I was sitting in the parlor of the apartment. I was still a little overwhelmed by the luxury of life here. It made Dorin feel simple, and Dorin made Dovetail feel like hovel. I was longing for my quiet, comfortable life in Pantona. My little house, and garden, my long talks with William, and watching Calla run through the wheat.

William.

I hadn’t thought of him in so long, my friend, my lover, the only person who saw me. I’d been so unfair to him, used him so awfully.

“Lady Dugarry?” I looked up from the book I was attempting and failing to read, and saw Princess Karina and Lady Katrin standing before me. I smiled at them. Everyone staying in the palace seemed to appreciate the sheer warmth and light these two girls seemed to bring into every room they entered. The Princess was exceptionally lovely. I’d never seen her mother, but had heard her compared to Marina a few times, but I didn’t think they were much alike. Karina was darker and softer than my friend. Katrin, however, shared her older brother’s sharpness and sly good looks, I think if she hadn’t been handed over to mind her cousin, she’d be quite the trouble maker. In some ways they reminded me of me and Emily. “I’m sorry to disturb you.”

“Not at all, Your Highness,” I said. Karina smiled shyly. “What can I do for you?”

“There are a few ships that entered harbor today,” Katrin said quickly. I nodded.

“Merchant ships, mostly,” Karina explained, “and a market set up on the docks.”

“Really, just some stalls,” Katrin said, “but news from everywhere, and shopping and food and well,” she sighed. “We’d like to go.”

“I see,” I nodded. “And what is stopping you?”

“Well,” Karina explained, “we really aren’t allowed to go alone.”

“And my brother claims to be too busy,” Katrin said, “though with what, I haven’t the slightest idea. And he suggested we ask you to come with us.” I laughed at that. “We understand if you don’t want to.”

“But we thought you might like news from Cammadan as much as we would from Phania,” Princess Karina explained. “And well,” she looked down a little ashamed.

“And I’m a merchant and know my way around,” I finished. The princess looked at me and nodded. “Of course I will take you.” They smiled broadly. “But Lady Katrin, I insist you tell your brother while I change into something appropriate, I’ll meet you at the gates.”

“Oh Damian won’t,” Katrin went to speak, and Karina elbowed her. “Of Course, my lady, thank you.” They giggled their way out and I shook my head.

I went to my wardrobe. It was the first time in a long time I realized I’d be a representative of a Cammadie merchant family as well as The Dugarrys. I landed on green wool gown and a fur cloak. I hurried to the palace gates where Princess Karina and Lady Katrin were waiting. Captain Lestoff was with them.

“Captain,” I smiled, “I had been told you could not spare the time.” He shook his head.

“My schedule opened up,” he said. Lady Katrin let out an annoyed huff and rolled her eyes. He offered his arm and I took it. He was up to something. “They’d never have invited you if I hadn’t said they had to, and the thought of shopping with them alone terrified me.” I smiled.

“You could have simply asked.” I pointed out. He smirked at me. “Goddess, poor Marina, she must have been putty in your hand.”

“Don’t tease me about Marina,” he said. “To be honest seeing you every evening is the only time I’ve felt warmly towards Tristan, he was in Dorin a whole twenty minutes before they put you in front of him? I’d have spent every minute chasing you too.” I wrinkled my nose at him. We reached the docks and watched the girls scurry. “Kat!” He called out, and sighed.

“They’ll be fine,” I said. “Honestly a makeshift dock market is too hastily organized to be much danger to them.” He sighed.

“Lady Dugarry!” A voice called from a table. I smiled and walked over. Ralph DuParin was a friend of my father’s I’d known since I was very small. “My, how our little Caro has grown.”

“Master DuParin,” I smiled. “May I introduce Captain Damian Lestoff,” I said. Lefty smiled. “Master DuParin used to bring my sister and me chocolate from up here when we were little.”

“Your mother asked me to look for you or Madame DuCray,” he bowed. “I may tell her you’re well?”

“Yes,” I said, “Emily and I are both quite well.” He smiled. “You’ll excuse us?” We continued on. Lefty eventually found the girls and I wandered a bit. I stopped at one stall and bought a lemon, the merchant claimed it was from Pantona, and even if he was lying, just holding it made me feel better.

“Caro,” I turned and inhaeld, “I mean Lady Dugarry.” In four years, Andrei Arrain had barely changed. His light hair was brushed back, and his cool dark eyes pierced mine.

“Captain Arrain,” I said softly. He exhaled.

“Just Master Arrain, now,” he said softly. “I no longer have a ship.” I nodded. “I had heard you were in the city. And alone.” I stepped past him but he followed me. “Caro,” he whispered, taking my waist.

“I’m not alone,” I said sharply stepping away. “Emily and Alex came with me.” He exhaled.

“I meant, your husband is not here,” he said. “Caro, come see me. Even I’ve heard that you’re not happy, and I think I could,” I glared at him and was grateful as Lefty came quickly to my side at that.

“Lady Dugarry, Princess Karina is quite ready to return if you are.” He said. “Damian Lestoff,” He extended his hand.

“Andrei Arrain,” He said. “I trust you’re enjoying Rastan?”

“I’ve been here many times,” Lefty said. “You’re from here? I think I remember seeing you in Brightcoast when Lady Dugarry and her husband came there before their marriage.”

“May I call on you at the palace?” Andrei asked me. I nodded, not wanting to prolong this. “Captain,” He nodded to Lefty, and he bowed.

“Rana be praised you were saved from that one,” he said as we found Katrin and Karina, both carrying canvas bags full of parcels and gigglin. “When I saw him in the Brightcoast ballroom it was shocking since I’d only known him from brothels before.” I looked at him. “I don’t pretend to be virtuous, Carolina, but I am faithful to Marina.” I smiled.

“He maintains that he’s actually my husband legally, if you can believe it,” I said. “My father sides with him too. I think if Tristan weren’t Carland Dumanis’s grandson, I’d be stuck with him.”

“It’s funny,” he said, “my father marrying Aimee changed the course of my whole life,” he said, “I would have lived very comfortably, I think drinking myself into a stupor and collecting from my father’s business until he made me pursue someone respectable. Like say, the charming daughter of a wealthy and upcoming merchant family.” I laughed.

“Well, if that was your plan, if we’d have met incidentally, my father would have deeply approved,” I shrugged, “so long as you agreed to pay.” He smiled.

“Yes, in another life, I think I would have very much enjoyed being reformed by you,” he teased. I smirked.

“I repeat my earlier assertion,” I said. “Marina had no defenses against you, it was unfair.” He smiled and leaned close to me.

“When I made my intentions to Marina known,” he said, “and told her to run in the other direction, she reminded me that Brayton forfeit his soul for her, your husband had betrayed the queen for her, William Santino declared her the most beautiful woman to ever live and she was running a kingdom,” I smirked at him. “She was well armed.” I smiled.

“Lady Dugarry,” Princess Karina walked over and slid her arm through mine, “do you know Queen Annalise well?” I looked back at Lefty.

