Dorin

Marina

I was standing in a parlor at the Dumanis Manor, batting a fan against my hand. I hadn’t been in Dorin since Emily and Alex’s wedding and having to stay here longer than a few days to kiss rings was making me anxious. Anya Norvine had shown us to our rooms and made it clear she was happy for our company but did not require it, which I appreciated.

We did not get so lucky with Carland Dumanis, who “kindly extended an invitation to dinner,” a week after our arrival. Tristan walked in and saw us.

“Thank Cornan,” he mumbled. “Uncle Trey thinks we’ll have a ship tomorrow.” I looked at him gratefully.

“Why the delay?” Raymond asked. Tristan shrugged.

“Because it’s my grandfather,” he said, “and the world is his to command.” I looked at him. “Mostly he was trying to convince me to bring Caro back here when we return.”

“Will you?” Evan asked him. Tristan sent him a glare. “So, no?”

“No,” I said. “I think the only person who hates Dorin more than Carolina is Athena.” Tristan sighed. “Has it been awful?”

“No,” he smiled at me. “My aunts and Charlotte have been keeping people away, for the most part. I barked at some poor apprentice when he asked after Athena’s health so I think that ended any thoughts of socializing.”

“Why?” Evan said. “Surely most people are curious about Athena’s health these days.”

“We’re not supposed to let any of the Dumanis know anything about Calla or the new baby,” I explained. “Athena doesn’t trust the old man to not manipulate the situation.”

“This all makes me feel like my family is functional,” Evan muttered.

“Oh the Dumanis make me feel like my family is functional,” Raymond grinned. “And I’m reasonably sure they’re all trying to murder one another regularly.” I laughed. They were trying to relax me and I was grateful for it. Tristan looked at me.

“Marina,” he whispered. “I promise we’ll leave as soon as we can.” I nodded. The doors of the parlor opened and Trey Dumanis walked in.

“Duchess,” he smiled. I smiled back at him as he took my hand and kissed it. “A pleasure to see you again. I think it’s been far too long.”

“I agree,” I said. “We all missed you this winter.” He smiled.

“How is your father?” He asked gently. I looked down. Papa’s mind was so far afield lately, I shouldn’t be surprised he hadn’t written to Trey, but it still hurt me to realize it. “I’m sorry.”

“He has his days,” I smiled. “But they are fewer and farther between.” He looked at Raymond next.

“Mastero, I hope the books I sent Caro were appropriate.” He smiled.

“They were much appreciated,” Raymond said. Evan grinned. “No one else thought to give gifts.”

“You were the first Mastero to take vows in a generation,” I objected. “No one knew what was appropriate and Caro thinks we’re all insane for not giving gifts when someone breaks wind.” Trey laughed.

“Ah, I see we’ve settled in,” Carland joined us. “Duchess,” he took and kissed my hand.

“Chancellor,” I said. “Thanking you for having us. Duchess Norvine was not feeling well, she sends her regrets.” He raised an eyebrow.

“Of course,” he said, “Mastero Quents, Lord Allred,” he bowed. Evan and Raymond returned it. “Now, what is this rush you and my grandson have to get to Rastan?” I swallowed.

“King Raniere has offered me a marriage proposal,” I said simply. “I’m afraid I must answer him in person.” Carland looked startled.

“That would shift things,” he said. I nodded. “Will you accept him?”

“Grandfather,” Tristan said warningly.

“It’s alright,” I said. “The Queen has told me I’m under no obligation to do so, but may if I like.” It’s the truth, after all, even if she was joking. I smiled.

“But surely as her heir, she can’t have you linked to another throne,” he said with a smirk, “unless there’s been a change.”

“No,” Tristan and Raymond said at the exact same time.

“My cousin Captain Chastain and the Queen are announcing their intention to marry, when they return to Dovetail,” Evan came in smoothly. I exhaled a smile at him. “With her own marriage settled and children likely coming, I believe Duchess Marina will have a good deal more freedom.”

“Of course,” Carland said. “A disappointment for us of course. We had high hopes for our Calla.” I smirked.

“I’d hardly call Countess of Pantona a lacking prize, Father,” Trey said. I smiled. But I wanted to scream. We were talking politics and petty gossip while two days sail away my enemy was sitting in wait like a spider.

“Excuse me,” I said and stood up, “I think I need some air.” I walked out and pressed against the rail of a terrace.

“Marina,” Tristan came out and found me after a while. “I’m sorry, I know this is torture.” I closed my eyes as he wrapped his arms around me. “Have you been Dreaming?” I swallowed and looked at him.

“I wish I had been,” I said softly. “Then I’d know something, but instead it’s all dark. I’m afraid to meditate, I’m afraid I’ll see Amina again.” He planted a kiss on my forehead. It was so comforting. It would be so easy, here, away from everyone, to have each other. He senses it too.

“Rina,” he whispered. “What do you want?”

“If I said you,” I whispered back, “what would your answer be?” He looked at me.

“No,” he said, “but I also don’t think you’re really asking.” I swallowed. “Oh Marina, what good would come of that?” I sighed and stepped away, “it isn’t that I don’t want you, you know that.” I smiled.

“I crave it, sometimes,” I admitted, “your touch, your eyes on me. Nika saw all of it, and she finally couldn’t take it anymore.” I looked down. “That night we were together was the most selfish I’ve been in my life.” He looked at me. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, because I’m so afraid I’ll be selfish again.”

“Rina,” he said softly.

“If it comes down to Damian or the world, I don’t know that I’ll choose the world, Tristan,” I swallowed. “I don’t know that I can.” He held me close.

“It won’t come to that,” he whispered. “I won’t let it.” I swallowed. “This is my job remember?”

“Annalise is your job,” I said. He cupped my face.

“She told me to protect you,” he whispered. “So right now, that’s my job.” I let him hold me. But I realized he didn’t understand. Because he’s never had to make this choice. No one else ever has, and I chose the world and Annalise once.

And I couldn’t, wouldn’t, do it again.

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Andrei

Carolina

I was sitting in the parlor of the apartment. I was still a little overwhelmed by the luxury of life here. It made Dorin feel simple, and Dorin made Dovetail feel like hovel. I was longing for my quiet, comfortable life in Pantona. My little house, and garden, my long talks with William, and watching Calla run through the wheat.

William.

I hadn’t thought of him in so long, my friend, my lover, the only person who saw me. I’d been so unfair to him, used him so awfully.

“Lady Dugarry?” I looked up from the book I was attempting and failing to read, and saw Princess Karina and Lady Katrin standing before me. I smiled at them. Everyone staying in the palace seemed to appreciate the sheer warmth and light these two girls seemed to bring into every room they entered. The Princess was exceptionally lovely. I’d never seen her mother, but had heard her compared to Marina a few times, but I didn’t think they were much alike. Karina was darker and softer than my friend. Katrin, however, shared her older brother’s sharpness and sly good looks, I think if she hadn’t been handed over to mind her cousin, she’d be quite the trouble maker. In some ways they reminded me of me and Emily. “I’m sorry to disturb you.”

“Not at all, Your Highness,” I said. Karina smiled shyly. “What can I do for you?”

“There are a few ships that entered harbor today,” Katrin said quickly. I nodded.

“Merchant ships, mostly,” Karina explained, “and a market set up on the docks.”

“Really, just some stalls,” Katrin said, “but news from everywhere, and shopping and food and well,” she sighed. “We’d like to go.”

“I see,” I nodded. “And what is stopping you?”

“Well,” Karina explained, “we really aren’t allowed to go alone.”

“And my brother claims to be too busy,” Katrin said, “though with what, I haven’t the slightest idea. And he suggested we ask you to come with us.” I laughed at that. “We understand if you don’t want to.”

“But we thought you might like news from Cammadan as much as we would from Phania,” Princess Karina explained. “And well,” she looked down a little ashamed.

“And I’m a merchant and know my way around,” I finished. The princess looked at me and nodded. “Of course I will take you.” They smiled broadly. “But Lady Katrin, I insist you tell your brother while I change into something appropriate, I’ll meet you at the gates.”

“Oh Damian won’t,” Katrin went to speak, and Karina elbowed her. “Of Course, my lady, thank you.” They giggled their way out and I shook my head.

I went to my wardrobe. It was the first time in a long time I realized I’d be a representative of a Cammadie merchant family as well as The Dugarrys. I landed on green wool gown and a fur cloak. I hurried to the palace gates where Princess Karina and Lady Katrin were waiting. Captain Lestoff was with them.

“Captain,” I smiled, “I had been told you could not spare the time.” He shook his head.

“My schedule opened up,” he said. Lady Katrin let out an annoyed huff and rolled her eyes. He offered his arm and I took it. He was up to something. “They’d never have invited you if I hadn’t said they had to, and the thought of shopping with them alone terrified me.” I smiled.

You could have simply asked.” I pointed out. He smirked at me. “Goddess, poor Marina, she must have been putty in your hand.”

“Don’t tease me about Marina,” he said. “To be honest seeing you every evening is the only time I’ve felt warmly towards Tristan, he was in Dorin a whole twenty minutes before they put you in front of him? I’d have spent every minute chasing you too.” I wrinkled my nose at him. We reached the docks and watched the girls scurry. “Kat!” He called out, and sighed.

“They’ll be fine,” I said. “Honestly a makeshift dock market is too hastily organized to be much danger to them.” He sighed.

