Note: OK, so, if two weeks ago we were talking about how Annalise is like Anton, here we get into how she’s like Marie. Also Olivia is still the best…and a Brayton insight that kind of…changes things, at least in my opinion. (And is also this sort of key detail about him that I realized I’ve never revealed. Mostly because, in what context would anyone talk about these events?)

Marie

She stood on the beach looking across the water and inhaled. She felt Anton step behind her and wrap his arms around her waist. It had been a year since she’d come to Cammadan and falling in love with Anton had brought her more peace than she thought possible.

“Do you still fear it?” He asked, kissing her neck gently. She cooed leaning back against him.

“No,” she sighed, “you’ll keep me safe.”

“I love you,” he said. “I think getting married here will be good.” She laughed.

“I haven’t said yes yet,” she turned around. He nodded.

“Hmm,” he said. “What could possibly be left to convince you?” She kissed him softly.

“Anton,” she said gently. “Loving each other is one thing, but marriage,” she swallowed. “My mandate,” he slid his hand to her stomach.

“Prophecies are misinterpreted all the time,” he said, “and I can think of worse things than a chosen king or queen for Cammadan.” She swallowed.

“It isn’t that simple,” she said, “didn’t Brayton tell you,” he laughed.

“I’m telling you I love you and want to marry you and you’re talking about Brayton’s jealous ramblings,” he said. She looked up at him. “He wants you, Marie, and he knows you don’t want him, it isn’t complicated.” She shook her head and pulled away. “Unless you do.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said, “you know I only want you.” He pulled her close again.

“And so you have me,” he whispered. “Marry me, love.”

“They’ll hate it,” she whispered sitting down in the sand.

“Who?” He frowned sitting with her.

“People,” she said. “Your people, the old lords. I’m foreign and insignificant! They want you to marry someone very grand and Cammadie!”

“And who is this grand Cammadie girl I’m meant for?” He was laughing.

“Please don’t laugh at me,” she said softly. “I don’t know, Olivia, I suppose.”

“If I asked Olivia to marry me now, she’d never speak to me again,” he said, “and my people will love you because I love you. And the old lords will eventually,” he fluttered his hand, “die I guess.” She looked at him and shook her head.

“I left Phania because I didn’t want to be a queen,” she said seriously.

“You didn’t want to be Daniel’s queen,” he countered. She scowled at him and stood up.

“Oh you have an answer for everything don’t you?” She fumed. “I know you aren’t used to being denied, Your Highness, but my answer is no!” She marched away. He stared at her retreating dumbfounded.

Anton

Anton walked into the bedroom and plopped down on the bed. The door opened behind him and Olivia Bano entered.

“Why are you in my bed, Anton?” She asked, sounding almost as annoyed as Marie had on the beach.

“The answer to that did used to be self evident, Livvie,” he rolled over and grinned at her. She frowned and narrowed her eyes.

“Are you drunk?” She scowled and placed a letter on her desk.

“Is that from Tom?” He asked. She frowned. “Marie turned me down.”

“What could she have been thinking?” Olivia deadpanned and sat down. “You’re just so charming!”

“Come comfort me,” he pouted.

“No,” she said.

“No?” He said. “I am clearly losing my irresistibility!” She huffed at him. “Why would she say no? I’m sensitive, clever, considerate, passionate, charming, handsome and heir to a throne.”

“And modest to boot!” Olivia gasped. He glared at her. “Marie loves you. Let that be enough.”

“It isn’t,” he said. “She said I should marry you.” She smiled.

“I hate to kick you when you’re down but, no thank you,” she said. He frowned at her.

“Is that a letter from Tom?” He asked. “I haven’t heard from him or John in weeks.” She crossed her arms defensively.

“It’s really none of your business,” she said. He sat up and looked at her. “It’s from Caleb.”

“Why?” He gaped. Caleb Pantona was an excellent courtier. He was also one of the dullest men in Anton’s acquaintance.

“We write sometimes,” she muttered, “while he’s in Pantona. We’re friends, like you and me.” He raised his eyebrows.

“So then he’s seen you naked,” Anton nodded. She glared at him. “You said like you and me.”

“I am once again, baffled as to why Marie wouldn’t want to marry you,” she said. He glared at her. “What do you actually want, my Prince?” She said gently. He looked up at her. “Don’t make a joke.”

“I want her,” he said, “forever.” She nodded.

“She’s offered you that,” she said. “But then you can’t marry.” He frowned. “That’s your choice.”

“When did you get so wise?” He said, taking her waist and pulling her down.

“When I grew up,” she shrugged.

“I don’t like it,” he frowned. “It’s quite annoying.” She giggled.

Marie

Marie sat in a courtyard at the University Outpost. She was still furious. How dare Anton treat her concerns like they were trivial, as if he could wave them away? And feel his desire overrode hers? She didn’t want to marry anyone! She’d offered him her love and her body and her companionship, and it wasn’t enough. He wanted vows that bound her to him and a destiny she wanted no part of.

“Marie?” Brayton walked out. He’d grown again. Two years younger than Anton, a year younger than her, he was still moving awkwardly between boyhood and manhood. “They said you were here to see me. Is everything alright?” His dark hair was just brushing his brow and his stormy grey eyes were concerned.