“Reasonably,” I said. “Why do you ask?” She sighed.

“My mother insists she is my ally,” she explained, “and obviously my Uncle, Prince Eric, has his opinions. But my father thinks she’s untrustworthy.”

“If I can set your mind at all at ease, Your Highness,” I said gently, “if there is one thing that Queen Annalise is absolutely sure on in this world, it is that she wants you named officially as your father’s heir.” She smiled. “She suffers, daily, with the Prince’s absecence.” She smiled at me.

“I am glad to hear it.” she said. “I know that were Kristoff and I were divided now, I’d been absolutely devastated.” She sighed. “My Uncle has not taken their separation well.”

“Nor did the queen, at first,” I said gently. I had no intention of betraying Prior to the princess. I knew that Prince Eric knew about him, but I didn’t know how far that extended. “But four years is a long time.” She nodded.

“I think it is harder on my uncle that Captain Lestoff is so stalwart,” she said. I looked at her. “Is Duchess Marina truly so wonderful? He was so wild before.”

“I don’t know if it is that Marina is so wonderful,” I said, “though she is, well,” I sighed, “it’s difficult to explain when you haven’t met her,” she looked at me, “but she’s equally as dedicated to him. Even her relationship with Lady Nika was always conditional on his return.” She looked at me.

“And what can you tell me about Lord Evan Allred?” She asked. “My Uncle Raymond was my closest companion until he went away and they gave me Kat. At home they talk like he’s a demon.”

“Evan is the best of the nobility in Cammadan,” I said softly. “Besides my brother in law, obviously,” she laughed. “His father is the worst of them.” She nodded. “But your Uncle Raymond is a dear friend to me as well, and he worries about you constantly.” She beamed at that.

“I love his letters,” she admitted, “I felt I knew you before we met because of them.” She sighed. “Kat is more wary because of how Lefty and Uncle Eric feel about Sir Tristan.” I sighed. “I’m sorry, is it difficult for you?” I looked at her.

“It’s complicated,” I said gently. She smiled. “But I’m glad we’re friends, Your Highness. Your Uncle Raymond will be glad too, I promise you.” She sighed.

“I hope he’s proud of me,” she said softly. I thought of Prior for a moment, and how he spoke about how much Annalise carried, I saw the same weight sitting on Karina. She brightened as we reached the palace gates and Kristoff was waiting.

“Princess,” he grinned at her. She smiled. “Lady Dugarry,” he said, “a guest came for you, we sent him to your parlor.”

“Thank you, your highness,” I curtsied. “Princess Karina,” I nodded to her.

“Kat,” Lefty looked at his sister and the prince and princess scampered off. She groaned and followed them. “Do you want me to come with you?” I looked at him softly.

“I’ll be alright,” I said, “but thank you.” I walked back to my suite and Andrei stood up quickly. “I don’t know how many more ways I can tell you this is over for me.”

“Caro,” he mumbled, stepping closer to me and lifting my face. “You never heard me out.”

“You left me,” I reminded him, “and then humiliated me. And you did the second one at the behest of my father because he didn’t get his way.”

“I loved you,” he said, “what was I supposed to do? I was penniless and stranded and then The Dumanis were throwing an heir at you.” I rolled my eyes and pulled away.

“You were gone for months before anyone introduced me to Tristan and I hadn’t heard a word from you,” I said. “And that doesn’t excuse the challenge.” He frowned. “If you loved me, why would you,” I choked back a sob. “I can’t go home, Andrei, because of you. Because you made me a scandal.” He nodded.

“I don’t suppose there’s any point in telling you I could give it to you now,” he said, his voice sad. “I have a good business here, a house,” he sighed. “Asking you to stay when they call you back.” I glared at him.

“Even if I wanted to, which I do not,” I squared my shoulders. “I couldn’t.” He stared at me. “I’m pregnant.” I couldn’t believe he was the first person I was telling. More humiliation.

“I see,” he whispered. “So it’s over then.” I swallowed.

“Andrei, it was over years ago,” I said.

“I’m sorry to have bothered you, then.” He left and I collapsed on the couch, my hand on my middle. I prayed that Tristan arrived soon, we’d received word they were on their way, but nothing since. I couldn’t even go to a healer because I didn’t trust anyone. I was alone.

“I saw him go,” the door creaked open and Katrin walked in. “Who is he?”

“A mistake I made when I was your age,” I smiled at her. She blushed. “Shouldn’t you be with Karina?”

“They don’t need me for what they’re doing,” she shrugged. I laughed. “I can’t wait until they’re married and I can have a life again.”

“Marina says your brothers used to talk about you coming to Cammadan,” I said. She rolled her eyes.

“Like everyone else, my brothers assume I want what they want,” she said and collapsed on the couch. I nodded.

“What do you want?” I asked. She sighed.

“Something exciting,” she said, “an adventure.” I nodded. “I’d really like a ship of my own but girl’s aren’t allowed, not in Phania.” I smirked at her.

“Perhaps that’s why they want to bring you to Cammadan,” I shrugged. She smirked.

“Perhaps,” she said.

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Siblings

Athena

I sat watching Calla run around chasing a butterfly. I was trying so hard to not just hold her tight to me. It was irrational. Brayton wasn’t here, he was across a sea. He couldn’t hurt her, and she was blissfully unaware of who he was, and what if any threat he was to her.

“Do you want to go?” Aaron asked, sitting next to me. I looked at him and I shook my head. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I whispered. “It’s not my fight.” He nodded. “She gets to be so free.” I rested my head on his shoulder.

“When are Tristan and Rina leaving?” He asked.

“Soon,” I sighed, “tomorrow, I think. Raymond and Evan are going with them too.”

“Quite the party,” he mumbled. I laughed. “Thena,” he whispered. “What if it is your fight?”

“I’m supposed to be here,” I said. “I know it. I can’t explain why, but,” he nodded.

“Mama,” Calla ran over to me, “what’s wrong?” I smiled at her.

“Nothing Duck,” I said and gathered her too me. “I’m going to miss Uncle Tristan is all.” She nestled her face next to mine.

“Oh, I’ll miss him too,” she said. “I miss Aunt Caro, most I think.”

“Oh sweetheart,” I said softly. Caro was such a deep part of her life, of course she missed her. “I’m sure she misses you terribly.” She sighed.

“How is my little brother?” She asked looking up at me.

“Would you like to say hello to him?” Aaron asked. She nodded and stood up and leaned over my belly.

“Hello Baby John,” she whispered. “I love you very much, even while you’re still inside Mama.” I smiled at her.

“Come here, sweet girl,” Aaron said and hugged her. “Do you know what your job will be with your baby brother?” She scrunched her nose at him.

“I have very many jobs now Papa,” she said. I laughed.

“Yes, but this one is easy,” he assured her. “You must love him but make sure he doesn’t think he’s too important. Only a sibling can do that.” I shook my head and laughed. “He’ll do the same for you of course.”