“Lady Dugarry!” A voice called from a table. I smiled and walked over. Ralph DuParin was a friend of my father’s I’d known since I was very small. “My, how our little Caro has grown.”

“Master DuParin,” I smiled. “May I introduce Captain Damian Lestoff,” I said. Lefty smiled. “Master DuParin used to bring my sister and me chocolate from up here when we were little.”

“Your mother asked me to look for you or Madame DuCray,” he bowed. “I may tell her you’re well?”

“Yes,” I said, “Emily and I are both quite well.” He smiled. “You’ll excuse us?” We continued on. Lefty eventually found the girls and I wandered a bit. I stopped at one stall and bought a lemon, the merchant claimed it was from Pantona, and even if he was lying, just holding it made me feel better.

“Caro,” I turned and inhaeld, “I mean Lady Dugarry.” In four years, Andrei Arrain had barely changed. His light hair was brushed back, and his cool dark eyes pierced mine.

“Captain Arrain,” I said softly. He exhaled.

“Just Master Arrain, now,” he said softly. “I no longer have a ship.” I nodded. “I had heard you were in the city. And alone.” I stepped past him but he followed me. “Caro,” he whispered, taking my waist.

“I’m not alone,” I said sharply stepping away. “Emily and Alex came with me.” He exhaled.

“I meant, your husband is not here,” he said. “Caro, come see me. Even I’ve heard that you’re not happy, and I think I could,” I glared at him and was grateful as Lefty came quickly to my side at that.

“Lady Dugarry, Princess Karina is quite ready to return if you are.” He said. “Damian Lestoff,” He extended his hand.

“Andrei Arrain,” He said. “I trust you’re enjoying Rastan?”

“I’ve been here many times,” Lefty said. “You’re from here? I think I remember seeing you in Brightcoast when Lady Dugarry and her husband came there before their marriage.”

“May I call on you at the palace?” Andrei asked me. I nodded, not wanting to prolong this. “Captain,” He nodded to Lefty, and he bowed.

“Rana be praised you were saved from that one,” he said as we found Katrin and Karina, both carrying canvas bags full of parcels and gigglin. “When I saw him in the Brightcoast ballroom it was shocking since I’d only known him from brothels before.” I looked at him. “I don’t pretend to be virtuous, Carolina, but I am faithful to Marina.” I smiled.

“He maintains that he’s actually my husband legally, if you can believe it,” I said. “My father sides with him too. I think if Tristan weren’t Carland Dumanis’s grandson, I’d be stuck with him.”

“It’s funny,” he said, “my father marrying Aimee changed the course of my whole life,” he said, “I would have lived very comfortably, I think drinking myself into a stupor and collecting from my father’s business until he made me pursue someone respectable. Like say, the charming daughter of a wealthy and upcoming merchant family.” I laughed.

“Well, if that was your plan, if we’d have met incidentally, my father would have deeply approved,” I shrugged, “so long as you agreed to pay.” He smiled.

“Yes, in another life, I think I would have very much enjoyed being reformed by you,” he teased. I smirked.

“I repeat my earlier assertion,” I said. “Marina had no defenses against you, it was unfair.” He smiled and leaned close to me.

“When I made my intentions to Marina known,” he said, “and told her to run in the other direction, she reminded me that Brayton forfeit his soul for her, your husband had betrayed the queen for her, William Santino declared her the most beautiful woman to ever live and she was running a kingdom,” I smirked at him. “She was well armed.” I smiled.

“Lady Dugarry,” Princess Karina walked over and slid her arm through mine, “do you know Queen Annalise well?” I looked back at Lefty.

“Reasonably,” I said. “Why do you ask?” She sighed.

“My mother insists she is my ally,” she explained, “and obviously my Uncle, Prince Eric, has his opinions. But my father thinks she’s untrustworthy.”

“If I can set your mind at all at ease, Your Highness,” I said gently, “if there is one thing that Queen Annalise is absolutely sure on in this world, it is that she wants you named officially as your father’s heir.” She smiled. “She suffers, daily, with the Prince’s absecence.” She smiled at me.

“I am glad to hear it.” she said. “I know that were Kristoff and I were divided now, I’d been absolutely devastated.” She sighed. “My Uncle has not taken their separation well.”

“Nor did the queen, at first,” I said gently. I had no intention of betraying Prior to the princess. I knew that Prince Eric knew about him, but I didn’t know how far that extended. “But four years is a long time.” She nodded.

“I think it is harder on my uncle that Captain Lestoff is so stalwart,” she said. I looked at her. “Is Duchess Marina truly so wonderful? He was so wild before.”

“I don’t know if it is that Marina is so wonderful,” I said, “though she is, well,” I sighed, “it’s difficult to explain when you haven’t met her,” she looked at me, “but she’s equally as dedicated to him. Even her relationship with Lady Nika was always conditional on his return.” She looked at me.

“And what can you tell me about Lord Evan Allred?” She asked. “My Uncle Raymond was my closest companion until he went away and they gave me Kat. At home they talk like he’s a demon.”

“Evan is the best of the nobility in Cammadan,” I said softly. “Besides my brother in law, obviously,” she laughed. “His father is the worst of them.” She nodded. “But your Uncle Raymond is a dear friend to me as well, and he worries about you constantly.” She beamed at that.

“I love his letters,” she admitted, “I felt I knew you before we met because of them.” She sighed. “Kat is more wary because of how Lefty and Uncle Eric feel about Sir Tristan.” I sighed. “I’m sorry, is it difficult for you?” I looked at her.

“It’s complicated,” I said gently. She smiled. “But I’m glad we’re friends, Your Highness. Your Uncle Raymond will be glad too, I promise you.” She sighed.

“I hope he’s proud of me,” she said softly. I thought of Prior for a moment, and how he spoke about how much Annalise carried, I saw the same weight sitting on Karina. She brightened as we reached the palace gates and Kristoff was waiting.

“Princess,” he grinned at her. She smiled. “Lady Dugarry,” he said, “a guest came for you, we sent him to your parlor.”

“Thank you, your highness,” I curtsied. “Princess Karina,” I nodded to her.

“Kat,” Lefty looked at his sister and the prince and princess scampered off. She groaned and followed them. “Do you want me to come with you?” I looked at him softly.

“I’ll be alright,” I said, “but thank you.” I walked back to my suite and Andrei stood up quickly. “I don’t know how many more ways I can tell you this is over for me.”

“Caro,” he mumbled, stepping closer to me and lifting my face. “You never heard me out.”

“You left me,” I reminded him, “and then humiliated me. And you did the second one at the behest of my father because he didn’t get his way.”

“I loved you,” he said, “what was I supposed to do? I was penniless and stranded and then The Dumanis were throwing an heir at you.” I rolled my eyes and pulled away.

“You were gone for months before anyone introduced me to Tristan and I hadn’t heard a word from you,” I said. “And that doesn’t excuse the challenge.” He frowned. “If you loved me, why would you,” I choked back a sob. “I can’t go home, Andrei, because of you. Because you made me a scandal.” He nodded.

“I don’t suppose there’s any point in telling you I could give it to you now,” he said, his voice sad. “I have a good business here, a house,” he sighed. “Asking you to stay when they call you back.” I glared at him.

“Even if I wanted to, which I do not,” I squared my shoulders. “I couldn’t.” He stared at me. “I’m pregnant.” I couldn’t believe he was the first person I was telling. More humiliation.

“I see,” he whispered. “So it’s over then.” I swallowed.

“Andrei, it was over years ago,” I said.

“I’m sorry to have bothered you, then.” He left and I collapsed on the couch, my hand on my middle. I prayed that Tristan arrived soon, we’d received word they were on their way, but nothing since. I couldn’t even go to a healer because I didn’t trust anyone. I was alone.

“I saw him go,” the door creaked open and Katrin walked in. “Who is he?”

“A mistake I made when I was your age,” I smiled at her. She blushed. “Shouldn’t you be with Karina?”

“They don’t need me for what they’re doing,” she shrugged. I laughed. “I can’t wait until they’re married and I can have a life again.”

“Marina says your brothers used to talk about you coming to Cammadan,” I said. She rolled her eyes.

“Like everyone else, my brothers assume I want what they want,” she said and collapsed on the couch. I nodded.

“What do you want?” I asked. She sighed.

“Something exciting,” she said, “an adventure.” I nodded. “I’d really like a ship of my own but girl’s aren’t allowed, not in Phania.” I smirked at her.

“Perhaps that’s why they want to bring you to Cammadan,” I shrugged. She smirked.

“Perhaps,” she said.

Siblings

Athena

I sat watching Calla run around chasing a butterfly. I was trying so hard to not just hold her tight to me. It was irrational. Brayton wasn’t here, he was across a sea. He couldn’t hurt her, and she was blissfully unaware of who he was, and what if any threat he was to her.

“Do you want to go?” Aaron asked, sitting next to me. I looked at him and I shook my head. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I whispered. “It’s not my fight.” He nodded. “She gets to be so free.” I rested my head on his shoulder.

“When are Tristan and Rina leaving?” He asked.

“Soon,” I sighed, “tomorrow, I think. Raymond and Evan are going with them too.”

“Quite the party,” he mumbled. I laughed. “Thena,” he whispered. “What if it is your fight?”

“I’m supposed to be here,” I said. “I know it. I can’t explain why, but,” he nodded.

“Mama,” Calla ran over to me, “what’s wrong?” I smiled at her.

“Nothing Duck,” I said and gathered her too me. “I’m going to miss Uncle Tristan is all.” She nestled her face next to mine.