Those eyes. The same as Anton’s but somehow sadder and harder. She and Brayton had become friends when she first arrived. He had claimed to want to help her and Les sever her mandate. But lately being around him was difficult. She could sense the shift in his feelings for her and there was something else there, something darker.

“I,” she swallowed, “I told Anton no.” He blinked at her.

“Oh,” he sat down with her. “Why?” She looked at him.

“He doesn’t see me,” she sighed. “He doesn’t understand and he doesn’t seem to even want to try.” He cupped her face.

“I see you,” he whispered. She swallowed as he leaned closer and kissed her gently. She pulled away and stood up. “Marie, you have to know how I feel, I know you,” he followed her. “I know you don’t feel the same way. I didn’t even hope, because Anton is, well Anton,” she swallowed and looked at him, “but I do love you, and I’d take such good care of you, Marie, I would.”

“Kiss me again,” she said. He smiled and pulled her close and kissed her, more passionately this time. It was clumsy, but terribly sweet. Maybe this was why something in her was fighting against Anton. Maybe she belonged with Brayton. “Tell me what you want from me.” She said softly.

“From you?” Brayton lifted her chin. “I’ll take whatever you wish to give me.” She let him kiss her again. But her heart stayed steady, didn’t speed up, no heat spread over her blood. She didn’t love Brayton, but maybe she could bask in his love for her, and her own would grow.

Anton

This trip to Brightcoast had been hastily put together. He’d done it in hopes of pleasing Marie and now he hadn’t even seen her in days. He wanted to apologize or something, anything, he just wanted to see her.

Instead she walked into the dining room for the only official supper they were having before returning to Dovetail in a week, and he jumped out of his seat to run to her, and he froze seeing she was on his cousin’s arm. He felt like an invisible hand had taken hold of her throat. Marie, in her simple white gown, and her dark curls piled on her head, decorated with borrowed pearls from Anne, with Brayton, who looked entirely too pleased with himself for Anton’s mind. He strode over to them.

“Lady Marie, you look lovely,” he took her hand and kissed it.

“Your Highness,” she said. Her eyes met his. What was she thinking?

“Cousin,” Anton said, his jaw clenched and Brayton smirked. “I didn’t know you were joining us.”

“Had I known you were coming I would have been to see you sooner, of course,” Brayton said. “But until Marie came to see me I hadn’t the slightest idea court was in Brightcoast.” Came to see him? Why had she gone to see him?

“It isn’t full court, as you can see,” Anton said. “I know you came here to study, I didn’t wish to distract you.” Brayton smirked again.

“Brayton has agreed to come back Dovetail,” Marie said softly. Anton clenched his jaw.

“Has he?” He said. “How fortunate.””

“Of course,” Brayton looked at Marie, “after all, nothing is more distracting than being apart.” Anton frowned. He didn’t understand what was happening, but he needed to speak to Marie.

Marie

She stood out on the terrace and took a deep breath. A year ago she’d met Anton out here, now she didn’t know what was happening, how her life had become such a mess.

“You only needed to tell me,” Anton’s voice drifted behind her. “If it was that you wanted to be with Brayton, I wouldn’t have,” he exhaled. She looked at him. “How tedious these last few months must have been for you.” He was so hurt. He could never mask his heart, she loved him so much for it.

“It isn’t what you think,” she swallowed, there were tears in her eyes, “I went to see him after I left you.” Anton was standing so straight and tall. “I just needed someone to talk to. And he,” she exhaled. “He isn’t you,” she whispered. “I love you. But I can’t give you what you need and he just wants me. I can give that.” Anton pulled her close and kissed her deeply. Her heart fluttered, her body flushed she clung to him like it might save her life.

She’d never be kissed by Anton Dovetail again. What a horrible thought. He’d never touch her, or make love to her again, or laugh when she got frustrated, or a million small things that made him perfect.

“I’ll never love anyone else,” Anton whispered. “I think the gods put me in this world for you.” She swallowed. “Be happy with him, Marie, you deserve so much joy.” She looked up at him and swallowed and he squeezed her hand and stepped away.

That night rather than return to the university, Brayton came to her bed. Like his kisses, his lovemaking was eager, sweet, and a bit clumsy.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he murmured as he moved in her.

“Brayton,” she whispered, doing her best to draw pleasure from him. He groaned as she said his name and finished. He held her and she slept. She Dreamed that night of a girl with soft caramel skin and grey Dovetail eyes, and she was carrying Anton’s sword.

Anton

Olivia found him on the beach, a bottle of her beloved Caleb’s Pantona whiskey half drunk beside him.

“Oh Anton,” she said. He smiled up at her.

“Spose the next girl will go to, I dunno,” he muttered, “my father? John? You’re with my best frien,” he hiccuped. “She’s with my cousin. Running out of men close by to be left for.” She sat down with him. “Why’d you choose Tom?” She frowned.

“I don’t think that’s the same,” she whispered. “You weren’t in love with me.” He frowned.