“That doesn’t sound fun,” she pouted.

“It is though,” I assured her. She burrowed deeper into Aaron’s arms. “What did you learn with Lady Brea, yesterday?” She looked at me and sighed.

“I learned which flowers will help people sleep,” she said, “the blue ones, mixed with the yellow.” I nodded. “She said that we should plant a garden with them at home.”

“I’ll bet,” Aaron said, “that Mastero Anselm will know the perfect place.” She nodded. Tristan walked over his sack over his shoulder. “Is it time?” Aaron asked gently.

“It is,” he said, “I think Marina is going to explode.” I stood up and hugged him.

“Please don’t do anything foolish,” I said softly. He smiled.

“Me? Never.” He said. I laughed. “I’ll see you at home, Thena.” I nodded. “Calla, may I have a hug or are you too serious for that now.” She stood up a clapped him around the knees. He lifted her up and snuggled her. “I love you, Little One.”

“I love you too,” she said. “Will you tell Aunt Caro that I love her?” He smiled gently.

“Of course, Duck,” he whispered. “First thing when I see her.” I smiled at him.

“Good,” she said as he put her down and she ran back into the field. I looked at him.

“What’s the plan in Dorin?” Aaron asked.

“Evan, Raymond and Marina are going to stay with Duchess Norvine,” Tristan sighed, “I’ll be at the manor, shall I send your best Grandfather?”

“And let him choke on it,” I grinned. He smiled. “If he has anything to say about Calla,” I drifted off.

“Not a word,” Tristan shook his head. I smiled and hugged him again. “I love you.” I nodded. “Aaron,” he said.

“Be safe,” Aaron nodded. Tristan smiled and walked away. “Are you alright?”

“I hate that I’m used to it,” I sighed. “I hate that we’re apart more than we’re together now.”

“I know, Love,” he whispered and held me close. “Hopefully this is the end of that.”

Hopefully.

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Vision

Annalise

“I think you’re being too hard on them,” Aaron looked at me. I frowned.

“Rastan,” I muttered, “he’s been in Rastan for a year. Sneaky little toad.”

“Lisette,” he sighed. I looked at him. “You can’t ask Marina and Tristan to stay with you now that we know this.” I sighed.

“I know that,” I sighed, “I do, I just,” I exhaled. “We have to be careful.”

“Do we?” Athena asked from the table. “We’ve been careful. They go, we spring the trap, Marina sticks a knife in his heart, it’s done.”

“Even if it kills her?” I argued. “Or Lefty? Or Caro? Or Tristan?”

“Yes,” Athena sighed. “Did you really think we’d all come out of war alive? That isn’t how it works. I’d mourn any of them, all of them. But this has to happen.” I looked at Aaron.

“She’s right,” he said. I sighed. “Are you afraid Eric won’t forgive you?”

“What does Eric have to do with it?” I snapped. They looked at each other and sighed. “Don’t do that. Don’t do the married and in love we can read one another’s mind thing. I hate that.”

“I’m trying to come up with any reason that you think we should delay again,” Aaron shrugged, “and what came to me first is that you’re worried Eric won’t forgive you if some action you take winds up hurting Lefty. Or Lady Katrin. Or Princess Karina.” I frowned at him.

“It’s not that,” I said softly. “I don’t know what it is. I Dreamed about him, and we talked and, I was so angry.” I exhaled. “I want to be there when it happens.”

“Oh,” Athena exhaled, “well I understand that.” She paused. “You Dreamed him?” I nodded. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “Everyone’s carrying their own burdens right now, it isn’t as though there was anything productive in the Dream. No locations, or hints. Just him being frustrating.”

The folds of the tent parted and Raymond walked in. I looked at him and he smiled sadly.

“You want to go too, don’t you?” I said gently. Aaron and Athena excused themselves.

“If at all possible,” he said. I looked down. “Annalise, they’re my family, too.” I nodded.

“Of course,” I said. “Of course, you’ll go with the others, Raymond.” He nodded. “Have you seen anything, lately?”

“No,” he sighed, “I’ve felt like Karina was in danger for a while, but I could never place it, now I understand. I got a letter from her with the others, she went to comfort her beloved Kristoff in his grief.” I smiled. “This was of course the first time they actually met.”

“But they wrote letters their whole lives,” I smiled. He nodded. “When I was her age I used to plan my whole life with Eric in my mind and we’d never even had that much.” Raymond laughed.

“When Eric offered to bring me on The Glory,” Raymond smiled, “I pictured lounging in hammocks with Randolph, while we sailed into the sunset.”

“Very romantic,” I said. He shrugged. “You’ve seen her in danger?”

“A little bit like you and Marina,” he said softly, “Karina is always in danger. If my sister is to be believed, the fundamentalists are gaining even more strength, but Karina is popular, coming home with a handsome, strong husband might enrage them.”

“Of course,” I sighed. “And Eric, lately?”

“Publicly?” Raymond asked. I shrugged. “The Prince is honored by his brother’s confidence in him, beloved by all. Privately, I’m not sure he and Daniel are speaking and everyone at court knows that he supports changing the law and making Karina the heir.” I smiled.

“But why would he support such a thing?” I grinned. He laughed.

“Yes, why,” he said, “sitting on the roof in Brinecliff staring at the lights of Brightcoast when he was sixteen have nothing to do with it.” I sighed.

“Will he be there?” I asked. “In Rastan?”

“I think so,” Raymond smiled gently. “He and Raniere have always been close.” I sighed. “And once he finds out Marina’s going Lefty won’t have a leg to stand on to keep him away.” I swallowed. “What does Prior think of this whole plan?” I shrugged.

“It’s not really any of his bussiness.” I said. “Tristan wants to give him the rangers.”

“That’s worked out so well for his own marriage, I can see why he’d wish it on you two,” he teased. I sighed. “Don’t lock him out, Annalise. He’s so devoted to you.” This surprised me. “Do you think I’m betraying Eric?”

“Betraying Eric?” I smiled. “No, it’s just, it matches up with what you said before,” he raised his eyebrows. “He’s your family too.” He smiled.

“Yes,” he said softly, “I guess he is.” I smiled. “You’re going to need him. With Marina gone, I mean.” I looked at him and nodded. He was the only person I could honestly say understood how much I relied on Marina.

“Is Evan going with you?” I asked.

“With permission,” he smirked. I rolled my eyes. “I want him to meet Eric, and Karina.” I smiled.

“Of course it’s permitted,” I said, I paused. “Prior will have to take his council vote.”

“Oh,” he sighed, “what a trial for you.” I smiled.

“Evan challenges me in ways Prior won’t,” I said gently. “I love him, but he wants to please me too much.”

“Aaron will fight you tooth and nail on everything, I’m sure,” Raymond laughed. I smiled. “Annalise, when I see him, he’s going to ask, and what should I tell him?”

“The truth,” I whispered. “That I meant to wait. I wanted to wait.” He nodded.