“Oh, I’ll miss him too,” she said. “I miss Aunt Caro, most I think.”

“Oh sweetheart,” I said softly. Caro was such a deep part of her life, of course she missed her. “I’m sure she misses you terribly.” She sighed.

“How is my little brother?” She asked looking up at me.

“Would you like to say hello to him?” Aaron asked. She nodded and stood up and leaned over my belly.

“Hello Baby John,” she whispered. “I love you very much, even while you’re still inside Mama.” I smiled at her.

“Come here, sweet girl,” Aaron said and hugged her. “Do you know what your job will be with your baby brother?” She scrunched her nose at him.

“I have very many jobs now Papa,” she said. I laughed.

“Yes, but this one is easy,” he assured her. “You must love him but make sure he doesn’t think he’s too important. Only a sibling can do that.” I shook my head and laughed. “He’ll do the same for you of course.”

“That doesn’t sound fun,” she pouted.

“It is though,” I assured her. She burrowed deeper into Aaron’s arms. “What did you learn with Lady Brea, yesterday?” She looked at me and sighed.

“I learned which flowers will help people sleep,” she said, “the blue ones, mixed with the yellow.” I nodded. “She said that we should plant a garden with them at home.”

“I’ll bet,” Aaron said, “that Mastero Anselm will know the perfect place.” She nodded. Tristan walked over his sack over his shoulder. “Is it time?” Aaron asked gently.

“It is,” he said, “I think Marina is going to explode.” I stood up and hugged him.

“Please don’t do anything foolish,” I said softly. He smiled.

“Me? Never.” He said. I laughed. “I’ll see you at home, Thena.” I nodded. “Calla, may I have a hug or are you too serious for that now.” She stood up a clapped him around the knees. He lifted her up and snuggled her. “I love you, Little One.”

“I love you too,” she said. “Will you tell Aunt Caro that I love her?” He smiled gently.

“Of course, Duck,” he whispered. “First thing when I see her.” I smiled at him.

“Good,” she said as he put her down and she ran back into the field. I looked at him.

“What’s the plan in Dorin?” Aaron asked.

“Evan, Raymond and Marina are going to stay with Duchess Norvine,” Tristan sighed, “I’ll be at the manor, shall I send your best Grandfather?”

“And let him choke on it,” I grinned. He smiled. “If he has anything to say about Calla,” I drifted off.

“Not a word,” Tristan shook his head. I smiled and hugged him again. “I love you.” I nodded. “Aaron,” he said.

“Be safe,” Aaron nodded. Tristan smiled and walked away. “Are you alright?”

“I hate that I’m used to it,” I sighed. “I hate that we’re apart more than we’re together now.”

“I know, Love,” he whispered and held me close. “Hopefully this is the end of that.”

Hopefully.

Vision

Annalise

“I think you’re being too hard on them,” Aaron looked at me. I frowned.

“Rastan,” I muttered, “he’s been in Rastan for a year. Sneaky little toad.”

“Lisette,” he sighed. I looked at him. “You can’t ask Marina and Tristan to stay with you now that we know this.” I sighed.

“I know that,” I sighed, “I do, I just,” I exhaled. “We have to be careful.”

“Do we?” Athena asked from the table. “We’ve been careful. They go, we spring the trap, Marina sticks a knife in his heart, it’s done.”

“Even if it kills her?” I argued. “Or Lefty? Or Caro? Or Tristan?”

“Yes,” Athena sighed. “Did you really think we’d all come out of war alive? That isn’t how it works. I’d mourn any of them, all of them. But this has to happen.” I looked at Aaron.

“She’s right,” he said. I sighed. “Are you afraid Eric won’t forgive you?”

“What does Eric have to do with it?” I snapped. They looked at each other and sighed. “Don’t do that. Don’t do the married and in love we can read one another’s mind thing. I hate that.”

“I’m trying to come up with any reason that you think we should delay again,” Aaron shrugged, “and what came to me first is that you’re worried Eric won’t forgive you if some action you take winds up hurting Lefty. Or Lady Katrin. Or Princess Karina.” I frowned at him.

“It’s not that,” I said softly. “I don’t know what it is. I Dreamed about him, and we talked and, I was so angry.” I exhaled. “I want to be there when it happens.”

“Oh,” Athena exhaled, “well I understand that.” She paused. “You Dreamed him?” I nodded. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “Everyone’s carrying their own burdens right now, it isn’t as though there was anything productive in the Dream. No locations, or hints. Just him being frustrating.”

The folds of the tent parted and Raymond walked in. I looked at him and he smiled sadly.

“You want to go too, don’t you?” I said gently. Aaron and Athena excused themselves.

“If at all possible,” he said. I looked down. “Annalise, they’re my family, too.” I nodded.

“Of course,” I said. “Of course, you’ll go with the others, Raymond.” He nodded. “Have you seen anything, lately?”

“No,” he sighed, “I’ve felt like Karina was in danger for a while, but I could never place it, now I understand. I got a letter from her with the others, she went to comfort her beloved Kristoff in his grief.” I smiled. “This was of course the first time they actually met.”

“But they wrote letters their whole lives,” I smiled. He nodded. “When I was her age I used to plan my whole life with Eric in my mind and we’d never even had that much.” Raymond laughed.

“When Eric offered to bring me on The Glory,” Raymond smiled, “I pictured lounging in hammocks with Randolph, while we sailed into the sunset.”

“Very romantic,” I said. He shrugged. “You’ve seen her in danger?”

“A little bit like you and Marina,” he said softly, “Karina is always in danger. If my sister is to be believed, the fundamentalists are gaining even more strength, but Karina is popular, coming home with a handsome, strong husband might enrage them.”

“Of course,” I sighed. “And Eric, lately?”

“Publicly?” Raymond asked. I shrugged. “The Prince is honored by his brother’s confidence in him, beloved by all. Privately, I’m not sure he and Daniel are speaking and everyone at court knows that he supports changing the law and making Karina the heir.” I smiled.

“But why would he support such a thing?” I grinned. He laughed.

“Yes, why,” he said, “sitting on the roof in Brinecliff staring at the lights of Brightcoast when he was sixteen have nothing to do with it.” I sighed.

“Will he be there?” I asked. “In Rastan?”

“I think so,” Raymond smiled gently. “He and Raniere have always been close.” I sighed. “And once he finds out Marina’s going Lefty won’t have a leg to stand on to keep him away.” I swallowed. “What does Prior think of this whole plan?” I shrugged.

“It’s not really any of his bussiness.” I said. “Tristan wants to give him the rangers.”

“That’s worked out so well for his own marriage, I can see why he’d wish it on you two,” he teased. I sighed. “Don’t lock him out, Annalise. He’s so devoted to you.” This surprised me. “Do you think I’m betraying Eric?”

“Betraying Eric?” I smiled. “No, it’s just, it matches up with what you said before,” he raised his eyebrows. “He’s your family too.” He smiled.

“Yes,” he said softly, “I guess he is.” I smiled. “You’re going to need him. With Marina gone, I mean.” I looked at him and nodded. He was the only person I could honestly say understood how much I relied on Marina.

“Is Evan going with you?” I asked.

“With permission,” he smirked. I rolled my eyes. “I want him to meet Eric, and Karina.” I smiled.

“Of course it’s permitted,” I said, I paused. “Prior will have to take his council vote.”

“Oh,” he sighed, “what a trial for you.” I smiled.

“Evan challenges me in ways Prior won’t,” I said gently. “I love him, but he wants to please me too much.”

“Aaron will fight you tooth and nail on everything, I’m sure,” Raymond laughed. I smiled. “Annalise, when I see him, he’s going to ask, and what should I tell him?”

“The truth,” I whispered. “That I meant to wait. I wanted to wait.” He nodded.

“Alright,” he said. “Marina said if we don’t leave by dawn she’s going without us, so I think I should get some sleep.” I nodded. “Annalise, it’s going to be alright,” he said softly. I swallowed.

“I can’t lose anyone else, Raymond,” I whispered. “I can’t lost Marina or you or,” I choked on it. Tristan. A world without Tristan, even the Tristan who had to stand on the opposite side of the room from me. Who I couldn’t touch or be with, who was now rabid to get to the woman he actually loved, even if he didn’t always realize it.

“I know,” he said gently. “We’ll protect each other.” I nodded.

Blooming

Athena

Watching Calla learn with Nika and Brea has been amazing. Seeing her take to their kind of magic is wildly interesting.

I’m still not sure about it. I’m trying to picture my daughter in black, and veiled. I’m not sure I can, but I love watching her face light up as she creates small flames, or sits with her hands to the sand and feels it’s energy run through her.

I’m grateful she doesn’t have to be afraid, that she has this but doesn’t have to bear our burdens, Annalise, Marina and mine, the dreams and confusion.

“Mama, look!” Calla called over to me holding a cactus blossom in her hand. I stood up and walked over to her. “Lady Nika showed me how to make it open.”

“Really?” I said. Nika smiled indulgently at me.

“Can you make it close Little One?” Nika said gently. Calla looked at the blossom and scrunched her face very hard, which made the petals close up. Calla gasped excitedly. “Well done, Calla.”

“That’s wonderful, dearest,” I said scooping her into my arms. She yawned.

“She’s a natural,” Nika smiled affectionately, “but I think that’s enough for today. This takes a lot of energy.”

“I can do more,” Calla said eagerly.

