Annalise

I lay on my bed with Prior and he traced my features with his finger, like he was memorizing my face. I thought of the shadows version of his voice. I’d told him almost everything, though not the vision, I couldn’t do it yet.

I knew what it would mean.

“What happened here?” I asked. He smiled.

“There were shadows, Calla banished them,” he said. I smiled. “I went to your parent’s graves.” I looked at him. “I asked them to bring you back to me.” I exhaled. Gods, I love this man. Why isn’t it enough? “So he’s dead?”

“Yes,” I sighed.

“How does it feel?” He said. I shrugged.

“For you?” I whispered.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “Relieved I guess.” I nodded. “Something’s wrong.”

“Not wrong,” I said, “well, I mean, Marina.” He nodded. “But, no it’s,” I kissed him. “I had a vision,” he exhaled.

“I see,” he said, “about me?” I nodded.

“And Tristan,” I sighed, “and Harran, and Eric.” He sighed.

“And what did these shadow visions of your lovers have to say,” he whispered.

“You were begging me to love you,” I exhaled. He nodded. “I want to, Prior,” I whispered, pressing my forehead to his. “I want to love you like you love me. I want to want to marry you and have your children and everything we’ve talked about.” He exhaled.

“But you don’t,” he murmured.

“No,” I whispered. He kissed me deeply.

“What if I don’t care?” He whispered. “What if I want you, all of it anyway?” I clung to him. My Prior, my cornerstone for the last few years.

“I can’t,” I whispered. “Gods, I wish I could.”

“If he hadn’t come back into your life,” he whispered, “do you think,” he drifted off.

“We’ll never know,” I said, realizing I was crying. “Because he did.” We left the rest unsaid. Because he knew. He always knows. He kissed me again, and we fell asleep clinging tightly to this, to the end. I woke up and he’d already gotten up to dress.

“I didn’t want to wake you,” he whispered and sat with me. “But I think I should go.” I nodded and carefully unclasped the necklace and handed it to him.

“Prior,” I said, “what will you do?” He sighed.

“The rangers,” he shrugged. “I can’t go back to Allred.” I nodded. “I’m yours to command, Your Majesty. I took a vow.”

“I know,” I said. He kissed my forehead for a long time. I eventually dressed and walked down to the room where Marina was being kept. She was awake but not talking, barely moving, staring out the window. “Did she sleep?” I asked Nika.

“A little,” Nika said, “Lefty went to get some broth.” I nodded. “She needs the sea, Annalise.” I exhaled.

“There’s a salt pond,” I mumbled, “Caleb built it as a tenth birthday present.”

“I’ll bathe her in that, it might help,” she said, “but it won’t be enough.”

“Brightcoast is too far,” I said. She nodded. “Dorin?”

“Mm,” she sighed, “do you want to rely on the Dumanis?”

“You don’t have to,” Carolina walked in, I looked at her. The vision of Tristan, talking about how he took her wanting me filled my mind. “Raniere said he’d helped however he could.” I exhaled.

“You can get word to him?” I asked. She sighed and seemed to be thinking it through.

“Yes,” she decided. “Through my sister, I was sending a letter out to her anyway.” I nodded. “A messenger who we trust to get to Dorin is harder to come by. William still isn’t back.” I exhaled.

“I’ll go,” Prior said. I hadn’t heard him come in. “Let me do this for you.” I nodded.

“Thank you,” I said, a lump in my throat. He nodded and left. Caro looked at me.

“It’s over?” She said. I nodded. “I’m sorry.” I nodded and wandered the house. The spots of my childhood haunting me, I was so tired, and I didn’t know what to do next. I walked past the back terrace and saw Eric standing looking at the mountain. I walked out to him.

“I still can’t believe you grew up here,” he sighed. “All these hills, and no real water,” I laughed. “I should begin my plans to go home.”

“Don’t,” I said softly. He smiled. “Please, just, stay, we’ll figure it out.” I stepped closer.

“What about Prior?” He asked and slipped carefully slid his thumb against my collar bone. I swallowed.

“There is no Prior,” I whispered, my heart was heavy with it. He cupped my face and kissed me gently.

“Alright,” he whispered. “I’ll stay.” I smiled. Thomas stepped out. I looked at him.

“I need to talk to you,” he said, his voice flat. Eric nodded and I followed him inside. “I waited for you last night.”

“Why?” I asked. He folded his arms.

“To hold vigil,” he said, “I understand you needed your rest but tonight,” I stared at him.

“Who are we holding vigil for?” I asked. “Everyone lived.”

“Not everyone,” he swallowed.

“You aren’t serious, Thomas!” I forget this about him sometimes, how serious he is about it, how devout.

“It’s important,” he said simply. “He was Dovetail, your family, your father’s,” his voice shook a little at that.

“He killed my father,” I shouted. To only speak of Anton in Caleb’s house felt wrong. “Fathers. Both of them, they’re now avenged and can rest. As for Brayton, let Amina keep his soul, I hope she tears it to pieces for eternity to punish him. He doesn’t deserve a vigil, to rest, to go to our family.” I went to march past him and he followed me. “Hold vigil if you want, I won’t stop you, but I won’t be a part of it.”

“He was Dovetail,” Thomas repeated. “You are Dovetail, Annalise.” I looked at him. “It matters.” I away. “Anton was with me, in the clearing, helping me fight.”

“He came to you, he came to Aaron,” I mumbled, “he was busy.” He looked at me. “I’ll do the stupid vigil, Thomas.”

“Thank you,” he walked out. Sun down came eventually and I walked out my the pond where Thomas has set a small altar and lit a candle. I frowned and knelt beside him. We were silent for about an hour. “You’ll thank me someday.”

“How many of these have you sat because of him?” I asked. Thomas looked at me.

“That isn’t the point,” he said softly. I sighed. “Either these things matter or they don’t, Annalise.” I frowned. “Brayton was a person. I hated him. I hated him long before his soul shattered, when he was just a sullen little twerp who looked at me like I was dirt because I didn’t have a title.” I smiled. “And he killed my dearest friend, my twin heart,” I swallowed. I’d never heard that phrase before. But I understood it immediately. “But he was a person, he had a soul, and that must be noticed, and honored.” He exhaled. “And he shared your blood, and Anton’s, and that matters too.”

“When he was in the dungeon,” I said, “and I would go see him, and we would talk, he said I’d been tamed.” Thomas looked at me. “That Caleb had leashed me, but that it was all still there. The Dovetail things, the temper and the intensity and the entitlement. The appetite,” I shook my head. “It made me so angry because he was right. Being here, with them, did soften me.”

“It made you different, certainly different from Anton, who was already different from your grandfather, thank the gods,” he shrugged, “but tamed you? You are not tame, Annalise.” I smiled. “You had to be more, have to be. Caleb understood that more than anyone. But in all the differences, you are so like your father,” he sighed, “to the point that it frightened me, at first.”

“Olivia says it all the time too,” I whispered. He nodded.

He exhaled and we watched the flame of the candle, and waited until the sun came up. “Brayton Dovetail, Lord of Shadows, May you rest.”

“May you rest,” I whispered after him. I looked into the flame of the candle and saw a scene, from a different thread. I stood holding Eric’s hands at our wedding my parents at my side and Brayton presided over us in Mastero’s robes.

What could have been, Rana’s voice sighed in my mind. What a waste. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, I was crying. For Prior, for my family, for my cousins, for what could have been.