“Alright,” he said. “Marina said if we don’t leave by dawn she’s going without us, so I think I should get some sleep.” I nodded. “Annalise, it’s going to be alright,” he said softly. I swallowed.

“I can’t lose anyone else, Raymond,” I whispered. “I can’t lost Marina or you or,” I choked on it. Tristan. A world without Tristan, even the Tristan who had to stand on the opposite side of the room from me. Who I couldn’t touch or be with, who was now rabid to get to the woman he actually loved, even if he didn’t always realize it.

“I know,” he said gently. “We’ll protect each other.” I nodded.

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Braga

Carolina

Note: Yes, two Caro Chapters in a row. Needed to for plot reasons. We’ll get back to everyone else soon!

Dinner was elaborate, which we knew to expect, but I refused to make a scene, or draw much attention to myself. Alex and Emily would do enough of that. Alex took his role as the heir to The Dumanis family seriously, and Emily took her role as his wife with delight.

They were fit in beautiful new clothes, dripping in jewelry, I was reasonably sure I’d never seen Annalise in so much. I was Lady Dugarry, a soldier’s wife, an important one, but still, and I looked the part. I was in green, of course, lightly embroidered with the Great Wheel in gold around the trim of my skirt. I wore a small diadem around my hair which I had pinned up. Mostly to appease Emily, she and Mother never had given up that fight. And I of course had the small Dugarry crest, at my throat, these days on a thin gold chain that Raymond had woven as a gift.

“Lady Dugarry,” Captain Lestoff said, breaking away from Princess Rila, who look rather grumpy about it. That was when I realized, I raised my eyebrow at him. “I’d forgotten how the jewels of Cammadan’s court shine in simple settings.” He kissed my hand.

“Flattery suits you, Captain,” I said. He smirked. “I do not think the Princess appreciates your neglect however.” He shook his head.

“Her highness is used to disappointment,” he said, he nodded towards a man with dark hair, in a simple black suit. I’d never seen Brayton in person before. When he was in power he rarely left Dovetail and never came to Dorin. It was speculated that he didn’t want to rouse The Old Man. “Do you see him?” I nodded. “I can introduce you.”

“No,” I said, “I’m sure he’ll seek me out if necessary.” He nodded.

“Damian,” a young girl with her dark hair in braids and wearing a white Rastani style dress came over. “Karina is asking when we’re going on a hunt.” She stopped.

“Princess Karina,” he corrected her. The girl rolled her eyes. I that was when I notice the resemblance. “Lady Carolina Dugarry, may I present my sister, Lady Katrin Lestoff.”

“I’m pleased to meet you,” her voice turned softer, more pleasant and curtsied to me.

“As am I,” I said, “your brother is making me a good deal less homesick.”

“My brother talks of nothing but Cammadan,” she said. This fact seemed to amuse and annoy her at the same time. “Princess Karina would like to know when we may go on a hunt.”

“That isn’t up to me, Kat,” he said. “You know that. If Prince Kristoff invites her then you can go.” She pouted.

“Can’t you tell Rila,” she started, he glared at her, “oh fine, I’ll just wander around the ice garden while Karina and Kristoff make moon eyes at each other. What a wonderful use of my time.” She stalked away. He shook his head.

“I apologize, she is,” he exhaled.

“She’s sixteen,” I smiled.

“Extremely,” he sighed, “she is extremely sixteen.” I smiled. “They are all going to think I’m trying to bed you, by the way, because of Marina I’m sure you don’t know but I have an appalling reputation.”

“I grew up in Dorin, Captain,” I said as we made out way to the center of the room, “if you think I wasn’t aware of your reputation form the moment I stepped into the Guild Hall, you’re going to be disappointed.” He laughed. “My mother wouldn’t even let us near a party you and Prince Eric were known to be attending.” He smiled. “Even if you were trying I couldn’t do that to Marina.”

“No,” he said, “nor could I.” He sipped his drink. “When we first came to Cammadan, before I met Marina, I’d made up my mind to seduce Athena.” I choked on mine.

“Oh that would have been amusing,” I said.

“Instead she flattened me in a sparring match,” he sighed. “While Aaron stood on the side laughing. That first week was humbling for me, there was this girl who I couldn’t stop thinking about and she only had eyes for someone else, and then the woman I’d come to the damned place for was engaged to a count and kicked my ass into the dirt.” I laughed. “I miss them.”

“They miss you,” I said gently.

“Lady Dugarry” Princess Rila walked over. “I hope you’ve settled in. I wanted to greet you myself but I was detained.”

“Yes, your highness, thank you, our rooms are very comfortable,” I dipped lightly. “I apologize for monopolizing Captain Lestoff, I’m afraid we’re making one another terribly nostalgic.”

“Mm,” The Princess said, “of course. Your husband is an intimate of the queen, isn’t he?” I clenched my jaw. “Did you know The Commander well, Lefty?”

“Commander Dugarry and I spent a good amount of time in each other’s company, but only incidentally,” Captain Lestoff said, “we weren’t close.” Princess Rila nodded. The was the most diplomatic way I’d ever heard someone say, I can’t stand the man.

“Ah, your highness,” Brayton, Braga, I reminded myself, floated over, “Captain, I’m afraid I don’t know this lovely creature.” I saw some of Annalise in his face, which surprised me, the same cool grey eyes, and determined set of the chin.

“Of course, Master Braga,” Princess Rila’s laugh twinkled, “May I present Lady Carolina Dugarry, the first of Queen Annalise’s entourage to arrive for the coronation.” I offered my hand and he kissed it gently.

“Lady Dugarry,” he said, “Sir John and Lady Alexia’s daughter surely?” I swallowed.

“You’re Cammadie,” I said gently. He shrugged. “They are technically my in laws, though I never knew them. My husband Sir Tristan is their son.”

“I was born in Cammadan, yes, but I haven’t seen the fields in many many years,” he smirked. “Of course, no person of information could be ignorant of your family.” I nodded. “Is Her Majesty, herself coming?”

“Queen Annalise is quite occupied by events in Westran and on the border,” I explained, “she wishes to come herself, but may not be able to. The Duchess of Brightcoast will arrive soon, most certainly.” This startled him.

“I see,” he said, “I hope we can speak of home at another time,” I smiled my most innocent debutante smile and nodded. “Your Highness, your brother craves a word.” Princess Rila nodded and followed him. I exhaled. Captain Lestoff looked at me.

“Are you alright?” He asked. I nodded.

“Athena always said he liked pretty girls,” I murmured. He nodded.

“Marina said she was fourteen the first time she realized what he wanted with her,” he sighed, “I’ve seen his eyes follow Kat a few times too.” I shook my head. The thought of it was chilling. “Mistaking you for Athena was a good trick.”

“A very good one,” I admitted. “I suppose he’s posing as an exile? Someone with magic who went travelling to get away from Brayton’s control?” He nodded. “The eyes, they’re like Annalise’s, it’s unsettling.” He nodded again.