“Listen to Lady Nika,” I chastised her and she pouted. “Do you think I when I was small I took Grandpapa’s sword and fought everyday?”

“Yes,” she said. I laughed.

“Well, I did try, but I learned that I had to build up to something so big,” I said, “or else I’d get hurt. It’s going to be the same with your magic, hm?”

“I suppose so,” she sighed. “But it is very exciting.”

“Extremely exciting,” I said nudging my nose against hers. She giggled. “Thank you Nika.”

“Yes, thank you Lady Nika,” Calla repeated after me.

“It is my pleasure,” Nika smiled and accepted a kiss on the cheek. I carried her back to our tent and she fell asleep in my arms.

“Is everything alright here?” Marina asked as I approached.

“Someone overdid it in her magic lesson,” I whispered. She smiled. “She was making flowers bloom.”

“Oh,” Marina sighed softly, “I used to do that. In the courtyard gardens.” I smiled. “It does take a lot out of you.” I went in and lay her down. I walked around and found Tristan arguing with Elodie about where we should head next and she threw up her hands and marched away.

“Wow,” I said, “you’ve become so unpleasant even Elodie can’t take it. That’s got to be special.”

“Don’t start,” he snapped. I rolled my eyes.

“Fine,” I said, “stop pouting.”

“I’m not pouting!” He insisted. I raised my eyebrows. “I’m not, I just,” he exhaled. “She left.”

“Yes,” I nodded. “And you could have gone with her, but like every junction in your life you chose the path that suits you. That’s why we all have such little sympathy for you on it.”

“Excuse me?” He said. “The path that suits me?” I nodded. “What I want is never how things turn out!”

“No,” I said, “but we were in Pantona, and you chose to be with Annalise, even though you knew it was wrong. She chose you over Eric, just asking you to be patient and you went to Marina. Marina’s responsibilities meant you couldn’t hide anymore so you went to Dorin,”

“You came up with the idea of me going to Dorin!” He said, “you and Alex,” I sighed.

“No one kidnapped you, no one forced you,” I said. “Then you married Carolina and rather than stay with her you ran off exploring, no matter how unhappy it made her. Now she’s made a choice for herself, that’s really for Annalise, and you’re acting like the whole world conspired to make you unhappy. You could have gone with Caro, it would have been difficult, but we would have figured it out. Instead you chose to stay with us. The path that suits you.” He blinked at me.

“Oh,” he whispered.

“Yes, oh,” I said. “Honestly, your lack of self perception is becoming sad, Tristan.” He glared at me. “I’m only saying.” I stood up and walked away. I found Prior who was watering some of the horses. “He’s being an ass.”

“What else is new?” He grinned. I laughed. “When we hear from Caro he’ll settle down. That usually helps.” I nodded.

“Still, it’s irritating,” I sighed.

“I need to ask you something.” He looked at me,”Annalise has been Dreaming.”

“That’s normal, out here,” I said. “We’re close to the gods.” He nodded. “What about?”

“She won’t tell me,” he said. “I don’t want to push her, but it might help, and I don’t know how to broach it.” I frowned.

“You shouldn’t have told me, to begin with,” I said. “She’s very private about it.” He exhaled.

“I know,” he sighed. “It’s frightening, though, when it happens.” I looked at him. “I want to help her.”

“You do help her, Prior,” I said. “Just being there helps.” He looked down. “Aaron says that she used to scream for hours.”

“It doesn’t go on that long,” he said. I looked at him. “I love her, Athena.”

“I know that,” I said. “You still shouldn’t have told me.” He laughed. “Aaron thinks the two of you are being foolish.” He looked at me.

“And what do you think?” He asked. “Everyone knows you were Team Harran.”

“Yes, having Annalise married to my best friend would have been convenient,” I said. He laughed. “But you’re better for her.” I gripped the fence and stretched. “But after Eric and my brother,” he sighed. “You can’t ever leave her, Prior, you can’t even think about it. I don’t think she’d survive it again, not her heart, at least. And Annalise’s heart is the best part of her. She’s already so much colder and closed than she was when we first met her.” He nodded. “When she’s with you though, I see it, she’s full of light again.”

“Her aura?” He asked.

“Cornan no,” I shook my head, “mine doesn’t work like that. I just see it, she unclenches, she relaxes, her whole demeanor changes. You’re good for her, and I disagree with Tristan that she can only hurt you, like I said, I think if you leave her, it will break her.”

“I’m not going to leave her,” he said. I smiled sadly.

“Tristan said that,” I said, “and Eric. They both did. And losing my sister, my queen, Lisette,” I shrugged, “that would be hard enough, but losing The Sword? We’d all be doomed.” I looked at him. “So, don’t leave her, and don’t hurt her.” He smiled. “And don’t tell me things she wants kept private. I’d disembowel Aaron if he went to Annalise with my secrets.”

“Aren’t you glad to know?” He asked. “Even a little?” I shook my head.

“Yes, a little,” I said. It was useful to know she was Dreaming, since Marina noteably wasn’t, beyond her vision of Amina.

Worry

Annalise

“You’re allowed to be worried about her,” Prior said to me that night. I looked at him.

“She says she’s alright,” I whispered, “I can’t just say that she’s not. She knows her own mind.” He looked at me.

“You can still worry,” he said. “You don’t have to tell Marina that you’re worried about her.” I smiled and lay down with him.

“You’re very bad at this,” I said. He laughed.

“How so?” He whispered.

“You’re supposed to talk about how Marina is very strong and can stand on her own and doesn’t need me,” I explained.

“Ah,” he kissed me. “Noted.” I laughed. “But you know, I worry about you, nearly constantly, and I know there’s very little that you can’t handle.”

“You worry about me,” I said rolling over and facing him. He smiled.

“Oh constantly,” he whispered and kissed me. “If I valued my sanity I’d have found a woman with far less to worry about.” I whacked him in the chest. “I worry when I’m not with you, and when I am, I worry more, because I see what you carry.”

He saw so much. How had I found him?

“Prior,” I whispered.

“Annalise,” he whispered back.

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” I managed softly. He smiled and kissed me again.

“Took you long enough.” He murmured. I laughed and snuggled into his arms.

“Don’t be smug,” I whispered. “It doesn’t suit you.” I fell asleep wrapped up in him.

I Dreamed that I was standing on a pebbly beach, covered in snow and the sea was raging. Angry, heavy waves, crashing against icebergs and cliff shores around me.

“Rana,” I screamed out, “please say something!”

“What is left to say?” I turned my head and startled back seeing Brayton. He looked older, obviously, so it wasn’t a memory, this was real. He’d grown a beard and it had flecks of grey. “You’ve grown up, Cousin.”

“Where are you?” I asked. He cocked his head to the side.

“I know Caleb taught you better than that,” he tsked. “Coming right at me head on. Honestly, Lisette.”

“Don’t call me that,” I snapped. He smirked.

“Sensitive,” he said, “you’ve grown so beyond that?” I swallowed. “I’ve missed these talks of ours.”

“I somehow doubt it,” I mumbled. “Did she punish you?” He looked down.

“Yes,” he said.

“Was it painful?” I stared at him. He nodded. “Good.”

“Vindictive,” he said softly, “that’s new.” I sighed and looked at him. “I am not at fault for Eric of Phania leaving you. You have other enemies.”

“I am aware of that,” I whispered. “But you once told me that I didn’t know what it felt like when love went sour.” He looked at me. “I know that now.”

“You have a new love,” he teased, “or so I hear.” I glared at him.

“Don’t touch him,” I hissed.

“I’m not interested in Allred’s brats,” Brayton laughed. “Wyatt was always useless, I can’t imagine those boys are good for much either.” I frowned. “I hadn’t thought of using them for stud of course.”

“That’s disgusting,” I said. He shrugged.

“I’m not judging,” he said. “But it’s an interesting development.” I rolled my eyes and then woke up to Prior shushing me and stroking my hair while I thrashed and screamed.

“Annalise,” Prior whispered, “it’s alright love, it’s alright.” I realized he’d never seen me in a full Dream before and I started crying, clinging to him. “I’m here, sweetheart, it’s alright. Can you tell me what you saw?”

“No,” I said, “not yet, please just hold me,” he nodded and held me closer. I was shaking, my heart racing. I realized this was the first time I’d had this kind of Dream reaction with Prior in my bed. He was taking it well.

“I’m here, love,” he whispered and kissed my hair. “I’m here.” I looked up at him.

“I’m scared,” I mumbled.

“I’ll keep you safe,” he whispered. “Always.” Something deep in me, calmed. I believed him, all of me did.

The Dark Lady

Marina

As we ride to the first Westran camp that we’re visiting I notice a few things. Athena and Prior are both fruitlessly trying to cheer Tristan up, and most people wouldn’t notice because the difference between Tristan in a good mood and Tristan in a bad mood isn’t perceptible to most.

The other is that Brea and Lisette seem to be getting along.

“I think it’s a sign of the end times,” Aaron said to me, when Annalise laughed at something she said. I shook my head.

“They’re very alike,” Nika pointed out. “I’ve always assumed it was a matter of time before something broke and they became friends.” I smiled at her. “Or they killed each other, I never knew which it would be.” I laughed.

Nika and I seem to have found some balance, and I’m glad for it. I still miss her as my lover, but I’d also missed her as my friend and I have that at least.

“What changed?” I cocked my head to the side watching them.

“Damned if I know,” Harran sighed, “but it’s a relief.” I laughed. “I agree with Nika it was this or death.” I dismounted. “Is everything alright, Duchess?”