“Livvie,” he kissed her neck, “we were nice though. I liked being with you. Didn’t hurt. This hurts.” She pushed him away gently. “Course, you’ve got Pantona now. Pretty Livvie Bano needs her title.”

“You’re drunk so I’m going to let that one slide,” she said. He fell backwards.

“That was mean,” he said, “you’re right. Bet Brayton’s not mean. Pious, smug little shit. With his books and his magic and his, his,” he frowned. “My Marie. But she’s his now.”

“What will make you feel better?” She asked. He took her hand and pulled her on top of him. “Besides sex, Anton.”

“No, no,” he said, “sex will be good. Tom won’t mind, he understands. Plus he’s with that merchant boy.” She frowned and stood up. “Livvie, wait.”

“Come see me when you’re ready to apologize,” she said. “We aren’t just your toys, Anton. The rest of us have lives to live too.”

Marie

Marie woke up to Brayton dressing. He smiled as she sat up.

“I didn’t want to wake you,” he said and kissed her gently. “You were fitful, is everything alright?”

“I was,” she started, but stopped short of telling him she was Dreaming. She’d have to told Anton, she realized. “I just don’t sleep well.” She lied. He nodded. The door swung open and Lady Olivia Bano burst in.

“Hello Lady Olivia,” Brayton purred sarcastically at her. She stared daggers at him. “I’ll see you later, Marie?”

“Of course,” she whispered. He kissed her, possessively, as if proving something. He left the two girls in icy silence.

“I know we don’t know each other well, but may I ask what in the hell you think you’re doing?” Olivia finally broke it. “Anton is beside himself! I am certainly on your side about the marriage, he was being a terrible bully about it, but whatever this is,” she exhaled. “It’s cruel.”

“You couldn’t understand,” Marie stood up, pulling a robe on. Olivia frowned. “I can’t be with Anton, I can’t. And I can’t be alone either, I need,” she sighed. “If I don’t have someone to protect me, my brother will continue to delay.” Olivia stared at her. “Daniel could,” she hugged herself, “well, call me back basically.” Olivia nodded. “Les deserves his happiness. And Brayton is powerful, and he adores me,” she looked down. “But I won’t lose myself to him. I love Anton too much, he’d take all of me and not even realize he was doing it.”

“I understand that better than you might think,” Olivia said gently. Marie nodded. “I think we’d all give our whole selves to Anton before he realized he’d asked too much of us.” She paused. “Tom is in love with someone else,” she whispered. “I see it, in his letters, the way he writes about him. He’s only ever talked that way about Anton. Sometimes I think I went to Anton to please Tom, if he couldn’t have him, I could.” She looked down. “I broke my own heart for him, but you don’t have to Marie.” Marie looked at her and started crying.

“What have I done?” She whispered. “He won’t forgive me, how could he?” Olivia held her while she cried.

Anton

They’d returned to Dovetail and he was avoiding her as much as possible. Complete avoidance was impossible, of course, as Brayton’s sudden interest in being present meant Marie was at his side.

Sometime in Anton made him feel like his cousin was torturing him. And something was wrong with Marie. She seemed desperately unhappy, and it seemed like Brayton hadn’t noticed.

“You need to find someone,” his father said one afternoon. “I know you’re disappointed, I understand, but Anton,” he sighed.

“I know,” Anton said softly. “I know, I do. Can’t you and Mother just pick someone?” His father laughed.

“I believe your mother would certainly try,” he said, “if either of us thought it would make you even remotely happy.”

Anton glanced across the courtyard to see Marie sitting with one of her books. He excused himself and walked across. She looked up at him.

“May I help you?” She asked.

“I suppose not,” he said. She furrowed her brow. “I think I forgot,” she smiled gently. “I miss you.”

“Oh Anton, please don’t,” she whispered. “What’s the point?” He sat down.

“The point is I miss you,” he whispered. “And you seem unhappy.” She swallowed. “If you were happy, maybe I could,” she smiled indulgently. “Well, no, I guess I couldn’t.”

“No,” she said, “you couldn’t.” He pressed his hand against her cheek. “I miss you too.” He leaned in and kissed her gently.

“Sweet girl.” She sighed softly.

“Could I still say yes?” She whispered.

“Yes,” he said. She smiled. He vowed to himself to make her smile everyday for the rest of their lives.

Marie

She stood in her room folding a few things to go in a trunk, humming to herself. The door opened and she looked up.

“You sent for me?” Brayton asked, wrapping his arms around her from behind. She slid away. “What’s wrong? I thought, when you, that you wanted me, we haven’t since that night.”

“Brayton, I,” she exhaled, “this was wrong, of me. Leading you on,” he frowned, he looked so young again. “That night, we shouldn’t have.”

“I don’t understand.” He said.

“I accepted Anton this afternoon,” she said. Brayton stared at her.

“Why?” He asked.

“I love him,” she mumbled. “I know this hurt you, I’m sorry.”

“I love you,” he said. “I thought you understood.” She swallowed. “You’re going to marry him?” She nodded. She saw it then, on his face, in his eyes. The dark thing, whatever it was. “Fine, then, I wish you joy.” He marched out and slammed the door. She exhaled and prayed to Rana that he’d forgive them, though somehow she doubted it.