“There are a lot of reasons why I advised Eric not to come,” he admitted, “but that might have been the main one.” He looked at me. “You really won’t tell her to stay away?”

“No,” I said, “it would be a waste of time.” I smiled at him. “Do you really expect her to not come to your rescue, Captain Lestoff? It’s like you don’t know her at all.”

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Rastan

Carolina

The trip to Dorin, visits with everyone and the quick voyage were over. I was grateful for it. I was amazed to note the changes Emily has mentioned in everything. My mother spent most of her time at Emily and Alex’s house, when Alex petitioned Geno and Trey for permission for this mission there was no lengthy debate.

And I didn’t see my father once. Not even incidentally. I was surprised as we moved into the harbor to see several Phanian ships and standing on the dock, what I assumed was a few members of the royal family and guard waiting for us.

“That’s Prince Nikolai,” Alex said to me, “he’s the third child, second son.” I nodded. The Old King had ten children, nine sons. Raniere, Princess Rila, Nikolai, and Kristoff were the ones old enough to be in public life at this point. Armand, Galen, Gregor, Albert and twins Richard and Mikhail were still considered too young, though we were likely to see them at some point.

“Lady Dugarry,” Prince Nikolai said and took my hand and kissed it as I curtsied after getting off the ship. Alex looked at him. “Master Ducray, Madame DuCray, Rastan is happy to receive you.”

“Thank you, Your Highness,” I swallowed and he smiled at me. “Her Majesty is glad you were able to receive us early.”

“Of course,” he said and we began walking. “We are sorry your husband is not with you.”

“Commander Dugarry has many responsibilities,” I explained. I glanced at the harbor. “There are several Phanian ships.”

“Ah,” The Prince frowned, “yes, we thought that might alarm you. The Princess Karina has come with her household. She is betrothed to my younger brother, and apparently begged her father to allow her to console him. She has been a great help to Kristoff.” I nodded.

“The Princess,” Emily said softly. “Not Prince Eric.”

“No,” Nikolai said, he sounded disappointed. “Not the Prince, it’s unfortunate as he and my brother were once quite close.” We arrived to the palace and were escorted to a small parlor. “I will see if you rooms are ready.”

“Thank you,” I said. He disappeared. Emily frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” she scrunched her face, “doesn’t it feel odd?”

“That’s just Rastan,” Alex said. “It’s so bleak here it makes Dorin look like Brightcoast. Goddess, no wonder my father left.” I shook my head at him and laughed. But Emily was right something did feel off here. Like everything was unsettled.

Annalise has told me to look sharply and carefully. Four Phanian ships, Eric wasn’t here, and a strange chill in the air.

“Oh I’m sorry,” someone entered the parlor. I stood up and smiled. Damian Lestoff was unchanged from the week or so I’d known him in Brightcoast. “Lady Dugarry,” he said, wide eyed.

“I think you can call me Carolina, Lieutenant,” I said. He laughed.

“It’s Captain, now, actually,” he said, “and Lefty, to you.” I nodded and shook his hand. “They mentioned a contingent was coming before Annalise, and I thought,” I swallowed and cut him off before he could finish that thought. Of course he’d hoped Marina was with us.

“I’m being rude, this is my sister, Madame DuCray and my brother in law,” I said gesturing to Emily and Alex, he shook both of their hands. “You were promoted! Marina never said.” His smile faltered a little. “She’ll be so glad you’re here. She’s been so worried!”

“She is coming, then?” He asked. I nodded.

“Of course,” Alex frowned. “She wasn’t able to leave The Queen while they were in Westran but she’ll come as soon as she can.” Lefty closed his eyes and shook his head.

“She can’t come here,” he said softly, “it isn’t safe for her.” I frowned at him. “Is your husband here?”

“No,” I said, “I don’t think Tristan is planning to come at all. He’s leaving his regiment soon and needs to tie up loose ends.” He swore.

“He’d have understood at least,” he muttered. “I came to protect my sister and the princess,” he looked at me. “It’s why we wouldn’t let Eric come,” he sighed. “Lady Dugarry, Marina cannot come to Rastan.”

“Why not?” I asked, not indignant on her behalf. If he were trying to avoid her that was a fool’s errand.

“Because Lord Brayton is here, serving as a court advisor to Raniere,” he said. “He’s using an alias, he calls himself Braga, but it’s Brayton.”

I stared at him. That was the feeling. The dark and chill was the same as that night in Brightcoast, when Brayton tried to take Marina.

“You’re sure?” Alex said, looking horrified. We all grew up under Brayton’s regime, the fear and lack of security didn’t effect us as much as others. The guilds protected us, but we weren’t untouched.

“It’s hard to forget the man who tried to drag your soul into darkness.” Lefty said sharply. “It’s why I stopped writing to Marina, it’s nearly killed me, but I couldn’t,” he swallowed, “if he knew that she and I were still,” I rested my hand on his and calmed him. “I won’t risk her safety.”

“Of course,” I said gently. “Alex, do you have any way of getting word of this back home without anyone knowing?” He raised his eyebrows at me. “I’m sorry that was insulting, of course you do.”

“Obviously,” he said, “it was a pleasure, Captain, but I have business to attend to,” he kissed me on the cheek. “Caro,” he embraced Emily. “Emily, be safe.” She nodded and kissed him.

“You’re an interesting group,” He said and crossed his arms. Emily scoffed at him. “I’m shocked Dugarry allowed it.” I shook my head and stood up and went to the mantle.

“You have a very skewed idea of who my husband is,” I said, “do you honestly think he grew up beside Athena and believes he has any say over what the women in his life do to protect Cammadan?” He shook his head.

“There is a difference between a twin sister being Cornan’s own champion and your wife being a spy,” he grinned, “but I see your point.”

“Merchant girls make excellent spies,” Emily said cheerfully, “we’re raised to ingratiate ourselves and trust no one on first glance.” He laughed. Then he looked at me.

“How is she?” He asked softly. I looked at him.

“She’s fine,” I said, “sad, and tired. She’s often frustrated that they haven’t made more progress on the mandate, but she’s well enough.” He closed his eyes and nodded. “You could come back with us. Even for a short time, Alex’s network is,”

“No,” he said, “no, if I go back, if I’m with her again, it has to be forever, I’d never survive leaving her again.” I looked at him and nodded. I wondered if he knew. If he knew that four years ago, in her devastation Marina had taken my husband into her bed.

He nodded. I realized he was wondering the same thing about me.

“She’s ended things with Nika, which I think took a toll” I said gently, he looked away. “But they were content together. They aren’t, Tristan and her, I mean, they did, but it was only once.”

“You forgave it,” he said, his voice caught in his throat. I nodded. “How? I’ve come to accept he’s probably a good man, but there was a time that the thought of your husband even touching her drove me out of my mind.”

“It’s all very complicated,” I said. “He was always very upfront with about his feelings for her, and she was so broken then, I don’t think I could have held onto it,” Not to mention Tristan’s forgiveness of my own indiscretions. He looked at me. “Annalise is the one who drives me out of my mind.” He laughed then.