“I need to walk for a while,” I said. “I can’t explain it.” They nodded and I walked ahead of the group quickly. Trees were fewer and farther between, but I could feel the water rushing through each of them. But I couldn’t hear her, not even a whisper.

I wasn’t Dreaming. Normally in Westran the dreams flood in, I can barely focus, but it’s just silence, everything feels cut off and strange.

The off feelings started when I stopped hearing from Damian, and they’ve only gotten worse. I don’t know how to express it either, which is frustrating, there just seems to be something growing in my mind.

“Hello Little One,” I turned at the voice and saw Amina standing in front of me. Her pale skin and hair down around her shoulders and her tight black gown.

“Hello,” I said.

“You’re not afraid?” She smiled. I swallowed.

“Should I be?” I asked. She sighed.

“I should have claimed you,” she said, “why I let my sister,” she placed a cold hand against my cheek. “Things are shifting though.”

“Is that what I’m feeling?” I asked. She smiled.

“I hadn’t realized you were feeling anything else,” she said, “but I suppose so. We’ll speak again soon.” I blinked and she was gone.

“Marina,” Tristan ran over to me, “you shouldn’t go ahead like that, it isn’t safe.” I stared at him. “A messenger arrived, Caro got to Dorin.”

“I need to talk to Lisette,” I said, “and Raymond.” He frowned at me.

“Marina,” he said softly, and went to take my hand. I jerked back.

“Don’t touch me,” I said, “no one should, I can’t.” I walked back to the group and found Annalise sitting with Brea. “Lisette, I need,” I swallowed. She looked at me. “I just saw Amina.”

“What?” Annalise stood up.

“I was walking and I was trying to center, and I haven’t been able to lately,” I swallowed, “and then she was just there. She said things were shifting,” I exhaled. Brea sighed.

“The alarm that you all use around the Dark Lady is so tiresome,” she stood up and brushed off her robes. “She can’t hurt you, you’re alive. She’s frustrated by that fact, I am sure.”

“She touched me,” I growled. Brea’s eyes opened wide.

“Oh,” she said, “well, that is different, then.” I nodded.

“She touched you?” Annalise asked. I nodded. “And you didn’t faint? Or send out light?”

“No,” I said, “her hand felt cold, but then she disappeared.” I sighed. “I don’t know, I’ve been feeling something for ages, and I think it might be whatever this shift she was talking about is.”

“Do you think it’s got something to do with Rastan?” Annalise asked. I shrugged.

“I don’t know, I wish I did.” I sighed. “Can we stop for the day, or do we need to press on further?” Brea bit her bottom lip.

“I’ll check with Harran,” she said, “I’m sure we can rest for now.” She walked away. Annalise hugged me tightly.

“Why are you and Brea being friends?” I asked. “It’s really alarming all of us.” She laughed.

“I’ve decided if Prior and Tristan can be actual partners,” she sighed, “I can at least be pleasant.” I raised my eyebrows. “I’m going to try with Caro too, when she comes back.”

“That is big of you,” I nodded.

“I know,” she whispered. “Are you alright?” I shook my head.

“No,” I whispered. “But there’s not a lot to be done about it for the moment.” She sighed. “I’ll be fine, but I want to figure this out.” I sighed. “What if I’m hers now?” I said. She presses her forehead to mine, that confident smile of hers clear as crystal.

“I refuse,” Annalise says. “Even if she wanted you, wouldn’t the pledges protect us?”

“It should,” Raymond snuck up on us. “That pledge is strong magic. Marina would have to break it herself.”

“Don’t do that,” Annalise said. He grinned and looked at me and held out his hands.

“Hands, Marina,” he said.

“Do the Mastero vows do it?” Annalise muttered. He looked at her. “Make you into an insufferable bossy infant with no manners?” He chuckled as I lay my hands on his.

“You’re not carrying any shadow,” he said. I nodded. He knew it was what I was most worried about. Damian carried shadow with him for months after Brayton attacked him.

“Thank you,” I said softly. He nodded.

Careful

Carolina

I stood in our room at the keep packing my things into my trunk and mentally composing the letter to Emily I had to write I heard Tristan walk in.

“Are you going to argue with me?” I asked. He sighed.

“No,” he whispered and came to hold me from behind. “I don’t want you to go, but I won’t argue with you.” I swallowed and closed my eyes.

“You could come with me,” I said.

“I want to,” he said.

“It would be like when we were in Dorin,” I said, “we’d be away from everything. We could start over.”

“I’m going to try to come with Marina,” he said, “a few weeks after you.” I sighed.

“Oh,” I said softly.

“It isn’t what you think,” he said as I pulled away. “Caro,” he said. I turned and looked at him.

“You’re choosing her, and Annalise,” I said, “I’m not surprised, Tristan, but it’s still irritating.” He sighed and sat down.

“Caro, I can’t,” he said. I looked at him. “I have to be present to explain why I won’t be returning after these visits.” I exhaled.

“Oh,” I whispered. He nodded.

“You surprised everyone,” he said gently as I snuggled into his lap.

“I surprised me,” I sighed, “and promising Alex and Emily,” I exhaled. “I don’t know what got into me.”

“It’s quite brave,” he smiled and kissed me. I smiled. “Alex won’t object, he’ll bring you.” I nodded. “And I’ll miss you.”

“I always miss you,” I whispered, “every time you go.” He kissed me. “Brea must be furious.” He laughed.

“Probably,” he said softly, I weaved my fingers into his. “You’ll go with the messenger?”

“I think so,” I said. “I’ll have to spend at least a few days in Dorin.”

Get to, you get to spend a few days in Dorin, I’m jealous,” he smiled. I smiled. I did miss it sometimes. “Will you see your father?” He asked. I shook my head.

“Not if I can help it,” I said, “my mother though. And your aunts and uncles.” He nodded. “I’ll walk along the harbor, and go to our park.” He kissed me.

“Don’t you dare go to that park without me,” he whispered. I giggled. “Promise.” I kissed him again. “Gods, I wish I could go with you.”

“I’d let you finish undressing me now,” I said. My heart was beating quickly, remembering Tristan removing my shirt and suckling on me, unsure what he wanted with me, but desperate to be closer to him. “I have to finish packing. And then probably meet with Marina and Annalise.” He sighed and leaned back.

“I should stop you,” he said. “I know I can’t, but I have a bad feeling Caro.” I kissed him gently.

“I’ll come back later, we’ll say goodbye,” he nodded. I walked back out to where Annalise was sitting looking up at the stars. “He’s upset with me.”

“What’s that like?” She grinned and I laughed. “He worries about you. He worries about everything.” I smiled and nodded. We so rarely talked like this.

“Emily says you probably prayed for my death.” I said, wanting to fill the silence. She smirked at me.

“Not your death,” she said. “Nothing that extreme. I wished that you’d hate him, or you’d be deformed so he wouldn’t look at you or a simpleton so he’d be bored, or at least not so gods damned wonderful so I could dislike you more. Brea’s been very obliging by being unpleasant all these years.” I laughed.

“I could have been unpleasant,” I shrugged, “I once cornered Marina and screamed at her and basically called her a betraying whore.” Annalise sighed.

“I was furious with both of them about that night,” she admitted and pulled the shawl she was wearing around her shoulders. “As if it had anything to do with me.” I smiled.

“Everything we all do has something to do with you,” I sighed softly.

“Now you sound like Aaron,” she shook her head. I shrugged. “Do you agree with Tristan, about me and Prior?”

“No,” I whispered. “I don’t actually. I think he’s being ridiculous. Do you agree with him?”

“Sometimes,” she said softly, “I think I don’t know my own mind anymore. There were so many things I was so certain of, and now I’m lost.” I looked at her. “May I ask you something without any judgement?” I nodded. “William?” I looked down and laughed.

“What are you asking?” I asked. She smirked. “I’m going to make you say it, Your Majesty.”

“What is he like?” She asked. “I’m so curious. I was so innocent when he was pursuing me I didn’t even know he was doing it. I have to imagine that translates to everything.”

“He’s gifted.” I smiled. She laughed. “Very,” I smiled and leaned back, “responsive.” She nodded. “He was sweet, which, well, I’d never really had before.” She looked oddly at me. “Tristan’s always so urgent, so overwhelming. And Andrei,” I closed my eyes. “I didn’t know it then but I could have been anybody, it was just about him.”

“Marina used to say he was attentive,” she smirked at me. I smiled. “I can understand why you did it. Tristan doesn’t know what being left feels like.”

“He’s about to,” I said and she rested her head on my shoulder. “He’ll come to you. Maybe not right away, but he will, and I’m ready for that, I’ve always been ready for that.”

“I won’t take him,” she said. “Maybe I could have, but now,” she shook her head. “Now I’d be hurting Prior.” She stood up. “What do you think about Rastan?”

“I think it’s very odd that none of them came to Dovetail, ever,” I said. “And now they’ve issued an invitation that cannot be ignored.” She nodded. “I don’t trust it.”

“Me neither,” she said. “You’ll watch carefully?”

“I always do,” I smiled. I went back to my room, and saw my things already packed. I smiled. Tristan wasn’t there but he’d done something so small to support me. I curled up to sleep, and eventually he came and wrapped his arms around me from behind.

We didn’t make love, but this was better.

Wedding

Annalise

I swallowed sitting beside Harran’s brothers as he and Brea exchanged their vows. He looked unbelievably happy. The blue and green gown I’d had made and the veil wrapped around my head felt itchy and like my body was rejecting it. Rian looked at me and smiled.

Harran had told me once that when he’d come to me Rian had attempted to court Brea. He seemed to be the only person besides me who wasn’t over the moon. Did he love her? Had they been together at all? Had she tried to love him and failed the way I had Harran?

Prior smiled at me and I felt my cheeks flush. He’d warned me about how he was out here, but he’d undersold it. Last night I’m surprised we hadn’t woken the whole keep with our activities in bed. And against the wall. And on the floor by the fire. And in the bath.

If Prior was at all insecure of his position in my life, he was making himself indispensable in pleasure alone.

Harran was vowing to love and honor Brea, and she was radiant, dressed in a white robe. As Nika had said, she was veiled, but it was lighly draped over her long dark hair, rather than wrapped like Nika’s or the one I was wearing.

“And so before the gods, and your tribes,” Lady Anaia said, binding their hands, “I bind you to one another. As long as your hearts beat, may you bring one another joy.” They kissed to seal the bond and we applauded.

After we were sitting at the feast and Prior came and sat beside me.

“You did well,” he grinned. “I only saw you grimace at the bride twice.”

“Most people weren’t looking at me,” I said. He leaned close to me. “Prior.”

“Everyone was looking at you,” he said, “at least everyone who’s sane.”

“You are clearly not,” I shook my head with a giggle and kissed him. “I can’t imagine you want more after last night.” He grinned. “Prior,” I said, “I can’t leave.”

“Yet,” he said, “I intend to have you every night for the foreseeable future, Annalise.” I smiled. “Now, what was that about leaving?” I rolled my eyes.

“I’ll be missed,” I said and stood up with my goblet to go have it refilled. “But if you want to go prepare for me,” he laughed and pulled me into his lap. “I need more whiskey.”

“You do not,” he pressed a kiss against my neck. “You need me.” I sighed and leaned back into him and heard Brea giggle as Harran lifted her up and music was playing. I suddenly realized what he was doing.

“Prior,” I whispered. He hummed into my hair. “I adore you for what you’re trying to do, but you cannot distract me from having feelings about this wedding with sex.” He turned my head and kissed me.

“Are you sure about that?” He whispered. I laughed.

“Yes,” I stood up. “I am.” I walked over and poured more into my goblet. Aaron walked over and looked at me. “Prior is trying to distract me with sex.”

“Well that won’t work,” Aaron said. I nodded.

“I know, I’ve outgrown that sort of thing,” I smiled.

“No you haven’t,” he snorted, “it won’t work because sex distraction is what you did with Harran.” I kicked him and he laughed. “Lisette, you’re handling this better than any of us thought you would.” I sighed.

“Thank you,” I said softly. “I don’t know how you thought I’d be handling it, because I don’t think I’m handling it well at all.” He slipped his arm around my shoulder. “If Eric announces that he’s marrying some debutante his sister in law picked out I’m not going.”

“You’ll go if you’re invited,” Aaron snorted.

“I will not,” I said. “And I’m not inviting him when I marry Prior. I’ve decided it’s cruel, to have former lovers at your wedding.”

“Mm,” Aaron nodded. “You have to invite him.” I sighed. “Well, you have to invite Elana and Daniel and then you have to welcome whoever they send. Which might not be Eric.”

“You aren’t being helpful either,” I said. “At least Prior’s tactic is fun for me.” We looked at Harran. “He looks so happy.”

“He’s in love,” Aaron shrugged.

“Not possible,” I shook my head with a smirk, “being in love doesn’t make you that happy. Being in love is torture. It’s having your heart pulled out of your chest over and over.” He looked at me and laughed. “In my experience.”

“When we were young,” Aaron said softly, “and Harran came to Pantona, I was furious with Father.” I looked at him. “It was such a risk, Lisette.” I smiled. “I was ranting and shouting about your safety and your future, and what was he thinking? And how could we trust this person?” I laughed.

“You were jealous,” I said. He shrugged.

“You were mine,” he said, “and you were following Harran around like a puppy and he liked it far too much.” I smiled. “But I remember what my father said,” I looked at him, “Aaron, we didn’t save her to keep her in a cage, we saved her so that she could live.” I smiled.

“I miss him so much,” I said softly. “He’d be so proud of you, Aaron. He’d be absurd about Calla.” He threw his head back.

“Her feet wouldn’t have touched the ground yet.” He grinned. I laughed. “We didn’t save you to keep you in a cage. But I feel like you’ve put yourself in one.” I looked at him.

“I’m not in a cage,” I said. “I do need some air though.” I rushed outside and exhaled my hand on my belly. Maybe I had had too much whiskey.

“Annalise?” I turned and saw Brea. “Are you alright?”

“I don’t know,” I whispered. She nodded and walked over. She helped me to a bench and sat me down. “Your guests.”

“Please,” she said, and waved her hand dismissively, “half the reason to marry a man like Harran is because he can handle that sort of thing.” I laughed.

“You look beautiful,” I said softly, my breath was still shallow. She nodded.

“Well, yes, I’m me,” she said. “You’re alright, keep breathing,” I nodded. “He was so glad you agreed to come. We were worried that you wouldn’t.” I looked at her.

“Really?” I said. She nodded.

“I know I’m not your favorite person,” she said. I smiled. “And I hated you for years before I ever saw you.” I laughed again. “I am absolutely serious. When he came back from Pantona all he could talk about was Lisette, this amazing girl. Ask Nika, I was furious. Who was this Cammadie girl, how dare she make him fall in love with her?” I smiled. “It took me two years to get him to see me again. And then the word came, you weren’t some farm girl who he’d shared puppy love with you were the queen. And you wanted him.” I looked at her. “I hated you for wanting him. I hated him for going to you. I hated the gods for making you queen, I hated my family for trying to comfort me.” She exhaled. “Oh and poor Rian, I hated him the most.” I looked at her. “Rian, coming to me, sitting next to me at feasts, greeting me every time we arrived. Trying to make me smile.” She exhaled. “Oh I hated him so much for that.” I swallowed. “But I’m not,” she exhaled, “I don’t get to be angry, to hate that way. I’m the shiny, bright light, I shine so that Nika can be seen.” She swallowed. “She gets to be angry and grumpy and hate people.” She looked at me. “So I smiled, and I twinkled and I hated you.” I laughed.

“I can take it,” I smirked.

“I know,” she stood up. “Meanwhile you have your own Rian to deal with.” I raised my eyebrows. “Prior Chastain is a good man, Annalise, but he isn’t the man for you.” I sighed.

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” I said.

“Because it’s true,” Brea shrugged. “And you know I’m being honest because I hate you.” I smiled. “Now come on, because I cannot allow Nika to continue this ruse that she and Marina are alright.” I stifled a laugh. “What happened there?”

“Oh nothing particularly exciting,” I said as we drifted back into the hall. “Nika found her snuggling with Tristan and reached her breaking point.”

“Ah yes,” Brea said with a nod. “I could have seen that coming.” She looked at me. “I once swore to curse Marina if she ever hurt my sister.”

“Please don’t,” I said, “trust me, loving Tristan is enough of a curse.” She laughed. “I am happy for you.” She smirked at me. “Well, I’m happy Harran is happy.”

“Try not to choke,” she grinned.

Interlude: The Safe Place

Content WarningThis story contains references to and descriptions of Domestic Child Abuse. If you are aware of or suffering from Child Abuse, please contact your state CPS, (A list of United States CPS Agencies can be found at childwelfare.gov) or if you are in crisis contact the Crisis Text Line at 741-741

Caleb

Viscount Caleb Pantona was not looking forward to dinner that evening.

“Her name is Lady Olivia Bano,” his mother had said, helping him into his jacket. He sighed. “I met her last week at the palace. I think you’ll enjoy her.”

“Carmine Bano’s daughter?” Caleb asked. His mother nodded. “Carmine Bano is opportunistic scum” His mother laughed.

“True, but that’s hardly the girl’s fault,” she kissed him on the cheek. “You need to marry, Caleb. I had hopes for you and Anne Brightcoast, but that Phanian friend of yours turned her head and she’s not coming back.” Caleb smiled. Anne would have been a good match, and her falling in love with Lestat Sanpierre was indeed inconvenient.

“So this is every night this winter then?” He asked. She nodded. “Bring on the debutantes, I suppose. Anton’s bound to disappoint a few of them.”

“That’s the spirit,” she smirked.

Caleb stood up as Carmine Bano and his daughter entered. Lady Olivia was wearing a simple white gown and her long red hair was down her back. Caleb thought he might swallow his tongue. She was almost otherworldly beautiful.

“Caleb,” his father said. Caleb cleared his throat and walked over to Lady Olivia.

“My lady,” he said, “I’m glad to finally meet you.” She raised an eyebrow as he kissed her hand.

“Your Grace,” she said, “I hadn’t realized my presence was anticipated.” He smiled. She was clever too.

“A beautiful woman’s presence is always anticipated,” he pointed out. She smirked. He spent dinner doing his best to engage her so she didn’t think he was a blithering idiot but he was reasonably sure he failed.

Olivia

Olivia smiled to herself the next morning as she drank her tea thinking of Viscount Caleb. She didn’t want him, but of her father’s assortment he was certainly the best. Tall, with auburn hair that curled at the ends and clear blue eyes, he also had a boyish face and an easy laugh.