“I know it’s shocking when Caro reveals she’s actually a flawed human and not a perfect character from a novel,” Emily said. She paused. “Who drives Annalise out of her mind? It isn’t you, I always go the impressions she rather likes you.”

“Brea,” Lefty said at the same time as me and we laughed.

“And Harran is Eric’s tick,” Lefty sighed. “At least we’re all hung up on different people.” I grinned. I liked him, more than I’d expected to. “Makes the mess even messier.”

“That’s true,” I mused. “I wonder what Prince Eric will think of Prior Chastain.”

“That’s the ranger?” Lefty asked. I nodded. “He’s not fond of the idea of him.” I laughed. “Do you think she’ll listen? And stay away.”

“I don’t know,” I said. But I was lying. I did know. And I knew that this news would only bring Marina here faster.

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Blooming

Athena

Watching Calla learn with Nika and Brea has been amazing. Seeing her take to their kind of magic is wildly interesting.

I’m still not sure about it. I’m trying to picture my daughter in black, and veiled. I’m not sure I can, but I love watching her face light up as she creates small flames, or sits with her hands to the sand and feels it’s energy run through her.

I’m grateful she doesn’t have to be afraid, that she has this but doesn’t have to bear our burdens, Annalise, Marina and mine, the dreams and confusion.

“Mama, look!” Calla called over to me holding a cactus blossom in her hand. I stood up and walked over to her. “Lady Nika showed me how to make it open.”

“Really?” I said. Nika smiled indulgently at me.

“Can you make it close Little One?” Nika said gently. Calla looked at the blossom and scrunched her face very hard, which made the petals close up. Calla gasped excitedly. “Well done, Calla.”

“That’s wonderful, dearest,” I said scooping her into my arms. She yawned.

“She’s a natural,” Nika smiled affectionately, “but I think that’s enough for today. This takes a lot of energy.”

“I can do more,” Calla said eagerly.

“Listen to Lady Nika,” I chastised her and she pouted. “Do you think I when I was small I took Grandpapa’s sword and fought everyday?”

“Yes,” she said. I laughed.

“Well, I did try, but I learned that I had to build up to something so big,” I said, “or else I’d get hurt. It’s going to be the same with your magic, hm?”

“I suppose so,” she sighed. “But it is very exciting.”

“Extremely exciting,” I said nudging my nose against hers. She giggled. “Thank you Nika.”

“Yes, thank you Lady Nika,” Calla repeated after me.

“It is my pleasure,” Nika smiled and accepted a kiss on the cheek. I carried her back to our tent and she fell asleep in my arms.

“Is everything alright here?” Marina asked as I approached.

“Someone overdid it in her magic lesson,” I whispered. She smiled. “She was making flowers bloom.”

“Oh,” Marina sighed softly, “I used to do that. In the courtyard gardens.” I smiled. “It does take a lot out of you.” I went in and lay her down. I walked around and found Tristan arguing with Elodie about where we should head next and she threw up her hands and marched away.

“Wow,” I said, “you’ve become so unpleasant even Elodie can’t take it. That’s got to be special.”

“Don’t start,” he snapped. I rolled my eyes.

“Fine,” I said, “stop pouting.”

“I’m not pouting!” He insisted. I raised my eyebrows. “I’m not, I just,” he exhaled. “She left.”

“Yes,” I nodded. “And you could have gone with her, but like every junction in your life you chose the path that suits you. That’s why we all have such little sympathy for you on it.”

“Excuse me?” He said. “The path that suits me?” I nodded. “What I want is never how things turn out!”

“No,” I said, “but we were in Pantona, and you chose to be with Annalise, even though you knew it was wrong. She chose you over Eric, just asking you to be patient and you went to Marina. Marina’s responsibilities meant you couldn’t hide anymore so you went to Dorin,”

“You came up with the idea of me going to Dorin!” He said, “you and Alex,” I sighed.

“No one kidnapped you, no one forced you,” I said. “Then you married Carolina and rather than stay with her you ran off exploring, no matter how unhappy it made her. Now she’s made a choice for herself, that’s really for Annalise, and you’re acting like the whole world conspired to make you unhappy. You could have gone with Caro, it would have been difficult, but we would have figured it out. Instead you chose to stay with us. The path that suits you.” He blinked at me.

“Oh,” he whispered.

“Yes, oh,” I said. “Honestly, your lack of self perception is becoming sad, Tristan.” He glared at me. “I’m only saying.” I stood up and walked away. I found Prior who was watering some of the horses. “He’s being an ass.”

“What else is new?” He grinned. I laughed. “When we hear from Caro he’ll settle down. That usually helps.” I nodded.

“Still, it’s irritating,” I sighed.

“I need to ask you something.” He looked at me,”Annalise has been Dreaming.”

“That’s normal, out here,” I said. “We’re close to the gods.” He nodded. “What about?”

“She won’t tell me,” he said. “I don’t want to push her, but it might help, and I don’t know how to broach it.” I frowned.

“You shouldn’t have told me, to begin with,” I said. “She’s very private about it.” He exhaled.

“I know,” he sighed. “It’s frightening, though, when it happens.” I looked at him. “I want to help her.”

“You do help her, Prior,” I said. “Just being there helps.” He looked down. “Aaron says that she used to scream for hours.”

“It doesn’t go on that long,” he said. I looked at him. “I love her, Athena.”

“I know that,” I said. “You still shouldn’t have told me.” He laughed. “Aaron thinks the two of you are being foolish.” He looked at me.

“And what do you think?” He asked. “Everyone knows you were Team Harran.”

“Yes, having Annalise married to my best friend would have been convenient,” I said. He laughed. “But you’re better for her.” I gripped the fence and stretched. “But after Eric and my brother,” he sighed. “You can’t ever leave her, Prior, you can’t even think about it. I don’t think she’d survive it again, not her heart, at least. And Annalise’s heart is the best part of her. She’s already so much colder and closed than she was when we first met her.” He nodded. “When she’s with you though, I see it, she’s full of light again.”

“Her aura?” He asked.

“Cornan no,” I shook my head, “mine doesn’t work like that. I just see it, she unclenches, she relaxes, her whole demeanor changes. You’re good for her, and I disagree with Tristan that she can only hurt you, like I said, I think if you leave her, it will break her.”

“I’m not going to leave her,” he said. I smiled sadly.

“Tristan said that,” I said, “and Eric. They both did. And losing my sister, my queen, Lisette,” I shrugged, “that would be hard enough, but losing The Sword? We’d all be doomed.” I looked at him. “So, don’t leave her, and don’t hurt her.” He smiled. “And don’t tell me things she wants kept private. I’d disembowel Aaron if he went to Annalise with my secrets.”

“Aren’t you glad to know?” He asked. “Even a little?” I shook my head.

“Yes, a little,” I said. It was useful to know she was Dreaming, since Marina noteably wasn’t, beyond her vision of Amina.