“Oh Good,” John Dugarry walked in, “you’re alive.” She looked at him and giggled. “Anton and Tom will be thrilled.”

“I didn’t realize they were so concerned about my whereabouts,” she said as he sat down. “My father wanted to introduce me to some of his friends.”

“Ah,” John nodded. “Of course.” She swallowed. “Did he hurt you again?” She looked away and shook her head. “Livvie,” he said softly. “If he does, you should.”

“He wants what’s best for me,” she said. “Are you here to escort me to the palace?”

“You don’t miss anything,” he grinned. Her father walked in. “Ah, hello Lord Bano.”

“Captain Dugarry,” he said, “may I have a moment with my daughter?” John nodded and excused himself. “What does he want?”

“The Prince wants to see me,” she went to stand up, “I shouldn’t keep him waiting,” her father grabbed her wrist and she twitched. “Papa,” she whispered.

“You aren’t some tavern wench he can summon whenever he wants you,” he hissed. “Remember that, remind him of that.” Olivia nodded and he let go. She followed after her. She pulled her sleeve down and walked out with John.

“Your father’s friends,” John said. She looked at him. “So Careton?”

“Obviously,” she said. He nodded.

“Then I’d guess, Wallace, Allred,” he smirked. She sighed and nodded. “But you haven’t been to the palace in four nights so I’m missing someone.”

“Pantona,” she said softly. He laughed.

“Well, Careton’s too old, Wallace doesn’t like women, and Allred is an idiot,” he said, “Caleb Pantona though, that’s a real threat. Anton should be worried.”

“He shouldn’t,” she said. John smirked at her. “He could have come to see me himself.”

“I told him as much,” John shrugged.

“Is he serious?” She asked. “You’d know, he tells you everything.” She looked away, she hated herself for asking.

“I think he’s considering being serious,” John said. “Tom is serious. Deadly serious.” She nodded. They’d all been friends, before. John was still her friend. She wished she could pinpoint when and what exactly had changed. And she wished it didn’t give her a knot in her stomach.

Caleb

That night Caleb walked into the palace hall and looked around. He’d gone by Bano house first had been informed that Lord Bano and Lady Olivia weren’t there. He hoped they were here but he knew there was no guarantee of that either.

“Caleb?” Anne Brightcoast walked up to him, surprised. “What on earth on you doing here?” She hugged him.

“I got to town a few days ago,” he explained. “I’m sorry I haven’t been to see you.”

“Hm,” she frowned. “I’ll forgive you if you walk me in. I can’t take another night of suitors.” Caleb smile and took her arm.

“You’ll tell Les I was taking care of you,” he said. She shot him a look. “My mother is terribly disappointed, by the way.”

“About Les?” She said. “So kind of her to be so invested in my happiness.” He barked a laugh. “Just your mother then?”

“Well, I agree with her that it would be tidy,” he pointed out, “but I do want you to be happy, and I’m not the man for that particular job.” She sighed as he glanced around the hall.

“You’re looking for someone!” She gasped. He sighed loudly. “Caleb, are you in love?”

“I wouldn’t go that far, I’m just,” he frowned. “We had Carmine Bano and his daughter to dinner last night.” She frowned. “I wanted to say hello.”

“Olivia Bano?” She said. “Well, I know where you’ll find her.” He followed as she pointed to the front of the room. Lady Olivia was sitting beside Prince Anton, who was whispering in her ear and making her giggle. She looked outstandingly lovely, her dark auburn hair piled on her head and an elaborate blue gown rustling with her every move. He swallowed. “Of course as it’s Anton, I’m sure he’ll have moved on in a week or so, he usually does, but then there’s Tom Martin.” His eyes got wide.

“Tom Martin?” He said. Anne nodded. “So you’re saying the first girl I’ve found interesting in, well, ever, is being pursued by the crown prince and Cornan’s chosen champion?”

“Unfortunately,” she sighed. “But by all means say hello. She’ll probably enjoy it. You’re reasonably good looking and charming when you want to be,” She kissed him on the cheek and floated away.

Olivia

“Anton, stop,” Olivia said softly with a giggle as he kissed behind her ear gently. “Everyone’s looking.” They’d spent the afternoon in his room, she didn’t know what she was going to tell Tom, but it had been fun. She didn’t really expect more than fun from Anton, as much as she loved him.

“Let them,” he grinned, his grey eyes sparkling, “why shouldn’t everyone know I adore you?” She silenced him with a look and he leaned back. “Fine then, but you can’t disappear for a week like that again.”

“I wanted to be here,” she said, “but I can’t,” she exhaled, “my father.” She thought of the bruise forming on her wrist from where he’d grabbed her earlier. Did Anton see it?

“He doesn’t approve?” He teased.

“He has plans,” she said softly, “and I’m not sure he believes you’re serious about me.” Anton smiled. “And as I know you aren’t serious about anyone, well,” she shrugged.

“I could be serious,” he said. She picked up her wine and shook her head and laughed. “Gods, why is Caleb Pantona coming over here?” Olivia swallowed. The Viscount looked even more handsome tonight than he had before. His height and long limbs moved gracefully and his deep bow was mesmerizing.

“Your Highness,” Viscount Caleb said with a smile, but he was making eye contact with Olivia. She blushed.

“Viscount,” Anton said, he sounded annoyed. Olivia couldn’t help but be amused. “You know Lady Olivia Bano, I assume?”

“Of course, My Lady,” he took her hand and kissed it.

“Your Grace,” she said, “The Viscount’s parents had my father and me for dinner yesterday. I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.”

“I went to see you this afternoon but I believe you were already out,” The Viscount smiled, “but I was hoping to at least claim a dance.”

“Of course,” Olivia smiled. Anton was scowling. Viscount Caleb bowed again.

“Livvie,” Anton said, “you’re spoken for!” She straightened her shoulders.

“Am I?” She said. He growled something about being as good as. “Oh, you’re being ridiculous, it’s a dance Anton, I’ll dance with you and Tom too.”

“I don’t see what Tom has to do with it at all,” he glared. She rolled her eyes. Boys were impossible.

Olivia had had enough of watching Anton be absorbed by that Phanian girl, and she was angry at Tom for leaving without a thought to how it would effect them. She knew she had to explain something to her father. He’d be furious about Anton so she rushed into the hall.

“Lady Olivia,” Viscount Caleb of Pantona walked out of the library. She looked at him. “I didn’t realize you were still here.”

“I was looking for my father,” she said, “I wanted to say goodnight.”

“He retired about an hour ago,” he said. She exhaled. “If you’d like, I’ll walk you to your rooms.”

“I’d like that very much,” she said softly. It wouldn’t hurt to flirt with him a little. “Why are you still awake?” He laughed.

“I don’t sleep well,” he said, “so court life obviously suits me.” She nodded. “You?”

“I was waiting for Anton,” she said softly, “I lost track of time, obviously he did too.” He nodded. “Are you staying all summer?”

“No,” he said, “I have to get home for harvest at some point.” She cocked her head to the side. “That surprises you?”

“A little,” she said, “most of the men who,” she stopped, “I just assumed you spent most of your time in Dovetail, I mean.” He laughed lightly.

“Finish your thought,” he said, “most of the men your father threw at you.” She blushed and looked down. “I’m not an idiot, Lady Olivia,” he said, “I’m an excellent prospect and you’re hardly the first girl from a Dovetail family I’ve been flung at.” She giggled and looked up at him. “Most of them aren’t as pretty as you though.”

“Well done,” she said as they reached her door. “I’ve never seen anyone pivot quite that well.” He smiled.

“Not even Prince Anton,” he said, “or Commander Martin,” she blushed again. “I happen to be telling the truth,” he said and turned her face up, “but I think you know that. I think you’re quite aware you’re the most beautiful girl in every room you walk into.” She frowned. He’d been so honest and easy earlier, now it felt like he was flattering her and she didn’t like it.

“What do you want from me?” She said. “Besides what every other man does when he sees that girl walking in the room I mean.” He frowned, then.

“I don’t want anything from you,” he said, “why would I?” She bit her bottom lip. “Like I said before, I’m an excellent prospect, I can get that anywhere,” she swallowed, “I want you to see me, Lady Olivia,” he said, “All I care about is if you want me, if you want to be with me.” She swallowed and quickly turned and opened the door and rushed in. Her father was sitting in an arm chair with a glass of something brown in his hand.

“You’re late,” he muttered.

“I was waiting for Prince Anton,” she said softly, “I didn’t want to be rude.” He nodded. “And then I was coming back and ran into Viscount Caleb,” he stood up. “He walked me back.”

“The Duke of Careton went home tonight.” She swallowed. “He’s marrying some tenant’s daughter.” She looked down. “Did he apologize? The Prince. He made a fool of you tonight.” She exhaled, she wanted to say the right thing. He grabbed her chin. “Olivia, answer me.”

“No,” she said, “of course not, and it isn’t,” she exhaled, “he was only being polite, I’m sure.”

“And the Viscount? Are you more certain there?” He said. She looked down and then felt the heavy slap across her face. “Anton made you his whore, and now he’s moved on, so I suggest you fix it.” She nodded. “Go to sleep, I can’t stand the sight of you.” She rushed to her room and cried herself to sleep, not even changing out of her gown.

Caleb

Caleb had gone to leave when he heard shouting from the other side of the door. Then the slap and whimper. He froze. He ought to break the door down. He’s noticed certain things. The way she flinched when her father went to touch her, bruises here or there. He hadn’t wanted to believe it. But now, well, there was just no denying it.

He went to find her the next morning and found her sitting in a courtyard reading.

“Hello,” she looked up at him with a smile, but her eyes were still rimmed with red. He looked serious. “Is something wrong Your Grace?”

“I don’t know quite where to begin,” he said, “are you alright?” She swallowed.

“My feelings are a little hurt,” she said, she was trying to tease. “Anton does get distracted, but usually not quite so seriously. And with Tom and John leaving,” she swallowed. “We’ll have plenty of time to get to know one another better, I suppose.”

“That isn’t what I meant,” he whispered, and took her hand. “You can trust me.” She swallowed and stood up. “Please, Olivia, trust me.” She looked at him.

“My father lost his temper last night,” she said, “that’s all.” He looked at her. “I just have to get through the next few months, and I thought,” he exhaled. “But if Anton isn’t,” she exhaled. “I’m engaged. My father doesn’t know, he thinks I’m still, that Anton and I,” He nodded.

“But you can’t marry Tom Martin if your father beats you to death,” Caleb said gently. She stared at him. “Does he know?” She shook her head. “The Prince?” She shook it again. “Gods.” He whispered and went to hold her. “Always come to me, I’ll protect you.” She looked up at him.

“You don’t hate me?” She said. “I’d be using you!” He smiled gently.

“You’re welcome to,” he said, “I don’t feel punished by spending time with you.” She looked up at him. “I feel a little selfish, for wanting you to hide with me.” He cupped a hand gently against her face. “But I can help you Olivia, I can keep you safe, let me.”

Olivia

Olivia paced in her bedroom, Anton and Marie had announced their engagement. She was thrilled for them. Marie had asked her to served as Lady in waiting, she was honored. She’d watched the boy she once hoped to marry grow into a man who deeply loved someone, even if it was someone else.

But now she was away from the crowd and all she could feel was dread. Caleb had been watching her carefully all night, it was the only thing that had made her feel calm.

“OLIVIA!” Her father’s voice bellowed through the house. She swallowed as he opened the door, holding a leather strap.

“Papa, please,” she whispered, “please, I won’t,” but all her begging and pleading didn’t stop it, and the next thing she remembered she was standing on the front step of his house. She hadn’t changed, hadn’t done anything, just run.

Caleb

“Olivia?” Caleb said opening the door. “Come inside, darling what is it?” She was sobbing. “I’ll take your cloak.” He reached for it and she flinched.

“No,” she said, “I shouldn’t have come here, but I didn’t know,” she paused. “There wasn’t anywhere else.” He carefully touched her face.

“Come along,” he said softly, ushering her to a parlor. “Do you want tea? Something stronger.” He noticed the way the cloak was sticking to her. “Gods,” he whispered, and carefully peeled it off of her and saw her ruined gown and the gashes bleeding on her back. He was furious. He’d murder her father, if he thought it would help. “You need a healer, I’ll send to the university.”

“No,” she said, stopping him from ringing the bell. “I just,” she swallowed, “I need to get cleaned up, but I was,” she looked down. “I thought he was going to kill me, Caleb, I don’t know what to do.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” he said. “You’ll stay here.” She swallowed.

“Anton can’t know,” she said panicking and standing up wringing her hands. “He’ll think it’s his fault and it isn’t. Marie’s wonderful and he loves her,” she paced. “Tom is so far away and he hasn’t written in weeks.” He stood up and took her hands.

“Look at me,” he whispered, “you need a healer, or you’ll get infected. No one has to know if you don’t want them to.” She was still sobbing and gasping. He grabbed the bell and rang it. A girl with dark auburn hair walked in. “Go to The University and ask for a healer to come, a woman if you can manage it. And have a bath drawn and get one of my mother’s robes for Lady Olivia.” The girl nodded and rushed out. She swallowed and pressed her head against his chest. “Everything is going to be fine.”

“How?” She whispered. “He’s going to kill me,” she whispered.

“No,” he said softly, “I promise you, that won’t happen.”

Caleb sat watching the healer work over Olivia’s back, glaring at him occasionally. He didn’t blame her, it certainly looked as though he’d had something to do with this.

“You’ll be fine,” the healer said, “there’ll be scars but nothing anyone but a lover would ever see.” Olivia nodded and sat up. “Viscount.” The Healer slipped out. Olivia looked at him.

“Thank you,” she said softly. He nodded.

“Get some rest,” he whispered. “You won’t have to wear my mother’s things for long, yours will be here in the morning.” She nodded. He walked out of the room and then to the large Bano townhouse and marched in to where Olivia’s father was sitting, far too calmly, staring at the fire. “A moment, sir?”

“This is unexpected,” Carmine Bano looked at him. “Did you bring her back or do you intend to keep her?” Caleb looked at him and grabbed him from the chair and shoved him against the wall.

“She won’t be coming back here,” Caleb said, nearly growling, his hand around this man’s throat. “And if you ever try to get near her again, I’ll kill you, very simply, very cleanly.” He stepped back. “As far as your daughter is concerned, her father died tonight. Get whoever it is you pay to keep their mouths shut about whipping a girl nearly to death to pack Olivia’s things and have them sent to my house. This game is over.” He stood up and stalked out of the house and then back home.

He’d be damned before he let anyone ever hurt her again.

Olivia

Olivia woke up and twitched. Her back was still tingling, and all she could think of was the awful sting and burn of the leather where her father had struck over and over again.

She closed her eyes. Caleb had taken care of her. He’d gotten her healed and clean and given her a place to cry herself to sleep. But she would have to go home. And she didn’t know what that would look like. Her father, his reaction to this. He’d be furious, except that he could leverage this into an engagement.

“Good morning,” Caleb said softly walking in, holding a cup of tea. “Do you?” She nodded and reached out taking it. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” she said, “Thank you.” He nodded. “I know I can’t stay here, but I appreciate it.” He looked confused. “Maybe I can go in as Marie’s lady in waiting early. She’s not technically supposed to have one yet, but,”

“Of course you can stay here,” he said. She looked at him. “I told your father as much when I saw him last night.”

“You WHAT?” She said jumping out of bed. His face was flat and serious.

“If you don’t want to, of course, we can make other arrangements,” he said softly, “but you can’t go back there, and I won’t let anyone hurt you.” She stepped closer to him. “Olivia,” he muttered cautiously.

“Caleb,” she said softly.

“Don’t play with me,” he said softly. She swallowed. “Please, I don’t know how else to say it. I’m glad to be your friend if that’s what you need from me,” he said, “but I care for you, more than I realized, and if you don’t and can’t see yourself caring for me the same way,” he exhaled, “we can’t cross that line.” She rested her hands against his chest.

“Caleb,” she smiled gently, he nodded. “Please kiss me. I’ve been thinking about you kissing me for months.” He pulled her close and kissed her gently at first. Their mouths only gently opened. She deepened her hold on him, molding her body against his and then pulled away. “Well, that was lovely,” she said softly. He smiled.

“Yes it was,” he said. They kissed again and fell back against the bed. He moved his hand to her thigh and she whimpered gently. “I’ve wanted this for a long time.” She smiled shyly.

She wasn’t an innocent. There was Tom, and Anton. But Caleb’s touch, and the way he made her feel, and the way he talked made her feel shy, like she’d never even been alone with a man, let alone had a few lovers.

“I want you,” she said softly, running her hands over his chest. He moved his kiss to her neck. He sat up, straddling over her and undressed. She leaned up on her elbows.

“Are you sure?” He asked, lowering her back down under him. “It’s the point of no return, Olivia.” She smiled and cocked her head to the side.

“I’m sure,” she whispered. He slid his hand between her legs and spread her thighs. She exhaled a whimper.

“Mm,” he said as his fingers found her soft spot. “I do like all your little noises.” She panted as he started working her gently, whimpering and writhing a bit. “Tell me what you like, Olivia.”

“This,” she groaned arching into his fingers, “I like this so much.” He moved the material off her shoulder, letting the robe fall off of her completely, then he kissed down to her chest and found her nipple and sucked on it softly. “Caleb,” she exhaled, closing her eyes. “Yes, please,” she groaned. “More.” He pulled away and then straddled her again. “Don’t stop,” she whispered.

“I just want to look at you,” he said brushing her hair off her face. “So beautiful, I can barely believe it.” She smiled as he cupped her cheek. They kissed again he pressed into her, gently, moving in and out. “Olivia,” he whispered. And he repeated it over and over again. He shuddered.

“It’s alright,” she said, “I use whip willow.” He groaned and finished. After they lay together. “I like the way you say my name.” She whispered. “You use the whole O,” he laughed, fingering her palm. “And you don’t call me Livvie, like we’re still children.”

“Olivia,” he whispered and kissed her on top of her head.

“Caleb,” she said softly.

“Come to Pantona with me,” he said, “marry me. Let me keep you safe.” She smiled and touched his face gently, he pressed his lips against her palm.

“I can’t just run away to Pantona,” she said. He sighed and stretched, still smiling but something sad in it.

“Martin?” He asked. She nodded.

“I owe him a conversation, at least,” she said gently, “I do want to marry you.” She stretched.

“How are you feeling?” He asked. She smiled.

“Fine,” she said, “good. Thank you, for being my safe place.”

“I’ll always be here,” he promised. “For you, always.” She pressed her forehead to his. “I love you,” he whispered. She exhaled, feeling safe in that declaration.

“I love you too,” she whispered.