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Worry

Annalise

“You’re allowed to be worried about her,” Prior said to me that night. I looked at him.

“She says she’s alright,” I whispered, “I can’t just say that she’s not. She knows her own mind.” He looked at me.

“You can still worry,” he said. “You don’t have to tell Marina that you’re worried about her.” I smiled and lay down with him.

“You’re very bad at this,” I said. He laughed.

“How so?” He whispered.

“You’re supposed to talk about how Marina is very strong and can stand on her own and doesn’t need me,” I explained.

“Ah,” he kissed me. “Noted.” I laughed. “But you know, I worry about you, nearly constantly, and I know there’s very little that you can’t handle.”

“You worry about me,” I said rolling over and facing him. He smiled.

“Oh constantly,” he whispered and kissed me. “If I valued my sanity I’d have found a woman with far less to worry about.” I whacked him in the chest. “I worry when I’m not with you, and when I am, I worry more, because I see what you carry.”

He saw so much. How had I found him?

“Prior,” I whispered.

“Annalise,” he whispered back.

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” I managed softly. He smiled and kissed me again.

“Took you long enough.” He murmured. I laughed and snuggled into his arms.

“Don’t be smug,” I whispered. “It doesn’t suit you.” I fell asleep wrapped up in him.

I Dreamed that I was standing on a pebbly beach, covered in snow and the sea was raging. Angry, heavy waves, crashing against icebergs and cliff shores around me.

“Rana,” I screamed out, “please say something!”

“What is left to say?” I turned my head and startled back seeing Brayton. He looked older, obviously, so it wasn’t a memory, this was real. He’d grown a beard and it had flecks of grey. “You’ve grown up, Cousin.”

“Where are you?” I asked. He cocked his head to the side.

“I know Caleb taught you better than that,” he tsked. “Coming right at me head on. Honestly, Lisette.”

“Don’t call me that,” I snapped. He smirked.

“Sensitive,” he said, “you’ve grown so beyond that?” I swallowed. “I’ve missed these talks of ours.”

“I somehow doubt it,” I mumbled. “Did she punish you?” He looked down.

“Yes,” he said.

“Was it painful?” I stared at him. He nodded. “Good.”

“Vindictive,” he said softly, “that’s new.” I sighed and looked at him. “I am not at fault for Eric of Phania leaving you. You have other enemies.”

“I am aware of that,” I whispered. “But you once told me that I didn’t know what it felt like when love went sour.” He looked at me. “I know that now.”

“You have a new love,” he teased, “or so I hear.” I glared at him.

“Don’t touch him,” I hissed.

“I’m not interested in Allred’s brats,” Brayton laughed. “Wyatt was always useless, I can’t imagine those boys are good for much either.” I frowned. “I hadn’t thought of using them for stud of course.”

“That’s disgusting,” I said. He shrugged.

“I’m not judging,” he said. “But it’s an interesting development.” I rolled my eyes and then woke up to Prior shushing me and stroking my hair while I thrashed and screamed.

“Annalise,” Prior whispered, “it’s alright love, it’s alright.” I realized he’d never seen me in a full Dream before and I started crying, clinging to him. “I’m here, sweetheart, it’s alright. Can you tell me what you saw?”

“No,” I said, “not yet, please just hold me,” he nodded and held me closer. I was shaking, my heart racing. I realized this was the first time I’d had this kind of Dream reaction with Prior in my bed. He was taking it well.

“I’m here, love,” he whispered and kissed my hair. “I’m here.” I looked up at him.

“I’m scared,” I mumbled.

“I’ll keep you safe,” he whispered. “Always.” Something deep in me, calmed. I believed him, all of me did.

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The Dark Lady

Marina

As we ride to the first Westran camp that we’re visiting I notice a few things. Athena and Prior are both fruitlessly trying to cheer Tristan up, and most people wouldn’t notice because the difference between Tristan in a good mood and Tristan in a bad mood isn’t perceptible to most.

The other is that Brea and Lisette seem to be getting along.

“I think it’s a sign of the end times,” Aaron said to me, when Annalise laughed at something she said. I shook my head.

“They’re very alike,” Nika pointed out. “I’ve always assumed it was a matter of time before something broke and they became friends.” I smiled at her. “Or they killed each other, I never knew which it would be.” I laughed.

Nika and I seem to have found some balance, and I’m glad for it. I still miss her as my lover, but I’d also missed her as my friend and I have that at least.

“What changed?” I cocked my head to the side watching them.

“Damned if I know,” Harran sighed, “but it’s a relief.” I laughed. “I agree with Nika it was this or death.” I dismounted. “Is everything alright, Duchess?”

“I need to walk for a while,” I said. “I can’t explain it.” They nodded and I walked ahead of the group quickly. Trees were fewer and farther between, but I could feel the water rushing through each of them. But I couldn’t hear her, not even a whisper.

I wasn’t Dreaming. Normally in Westran the dreams flood in, I can barely focus, but it’s just silence, everything feels cut off and strange.

The off feelings started when I stopped hearing from Damian, and they’ve only gotten worse. I don’t know how to express it either, which is frustrating, there just seems to be something growing in my mind.

“Hello Little One,” I turned at the voice and saw Amina standing in front of me. Her pale skin and hair down around her shoulders and her tight black gown.

“Hello,” I said.

“You’re not afraid?” She smiled. I swallowed.

“Should I be?” I asked. She sighed.

“I should have claimed you,” she said, “why I let my sister,” she placed a cold hand against my cheek. “Things are shifting though.”

“Is that what I’m feeling?” I asked. She smiled.

“I hadn’t realized you were feeling anything else,” she said, “but I suppose so. We’ll speak again soon.” I blinked and she was gone.

“Marina,” Tristan ran over to me, “you shouldn’t go ahead like that, it isn’t safe.” I stared at him. “A messenger arrived, Caro got to Dorin.”

“I need to talk to Lisette,” I said, “and Raymond.” He frowned at me.

“Marina,” he said softly, and went to take my hand. I jerked back.

“Don’t touch me,” I said, “no one should, I can’t.” I walked back to the group and found Annalise sitting with Brea. “Lisette, I need,” I swallowed. She looked at me. “I just saw Amina.”

“What?” Annalise stood up.

“I was walking and I was trying to center, and I haven’t been able to lately,” I swallowed, “and then she was just there. She said things were shifting,” I exhaled. Brea sighed.

“The alarm that you all use around the Dark Lady is so tiresome,” she stood up and brushed off her robes. “She can’t hurt you, you’re alive. She’s frustrated by that fact, I am sure.”

“She touched me,” I growled. Brea’s eyes opened wide.

“Oh,” she said, “well, that is different, then.” I nodded.

“She touched you?” Annalise asked. I nodded. “And you didn’t faint? Or send out light?”

“No,” I said, “her hand felt cold, but then she disappeared.” I sighed. “I don’t know, I’ve been feeling something for ages, and I think it might be whatever this shift she was talking about is.”

“Do you think it’s got something to do with Rastan?” Annalise asked. I shrugged.

“I don’t know, I wish I did.” I sighed. “Can we stop for the day, or do we need to press on further?” Brea bit her bottom lip.

“I’ll check with Harran,” she said, “I’m sure we can rest for now.” She walked away. Annalise hugged me tightly.

“Why are you and Brea being friends?” I asked. “It’s really alarming all of us.” She laughed.

“I’ve decided if Prior and Tristan can be actual partners,” she sighed, “I can at least be pleasant.” I raised my eyebrows. “I’m going to try with Caro too, when she comes back.”

“That is big of you,” I nodded.

“I know,” she whispered. “Are you alright?” I shook my head.

“No,” I whispered. “But there’s not a lot to be done about it for the moment.” She sighed. “I’ll be fine, but I want to figure this out.” I sighed. “What if I’m hers now?” I said. She presses her forehead to mine, that confident smile of hers clear as crystal.

“I refuse,” Annalise says. “Even if she wanted you, wouldn’t the pledges protect us?”

“It should,” Raymond snuck up on us. “That pledge is strong magic. Marina would have to break it herself.”

“Don’t do that,” Annalise said. He grinned and looked at me and held out his hands.

“Hands, Marina,” he said.

“Do the Mastero vows do it?” Annalise muttered. He looked at her. “Make you into an insufferable bossy infant with no manners?” He chuckled as I lay my hands on his.

“You’re not carrying any shadow,” he said. I nodded. He knew it was what I was most worried about. Damian carried shadow with him for months after Brayton attacked him.

“Thank you,” I said softly. He nodded.

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Careful

Carolina

I stood in our room at the keep packing my things into my trunk and mentally composing the letter to Emily I had to write I heard Tristan walk in.

“Are you going to argue with me?” I asked. He sighed.

“No,” he whispered and came to hold me from behind. “I don’t want you to go, but I won’t argue with you.” I swallowed and closed my eyes.

“You could come with me,” I said.

“I want to,” he said.

“It would be like when we were in Dorin,” I said, “we’d be away from everything. We could start over.”

“I’m going to try to come with Marina,” he said, “a few weeks after you.” I sighed.

“Oh,” I said softly.

“It isn’t what you think,” he said as I pulled away. “Caro,” he said. I turned and looked at him.

“You’re choosing her, and Annalise,” I said, “I’m not surprised, Tristan, but it’s still irritating.” He sighed and sat down.

“Caro, I can’t,” he said. I looked at him. “I have to be present to explain why I won’t be returning after these visits.” I exhaled.

“Oh,” I whispered. He nodded.

“You surprised everyone,” he said gently as I snuggled into his lap.

“I surprised me,” I sighed, “and promising Alex and Emily,” I exhaled. “I don’t know what got into me.”

“It’s quite brave,” he smiled and kissed me. I smiled. “Alex won’t object, he’ll bring you.” I nodded. “And I’ll miss you.”

“I always miss you,” I whispered, “every time you go.” He kissed me. “Brea must be furious.” He laughed.

“Probably,” he said softly, I weaved my fingers into his. “You’ll go with the messenger?”

“I think so,” I said. “I’ll have to spend at least a few days in Dorin.”

“Get to, you get to spend a few days in Dorin, I’m jealous,” he smiled. I smiled. I did miss it sometimes. “Will you see your father?” He asked. I shook my head.

“Not if I can help it,” I said, “my mother though. And your aunts and uncles.” He nodded. “I’ll walk along the harbor, and go to our park.” He kissed me.

“Don’t you dare go to that park without me,” he whispered. I giggled. “Promise.” I kissed him again. “Gods, I wish I could go with you.”

“I’d let you finish undressing me now,” I said. My heart was beating quickly, remembering Tristan removing my shirt and suckling on me, unsure what he wanted with me, but desperate to be closer to him. “I have to finish packing. And then probably meet with Marina and Annalise.” He sighed and leaned back.

“I should stop you,” he said. “I know I can’t, but I have a bad feeling Caro.” I kissed him gently.

“I’ll come back later, we’ll say goodbye,” he nodded. I walked back out to where Annalise was sitting looking up at the stars. “He’s upset with me.”

“What’s that like?” She grinned and I laughed. “He worries about you. He worries about everything.” I smiled and nodded. We so rarely talked like this.

“Emily says you probably prayed for my death.” I said, wanting to fill the silence. She smirked at me.

“Not your death,” she said. “Nothing that extreme. I wished that you’d hate him, or you’d be deformed so he wouldn’t look at you or a simpleton so he’d be bored, or at least not so gods damned wonderful so I could dislike you more. Brea’s been very obliging by being unpleasant all these years.” I laughed.

“I could have been unpleasant,” I shrugged, “I once cornered Marina and screamed at her and basically called her a betraying whore.” Annalise sighed.

“I was furious with both of them about that night,” she admitted and pulled the shawl she was wearing around her shoulders. “As if it had anything to do with me.” I smiled.

“Everything we all do has something to do with you,” I sighed softly.

“Now you sound like Aaron,” she shook her head. I shrugged. “Do you agree with Tristan, about me and Prior?”

“No,” I whispered. “I don’t actually. I think he’s being ridiculous. Do you agree with him?”

“Sometimes,” she said softly, “I think I don’t know my own mind anymore. There were so many things I was so certain of, and now I’m lost.” I looked at her. “May I ask you something without any judgement?” I nodded. “William?” I looked down and laughed.

“What are you asking?” I asked. She smirked. “I’m going to make you say it, Your Majesty.”

“What is he like?” She asked. “I’m so curious. I was so innocent when he was pursuing me I didn’t even know he was doing it. I have to imagine that translates to everything.”

“He’s gifted.” I smiled. She laughed. “Very,” I smiled and leaned back, “responsive.” She nodded. “He was sweet, which, well, I’d never really had before.” She looked oddly at me. “Tristan’s always so urgent, so overwhelming. And Andrei,” I closed my eyes. “I didn’t know it then but I could have been anybody, it was just about him.”

“Marina used to say he was attentive,” she smirked at me. I smiled. “I can understand why you did it. Tristan doesn’t know what being left feels like.”

“He’s about to,” I said and she rested her head on my shoulder. “He’ll come to you. Maybe not right away, but he will, and I’m ready for that, I’ve always been ready for that.”

“I won’t take him,” she said. “Maybe I could have, but now,” she shook her head. “Now I’d be hurting Prior.” She stood up. “What do you think about Rastan?”

“I think it’s very odd that none of them came to Dovetail, ever,” I said. “And now they’ve issued an invitation that cannot be ignored.” She nodded. “I don’t trust it.”

“Me neither,” she said. “You’ll watch carefully?”

“I always do,” I smiled. I went back to my room, and saw my things already packed. I smiled. Tristan wasn’t there but he’d done something so small to support me. I curled up to sleep, and eventually he came and wrapped his arms around me from behind.

We didn’t make love, but this was better.

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